Dream

Mar. 29th, 2017 02:12 pm
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I dreamed a bunch of local alt-right/nazis/whatever were having a gathering near my house. So my friends and I decided it would be the perfect time to beat the world record for building and playing the world’s largest vuvuzela. 

If I remember it snaked most of the way down the hill and the police had to get involved when we started to play it. The nazis were NOT happy.
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Vetinari: You have two cows. You convince them they will better off with you alive and in control than not.
Sam Vimes: You have two cows. They are probably guilty of something. Loitering, probably.
Young Sam: Where are your cows? Those goes "baah." Those are sheep. They are not your cows.
Moist von Lipwig: You steal two cows. You convince everyone they are made of gold and sell them for a fortune. You get arrested and become Minister of Agriculture.
Tiffany Aching: You have two cows. An elf tries to steal them and you hit it with a frying pan.
Nac Mac Feegle: Someone has two cows. You steal them, then fight them, then fight yourself. You win.
Rincewind: You run away from cows.
Unseen University: You have two cows. One is caught up in a magical accident and is now a chair. The other has become a professor.
Sybil Ramkin: You have many cows. They aren't dragons, so you don't care. You have 37 dragons.
Nanny Ogg: You have a cow and a bull. You enjoy explaining how they will make more cows.
Granny Weatherwax: You wish Gytha would stop explaining how you get cows.
King Verence: You try to create an economic plan for your country based on bovine products; your people are too busy listening to Nanny Ogg.
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I didn’t remember what Tony/Bruce was and seriously guys, some of these are hilarious. I wish I had an infinite number of hats so I could take them off forever to the people who came up with some of these:

Bruce/Clint: Hulkeye, Angry Birds

Natasha/Steve: The Cold War

Coulson/Loki: Frosted Doughnut, Iced Coffee, Coulki

Bruce/Tony/Steve: Stark Spangled Banner

Bruce/Loki/Thor: Super Smash Brothers

Coulson/Natasha/Loki (or Thor or Odin): Nat King Coul

Pepper/Steve: Capsaicin 

Bucky/Steve: Starbucks, Barnes and Noble, Freezer Burn

Natasha/Bucky: Soviet Spouses, Soviet Soulmates, Red Room Romance

Steve/Peggy: American Revolution

Steve/Sam: American Airlines, Freebird

Darcy/Tony: Electrical Engineering 

Pepper/Tony/Rhodey: Tony NO 
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Today, Mirek staged a huge mecha battle with a samauri warlord in shogun Japan, organised a rebellion against the arseholes at the time-travel agency, and next week we are going to assasinate Hitler.

The GM finally just shook his head and said that after that we're ending the adventure because seriously, how the hell are supposed to top that?
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I may play this game again, which is probably the fastest turn around I've had for a game since the only game I had was Baldur's Gate, and I'm sure I interpersed that with a few games of Ultimate Windows Games (Solitare, Hearts, Freecell and Minesweeper, get through all without losing a single game), just so i can understand it better in context.

Because I Was Not Giving A Fuck when I played in the first time, i spent about half the game swearing at everyone and everything, insulting to Colombians' dress-sense, accent, views, values, religion and habits of leaving food and money everywhere, stealing everything that wasn't nailed down, turning on every tap I could find in the hope that the city would run out of water and die (until I got to Battleship bay and saw how friggin' pointless that was). I would have taken a piss in every drink I could have found and kicked kids to the ground and teabagged them until they drowned if the game had given me the option. Look at all the fucks I give! They are nonexistant! I am in your city, fucking your shit! Booker DeWitt shits in your salad and slaps you in the face with your own testicles you inbred proto-Nazi scum.

I kept it up until the end of the game (until the asylum bit, where everything got a bit too nasty to laugh at) only by that time I was swearing at DeWitt as often as the setting.Y'know, I am not taking the word of a fucking Pinkerton as to whether a rebellion is moral or not. After I realised the Pinkerton badge actually belonged to DeWitt I had him jump off roofs for a bit to teach him a lesson. But you'd have thought the game believes DeWitt was the ultimate voice of morality (well, him and Elizabeth. A Pinkerton and a girl who'd be eaten alive on the streets of Paris and have her bones spat out to line the catacombs, woo, colour me impressed) the way they bend the plot into pretzels to try and get me to thinkSome vague spoilers (nothing game-breaking) )

Pure Gold

Mar. 29th, 2013 12:59 am
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Do you browse Twitter, idly clicking links from friends only to back away in horror?

Do you flick through news sites on googles, click on an apparently fascinating article only to gouge your eyes in disgust?

Do you click without thinking and find you brain overheating with pure instinctual rage?

Fear not! Help is at hand with Firefox's add-on KittenBlock!

Should you accidentally make the mistake to click on a Daily Mail link, this add-on will automatically redirect you to http://www.teaandkittens.co.uk/

And, for an added bonus, it will block the Daily Express as well!

Dread no more browsing on the web lest you encounter a rampaging Littlejohn, tea and kittens will be on their way before your computer has a chance to upload a sentance of rage inspiring drivel!
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And yes, I know it's probably the 22nd already in some part of the world, but I'm convinced the apocalypse will be civilised and start at Greenwich Mean Time.

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I love Claude Lanzmann, he reminds me so much of my dad it's hilarious. Overly opinionated obliviously stubborn Frenchmen for the win!

I don't think Lanzmann ever quite realised what he'd done when he made Shoah, it's weird when someone does something that's so amazing, only for them to miss 98% of the point it made and the rest to go clean over their heads.

His interviews are hysterical, particularly the bit where he gets so crazily self-righteous about "If I ever found footage from inside a gas chamber I'd destroy it!", only to promptly film a section of Shoah where the camera pans into a revoltingly detailed model of a gas chamber completely with little screaming people models. You just want to go: 'Dude, the distance by which you missed the point is equal to the net distance between Earth and Mars. You fail so hard."

But at the end of the day he could probably eat a kitten live on TV and no one would care. Because Shoah? Is incredible. A film of that calibre can forgive almost any fault.
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I keep being reminded of this tweet during the 7/7 bombings: 

"They did their worst, and they managed to disrupt our transport network and get fatalities in the low double figures. That happens on a fairly regular basis anyway, you twits. What's your next trick - a fiendish weather control device which makes it rain on a bank holiday weekend?"

And I really can't help but wonder...
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"I would like to wish everyone a very happy Zombie Awareness day and remind everyone to "Aim for the Head".

Let us not forget the story of the Roman Centurion who forgot this most important of rules. His gut-shot blunder during the small zombie outbreak in Jerusalem around 30CE led to millions more deaths throughout the centuries that followed. If you do not aim for the head, your zombie may go on to found a major religion and we already have more than enough of those."
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And so after a headsup from me and a moderate tube journey, the lass swans blithely into a shop in London and buys her copy of Mass Effect 3 Collectors Edition over the counter. Which should keep her out of mischief for a week or so...
    • Rae Just... how?!
    • Peter  How? I did some online research and found that CEX was one of the shop chains that are selling ME3 CE over the counter. Mam'selle took a tube trip over to Uxbridge and Bob's your auntie (after the gender reassignment surgery)
    • Aaran Nice work chap!
    • Peter  Merci mon brave! She's currently bunkered in her room dreading encountering spoilers for the game. I can't even flick thru the game art book in case I inadvertantly drop hints as to what is to come...
    • Aaran Dude, harsh. If your feeling brave you could make up some spolers and "accidentally" drop them hmmm. Shep gets shot in the eye and looses a leg half way through the game and spends the rest of the game looking like an angry pirate?
    • Peter Nahh, wouldn't do that. One of our differences is that I don't mind spoilers for films, games, things like that - I like the artistry of the narrative anyway. But she relishes immersive experiences so much more if shes clueless about whats coming next... and I can get behind that.
    • Rae Peter, she would kill you. She would kill you dead.
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But there is no way in hell I'm going to miss Iron Sky. Nazis on the Moon! Flying Saucers! President Sarah Palin! It's a film that breaks plausability with the poster, so it's going to be one of those films where I go "Of course you're going to defeat the Nazis with Zombie!FDR in a killer wheelchair and his personal army of ninja bears, how else could it be done?"

So, who's with me?
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Paramour got teary-eyed when I presented him with ten meters of dull grey ethernet cable. Then we went out for dinner and came home to watch toy story 3 for the 4th time (cried, again). It was cool.

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