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Nate is in some ancient basement where he finally finally finally found that fucking holotape and he’s copying it to his pipboy because no way is he ever losing it again. And he’s playing it, this slow ancient rock and roll three hundred years gone, echoing around an dusty old concrete bunker. And Nate has his eyes closed, just swaying very slowly to the rhythm, and feeling it jar up little scraps of memory, sensation. Savoring the memories it brings up as much as the music itself.
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Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with? Not currently. Nate isn’t sure if he ever had siblings. He thinks he had an older female relative, but whether it was an older sister, cousin, or very young aunt- or even just a family friend- is beyond him.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like? Nate’s mother was kind, patient. She was a rather more withdrawn person, quiet and understated, but very firm. Nate thinks she was closer to her, he has more memories of her than his father, at least. He remembers watching her cook, dress, put on makeup.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like? Nate’s father was a bit more distant, but was very supportive. He was very proud of Nate’s intelligence, his interests in engineering and subversive music. The last one was the main thing they could bond over. Unfortunately, his love was very subjective. 

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know? Beside obviously the pills, there was the bombs, but more recently, there was the Institute. Nate is trying to get back to normal, but he isn’t quite the same person. He’s quieter, sick of anger and hate, a little tired.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets? Lighters, string, wonderglue, spare bullets, a packet of cigarettes for Nick, a little makeup, doggy treats for Dogmeat, screws. Nate has big pockets and you can find almost anything inside them, up to and including eggs. Once, Nate felt something move inside his pocket, reached in, and found a chick.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams? They tend to be rather vague and strange, flowing landscapes, people who are simultaneously three other people, strange colours ebbing and flowing. It’s very peaceful, and Nate always wakes from those dreams happy.

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares? Unlike the dreams, these are very, very vivid, and tend to center around his memories. These days, they bounce between terrible things happening to him (usually involving pills) or Nick (usually involving the Institute).

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target? Nate fired a gun at a very young age, his parents were from Louisiana and it was considered pretty much a rite of passage. He was about eleven, and his father took him out to go duck hunting. Nate fired a lot, hit precisely no ducks, and had a great time. These days, he’s managed to kill a Behemoth with a single shot.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up? Nate doesn’t really have a socioeconomic status now. When he was growing up, he was lower middle class, .

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing? Less clothes usually ;) he wears light armor and clothes when out in the Commonwealth, and enjoys wearing dresses when he can.

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been? Probably when he was arrested, in the nightclub. He was only seventeen, and was absolutely certain he was about to be shot.

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been? When they took down the Prydwen. It was the right thing to do, he knew exactly what he was doing, he was calm, steady and afterwards- it felt like he was surfacing after a long time underwater.

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way? Not really, Nate has seen a lot, and besides, blood and gore and bones  are completely innocent compared with other things he have seen.

Does your character remember names or faces easier? Names, he’s not great with faces, although in the Commonwealth, people tend to be a little more memorable, not having any styles to emulate, so that helps.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not? No, he tends to throw caps around pretty casually. Money is for doing things with, and he will happily build things and buy things for his friends and family.

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success? Happiness, absolutely. He would happily have a quieter life in order to be happy. He actually gave up finding Shuan, because he didn’t want to risk what he had.

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child? Nate has no idea. Now he’s pissed off for having that too taken from him. He thinks his family had a bicycle and he liked it, but that’s pretty vague. 

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others? Wisdom, definitely. He’s rather suspicious of ambition, people seem to be very easily corrupted by it.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before? He tends to be very blunt and tactless, and has sometimes hurt Nick by accident due to this.

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?  Definitely in being a good person, for self criticism. Nate likes being around good people like Nick and Preston because it helps give him a better idea of what he needs to be like.

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others? I think Nate would blame himself first, but would have a better idea as to responsibility as time goes on. He tends to be fair on himself and others.

What does your character like in other people? Kindness, generosity, selflessness. 

What does your character dislike in other people? Ambition, arrogance, selfishness and casual cruelty.

How quick is your character to trust someone else? A little too quick, as Nate learned with the Brotherhood and, to some extend, Deacon.

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person? He tends not to, Nate tends to be a little naive at times, but if they do break that trust, he finds it very hard to forget.

How does your character behave around children? Not so well, Nate is still very young himself, and hasn’t had much experience with children. He tends to treat them like small adults, which tends to work.

How does your character normally deal with confrontation? Depends on the confrontation, with misunderstandings, Nate tries to deescalate, but if they are a threat, he will get violent very quickly.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation? Either he will try and talk people down, or his will be the first shot fired.

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true? Building things, creating new technology, building a better world. This is pretty much what he is doing, so it’s just fine.

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting? Bloatflies for the most part, arrogance, but the worst is mindless obedience. He’s been there, it terrifies him.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable. He and Nick and Dogmeat are walking through the Glowing Sea, everything is very clear, very still, nothing for miles. Everything is quiet. He pulls Nick against him, kisses him, it’s wonderful.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable. Nate is in a noisy place, there is a storm, he cannot see, people are trying to kill him, he is alone. 

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve? Usually happy to improve, he knows he’s not always that great, and wants to be better.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method? It depends how many spoons he’s got left. Usually no, he can stop and rethink what he is doing. If he is low on spoons though, he tends to burn out and find it hard to chance track.

How does your character behave around people they like? Lots of praise, lots of kind words and sweet banter. Nate will not be mean or unpleasant to them, or even tease for fear they’d take it the wrong way or it would come out wrong.

How does your character behave around people they dislike? Distant, a bit snarky, deadpan. He just wants to get away from them.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status? Honor, although Nate has a loose grasp of that, he has an even weaker view of status. I would say neither were too important.

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat? Most threats to him are threats to other people, he removes the threat, if it’s an animal, he might avoid it though.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)? A lot in the Commonwealth. He knows these animals are threats, and takes care.

How does your character treat people in service jobs? Very well. If you are shitty to someone in a service position, you don’t get service.

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first? Nate does think he’s gone through enough, he should have some nice things. To be fair, he doesn’t need much. He just wants to quiet life as a scavver and engineer, and spend time with Nick.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them? Not really. He views most people as equals regardless of age these days, and cannot remember much from before the war.

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them? Well, synth Shaun, and that was a complete trainwreck. Nate had just shot human Shaun, and didn’t want another kid. Tinker Tom adopted the kid.

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it? Easy, Nate loves saying it. He loves saying it.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? Nate believes he will die, and there is nothing else. Sometimes he wonders about what will happen to his body, if it will go through division and become part of something greater. regardless, he won’t know about it. He doesn’t mind, it sounds peaceful, and there will be nothing more, good or bad.
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25 Questions For Your D&D Characters and OCs

What is this character’s alignment?  Chaotic good.Nate is very dedicated to helping people, and equally dedicated to stamping out authority. His ideal is a world in independent, loosely connected anarchy. He is completely the CG character in the D&D alignment and kitties comic (Maybe with a NG Nick in the background quietly facepalming).

What is a notable quote from this character? Alternatively, what is their favorite quote? Since Nate has just blown up the Institute, I’ll just go with what he shouted as he popped up in front of Ayo’s front desk. Broad, manic smile. “HIYA ASSHOLE!” Boom goes Ayo’s head. BOOM goes the Institute. Nate is better at actions that words.

Summarize your character’s backstory with no more than three sentences. Waking up in the radioactive wasteland is the best thing that ever happened to Nate. If only the past hadn’t come along, in his head, and lurking out there.

Describe your character using a song title. Voodoo Child. Which is also his favorite song and artist.

Are there any story arcs you would like this character to explore? I would love Nate to travel more. The Fallout world doesn’t lend itself too well for long-distance travel, but I would like to have Nate in new cultures and countries to explore. He’d have a great time as a fish-out-of-water.

What would your character like (or have liked) to do with their life? Ick. Nate would say ‘nothing’ a little too quickly. The world before the bombs was hell, he was too busy surviving. But that’s a lie, because Nate had dreams, back then, but he doesn’t want to tell anyone he’d once wanted to work for CIT. Currently, Nate is happy to go on as he is, maybe get involved in some bigger technological projects around the commonwealth- like maybe setting up teleportation relays in each settlement to improve trade.

Who is your character’s best friend? Nick Valentine, although Piper Wright comes close.

Who is your character’s worst enemy? Nate tends not to have enemies, they suffer from a strange condition where their heads end up several meters away from their bodies. The one who’d lasted longest was Shaun, and honestly I think being shot in the head would have been kinder.

Who has, for better or worse, had the most impact on your character’s life? Amusingly enough, probably Dogmeat, without him Nate would probably have ended up eaten by molerats within the first day. More seriously, Nick.

What is the most badass thing this character has done? Spent an entire night on a rooftop sniping at a legendary sentry bot. He accidentally activated it while clearing a bunch of ferals out of some ruins for a local settlement. Seeing as he didn’t think coming back telling them “Good news! You no longer have a feral problem! Bad news, you have a sentry bot problem!” would go down well, he stuck it out all night, dodging missiles and hacking away at the thing’s health for the best part of eight hours until it finally detonated (possibly out of frustration) and Nate quietly passed out in an air vent.

What crime is this character most likely to be convicted of? He’s already been arrested for being hella gay, but otherwise, probably shooting someone, or semi-public sex.

What meme would you use to describe the character? I don’t think it’s a meme, but I think Nate would really like the Picard song.

Does this character swear frequently? He was in the army, doesn’t remember most of it, but the swearing stuck. He gets very inventive sometimes- “I will eat your fucking face you degenerate, fascist piece of- the last words he said to Shaun before Nick dragged him out and firmly closed the door because this place is going up in flames in twenty minutes Nate focus.

What is this character’s relationship with religion or the church? God is dead. There was a god, before the war, and he died. Maybe he’s buried with the other old god under Dunwich borers. Either way he’s not around any more. There is a new god now, Atom. He’s a vast improvement.

Would this character ever make a deal with a devil or dark spirit? No. He might seem to go along with it for a while, but the demon is going to end up sans head in short order.

Emotion or Logic? Emotion.

Soup or Salad? Soup. Nate never really thought about it, but soup would be a good way of getting food. He’s better with liquids. Hmm…

Is your character currently in love? Is there anyone in love with your character? Yes :) Nate and Nick are very happy together.

Do you ship your character with any other characters? (This includes characters from other universes and canons) Not really. 

How would this character seduce a lover? “Oh, I like you.” Coupled with a brilliant smile. The poor person then gets deluged with presents, flowers, and endless compliments. Nick still isn’t entirely sure what hit him.

If your character could play any part in a drama, stage production, or musical, what part would they play? Nate wouldn’t be the one to come up with the idea, but he will happily volunteer to join in. He would definitely enjoy playing any glamorous fatale type characters.

What is your character’s favorite album? Electric Ladyland by Jimi Hendrix. He would give so much to find a holotape of it one day.

What does this character mean to you? Nate is a really upbeat, determined person who’s currently seeing me through some rough times. He’s making the last six months of my shitty contract worthwhile.
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I- I’m not sure. I would say it was destroying the Institute but I don’t feel… pride for that? It’s just too big, too- overwhelming. Besides, it wasn’t really something I did, it was me and Desdemona and Z1-14 and that’s only the beginning, hundreds of people and synths had a hand and my role might have been important but- so was theirs? If it wasn’t for them I’d be back to my old plan of tossing a bunch of radioactive isotopes into the fresh water supply. Which would have been a disaster, now I think about it. 

It was something I was part of, it was incredibly important and I’ll never feel sorry I did it, but so was building Sanctuary’s waste pipes, and that was at least less disgusting. I don’t feel proud of what I did, I mostly feel sick about what I saw, and what I was part of, even unwillingly.

I think- I know it’s self centered, and doesn’t really have much on an impact in the world in general, but- I think the thing I’m most proud of is managing to eat again. I mean, it’s not much, I can manage an egg and a mutifruit most days, but it’s the first major victory I’ve had over the mess in my head. It’s going to be a long road, but at least there is a road, and I’ve managed a first step.
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Another chapter of the Adventures of Nate and Nick.

Today, they find a kink shop.

-http://ift.tt/2r5QNwC

(remove dashes in the address)
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Now to edit and reread a bunch of time until I’m happier with it.

In which Nate falls through a floor, Nick doesn’t know anything about kink, and despite all this, there is sex.
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(I don’t have a Nate RP blog so let’s just imagine this is one)

Things are well. I wanted to ask your opinion on something. (Nate shifts, looking uncertain). What do you think about- transhumanism? If you could- blur the line between synth and human. Without hurting anyone! Almost no one! No one who isn’t already dead- and deserved it. (in an undertone)

It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a a while and asking Nick is- well, there’s reasons why not. I know the Institute’s views on it but I wouldn’t trust them to tell me the sky was blue. I thought you might be the person to ask. It’s- it’s something that’s becoming increasingly important.
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1. What is one word to shut them up?

Murderer. He is. Not in the Commonwealth, that’s self defence, but before. Murderer. The minigun white hot in his hands, the bodies scattered in flecks of blood and white exsanguinated flesh. Present weapon, soldier. Advance. Fire at will.

(what a joke. What will?)

2. What is the thing they feel the most guilty about?

No. He’s not going to think about it. He doesn’t want to. You can’t make him. Make it stop make it stop make it stop-

The family is screaming at him. The gun is out but he hasn’t fired yet. The aquifer under their farm is almost pumped dry now, one of the last unpolluted wells in the northern US. The heavy pipes grunt and cough as they reach the bottom and the woman falls to her knees, screaming at Nate what are we going to do what are we going to do-

Die. Starve as the crops fail. Slow poison from the radiation that’s leaked into everything now. Watch as her children’s hair and teeth rot and fall out or stake everything they have on the blackmarket because only the military can afford radaway. Her face is etched into the back of Nate’s mind, a Hiroshima cameo.

3. What is the worst pain they’ve ever experienced?

Losing his mind, little by little, scrap by scrap. The first few months were the worst because he was still himself, he could watch himself is horror as he lost thought, knowledge, awareness, broke down cog by cog. Worse, some of these memories actually survive.

4. Describe their worst nightmare.

He is still at his desk in CIT. Before, it was a radio. His roommates and classmates are laughing at him. He built that radio himself, and now it’s in pieces in front of him. Come on, can’t you fix it? You’re not one of us, go back to the jungle- and he can’t. He could, just a few weeks ago he could have done it with his eyes shut but now- he can feel the pills gnawing away at the back of his mind, tiny worms, eating him to nothing.

He blinks, and it’s not the radio any more. He’s lookign into Nick’s black, dead eyes, his body, laid out and torn open and nothing but spare parts and he can’t fix him-

5. List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear.

On the surface, Nate fears losing his mind again. It’s something he guards against, and never goes near chems or alcohol. For repressed, he’s afraid of losing the people he cares about, and Nick in particular. For deep dark- well, he fears remembering. He doesn’t want to remember. Everything he’s seen already is so horrible, he doesn’t want to see any more.

6. What is something that never fails to make them feel sick?

It comes from when Nate finally goes to the Institute for the first time, and meets a Courser. These people, these synths- they are his fault. He was the first guinea pig the Institute used, when they were still CIT, that ended with the torture these people were living through.

7. What feature (physical or otherwise) do they hate most about themselves?

Not so traumatising, but Nate really doesn’t like his hair. It’s curly, but not curly enough to get a good afro or dreadlocks, and tends to get quite greasy and dirty. Nate washes it a lot, and keeps it very short.

8. Do they have anything that triggers them?

It’s hard to know. There are so many things. Sometimes Nate feels like he’s living in a minefield, he knows where some of the dangers are- power armor, miniguns, food- but there are so many more, hidden below the surface and the only way he knows is when they go off.

9. What is their greatest physical weakness?

Nate is not strong. His bones are frail from lack of food and break easily, he can’t run very far without needing to stop and can’t carry much weight. He also tends to get sick more easily.

10. What is their greatest mental weakness?

Well, his PTSD mostly, but he also has a few ticks and compulsions that put him at risk: he has a tendency to fixate on one thing to the exclusion of other, more important problems- he’d focus on picking a lock even as a hoard of feral ghouls are crashing down on them, and even when he gets his gun out, he’ll focus then on just killing ghouls and not notice, say, the deathclaw that’s just joined the party.

11. Do they have any vices?

Anger. Nate’s fixations carries over to emotion and he finds it very hard to break out of intense emotion. With anger, Nate just- loses any middle gears. It’s not just that he kills, but he draws it out, plays with the person he’s after like a cat with a mouse. It takes a lot to get Nate that angry, but Nick was pretty horrified at Nate’s behaviour when the time comes to sack the Institute. He’s never seen Nate so utterly without mercy and seeming almost to delight in hurting the humans there.

12. Have they ever done something illegal? What was it?

Being gay. Because that was apparently a crime back then. Nate is very glad it isn’t here.

13. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describes them?

Probably Greed. Not for money, or material goods but for everything. He wants every experience, he wants every pleasure and joy and everything he couldn’t have before. He just wants, so, so much.

14. Are they prone to outbursts (of violence, extreme emotion… exc… )?

Oh yes. Nate tries to keep these away from other people- for angry moments he tends to try and go to somewhere quite and throw rocks- but a lot of the time the emotions just sneak up on him and he overloads.

15. Who do they hate the most?

Shaun. All the things he’s done, all the lives he’s ruined and tortured and enslaved and destroyed. The revolting, toxic arrogance of him, the emotionless, soulless cruelty. And he is Nate’s fault. Nate made him. Nate is never, ever going to breed again.

16. Is there anyone who makes them feel inferior?

Nick, often. Also Preston to some extent. Nate doesn’t mind, he hasn’t got a huge ego and is happy to consider them better people than he is; kinder, more moral, and learn from them.

17. What sound always gives them a headache?

That stupid fucking Civilisation song Travis always plays. It’s a racism pile of shit and Nate hates it. They’d been standing on top of that building, watching the Institute go up in a mushroom cloud, and Nate thought this moment would be perfect… then-

Civilisation, I’ll stay right here!

Fuuuuuuck!

18. Is there a certain flavor that disgusts them?

Nate is not a fan of sweet things. Fruit sweetness is okay, but when it comes to processed sugar or honey it’s just too much for him.

19. Do they consider themselves ugly?

No. Nate likes his appearance for the most part. Yes, he’s very skinny and you love to have better hair, but on the whole he likes his body.

20. Do they consider themselves unloveable?

Well, Nick loves him, and Nick is a much, much better person than Nate could dream of being, one of the best people in the world, so clearly he is worthy of love. And incredibly lucky.

21. What is something that causes them great anxiety?

Before the Institute was destroyed, he was incredibly worried for his friends. Dima and Arcadia, the Railroad, all the friends he has in Sanctuary. Nick. The Institute was hunting them and Nate was deliberately putting himself in their path. He was terrified of what the fallout might be to those he loves.

22. Do they have any mental illnesses?

Yes. Nate has PTSD, a form of anorexia and is on the autistic spectrum.

23. Have they ever been assaulted/abused/raped?

Yes, he can’t remember it, but he can imagine it. Nora smiling at him, asking would you like to and him nodding, mindless as a cow in a field. Yes. Yes. Whatever you want. Tell me who to kill, who to fuck, when to die. Add more pills to get him to-preform, and wash, rinse and repeat until Shaun came. Brrr. What a sick, foul time.

24. Do they fear the possibility of being assaulted/abused/raped?

It’s not a huge fear, but yes, it’s something Nate does live with. There are plenty of foul people in the commonwealth who’d jump at the chance to hurt people any way they could. He’s had a lot of threats shouted at him in firefights- synth fucker, wait till you see what we’ll do to you- but so far, all his would be rapists have had their heads blown off by Apex.

25. Have they ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust?

Mom. Dad. Nate can still remember their eyes, as they walk into the police station. He’s still in that red dress, now tatty and filthy. Tony and cold and terrified. His parents; eyes are cold, his father’s mouth thinned with rage. Dad-

I could shoot you right here. Spat back. Nate’s mouth snapped shut, buckled down and buried himself in his red rags, nodded and agreed to everything his father decided. Yes, I’ll take the pills. Yes, I’ll sign up for the tests. Yes. Yes. Yes. His father’s eyes, murderous with rage. He didn’t know how to say no. Soon enough, he forgot how to. 

26. Have they ever been seriously injured?

A few times, but nothing he hasn’t been able to fix. A few bad falls, a Deathclaw that came too close, too fast. Nate binds himself up, shoots down a few stimpacks, carries on.

27. How many times have they been in the hospital?

Nate has no idea. He went a lot to the medical center in CIT, testing every few months and marking down his slow mental and physical collapse. He probably went to ordinary hospitals too, in the war, after getting shot up and hurt, but he can’t remember them.

28. Is there a certain type of person that disgusts them?

Arrogance. He likes confidence, but when someone is gone to the point of never questioning themselves, never considering they could be wrong or the people they are hurting.

29. Does what they cannot see scare them?

Well, there are a lot of dangerous things in the commonwealth, so not being able to see them would be quite scary. Nate does fear what he cannot remember, he knows they’re bad. He also knows that the only way the is going to heal, in the long term, is to face he remaining memories. He doesn’t want to.

30. Have they ever been bullied?

He was a brilliant, nerdy black kid in a lower class school. Yes, Nate got bullied. It didn’t affect him too much because he had good support from his parents and teachers. It got a lot worse when he got to CIT, where he was a brilliant nerdy black kid in a university of privileged, not quite so smart white people. Nate managed to deal with the worst of it to begin with, but after the pills, after he started to decline- well, he cant remember most of it. That’s a good thing.

31. Do they have self-confidence or self-image issues?

Not so much, he is a little self-conscious about his lack of sexual experience, but for the most part, Nate is comfortable with who he is.

32. Do they have a bad relationship with their parents?

Nate’s parents are dead, so that doesn’t really count. The last he remembers of them was them handing him over to CIT for the pill treatment, so- yeah, it didn’t end well.

33. Have they ever been in a relationship that didn’t work out so well?

There was Nora, but Nate doesn’t know what that relationship was like. She might have been kind to him. She might have been cruel. He wouldn’t have been with her if he’d had any choice in the matter, regardless.

34. Have they ever self harmed?

No, although he does wonder if his struggle with food is a form of self harm, anorexia as a way of asserting control over his own body.

35. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

Not having an eating disorder. It would be such an enormous relief, not to have to plan everything he can eat, judging constantly how much he can manage, trying to stave off the worst of the damage with stimpacks and purified water. It’s exhausting, even before taking into account the endless hunger he lives with.

36. Are they in control of their emotions, or are their emotions in control of them? Nate’s emotions are entirely in control, luckily, most of his emotions are positive. He’s usually exploding with joy and warmth and being friendly, with negative emotions, Nate tries to hide them, but it’s a struggle.

37. Have they ever had their freedom taken away?

Freedom, and free will. For five years.

38. Have they ever been imprisoned?

Only briefly, overnight in a police station, but it was the last time he was really free, too.

39. Have they ever been accused of something they didn’t do?

Not really, no.

40. Do they often blame themselves for other people’s problems?

Not usually, Nate tries to keep his actions in context. If he causes a problem (like the time he accidentally freed a sentry bot) he will fix it. He will fix other people’s problems, but won’t blame himself for them. The one exception is Shaun. Yes, he was a product of the Institute, no, Nate didn’t have any influence over who Shaun became. Nate didn’t even consent to making him in the first place. But Shaun is still his son, and his responsibility. What he did, feels like Nate’s responsibility.

41. Do they get sick often?

Yes. Nate always keeps a stash of antibiotics on hand because he is vulnerable to infections and disease. Luckily, since meeting Curie, she’s been helping him a lot with preventative medicine.

42. Are they comfortable with where they are in life?

Very much. Nate is very happy with his life. He is very, very lucky.

43. Do they wish that they could change their pasts?

He wishes he could go back to his past self, the shattered seventeen year old being dragged down a dark, dark path and tell him- it’s going to be okay. It’ll be horrible for a while, but everything will end soon and the world will be unimaginably better. He’ll be happy again. He just has to hang on, survive, just keep going.

44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?

Read. Nate misses reading. He doesn’t have much time for it now, and the book selection is a lot more limited. Nate would love more books.

45. What is the emotion they most commonly experience?

 Joy. Nate is a pretty happy person, and has a lot of what he needs to be happy. He likes the world. He has skills and abilities that are useful. He does work he enjoys. And best of all, he has friends and lovers to share it all with.

46. Have they ever contemplated suicide?

Not really in that thought about it, when he wanted to die, it was almost impossible to think, but-

47. Have they ever gone so far as to attempt suicide?

Once, maybe a year before the bombs fell. Nate isn’t sure how it happened, but for a moment, he was able to regain some- sense of self. It was so horrible he couldn’t even comprehend it, get his fractured mind around what he had become. He had gone into the washroom, found a bottle of bleach, and drank down as much of it as he could manage. Codsworth found him and called an ambulance.

48. Is there anyone that they would willingly kill?

Oh, lots of people. The Commonwealth is dangerous and a lot of killing is pure self defence. He would happily kill the entire adult contingent of the Institute, though.

49. If [name] was put into ______ situation, they’d rather die than live to see it through.

If he was dragged back to that police station, seventeen again. Nate would grab the policeman’s gun and blow his own head off rather than go through that again.
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(I don’t have a Nate RP blog so let’s just imagine this is one)

Things are well. I wanted to ask your opinion on something. (Nate shifts, looking uncertain). What do you think about- transhumanism? If you could- blur the line between synth and human. Without hurting anyone! Almost no one! No one who isn’t already dead- and deserved it. (in an undertone)

It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a a while and asking Nick is- well, there’s reasons why not. I know the Institute’s views on it but I wouldn’t trust them to tell me the sky was blue. I thought you might be the person to ask. It’s- it’s something that’s becoming increasingly important.
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Just realised that while I did call on Cormac McCarthy’s The Road a lot in my Fallout 4 fics/playthrough, the real inspiration is probably closer to Nick Harkaway’s The Gone Away World. It’s got the same sense of the new world being better than the last. Definitely a recommendation for those who want a funny apocalypse. I’m going to try rereading with nate in mind. I think he’d love it.
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What is your OC’s favorite color?  Nate loves red. He’s not sure why, or even if he needs a reason, but he has a lovely collection of red dresses that he’s very proud of.

Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? Books mostly, and a smaller collection of nice clothes and makeup for special occasions. Nate and Nick are meticulous in saving books in the commonwealth, and they both love to read.

What kind of things is your OC allergic to? Nostalgia ;p not really anything.

What kind of clothing does your OC wear? A red dress, if he can, but when he’s out in the Commonwealth, he wears the Silver Shroud outfit, and a skull gas mask.

What is your OC’s first memory? It’s hard to place his patchwork memories in order, but Nate thinks the earliest one he has is of a Christmas. He remembers the lights, the christmas tree and the presents beneath. He remembers dancing with a woman, or tall girl, standing on her feet as they waltz slowly to Silent Night. He wonders who she was. Mother, aunt, sister?

What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? Nate cements his lack of sanity by liking Deathclaws, although to be fair, they’re not hugely fast, can be seen from far away, and don’t always attack you. He really hates baby mirelurks, they’re really fast and almost impossible to hit until they start jumping at you. 

What element would your OC be? Water. Changable, glittering, and with dangerously deep currents.

What is your OC’s theme song? Bright Eyes, by Bridge and Tunnel. Also Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix.

Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? I posted a picture of Nate before, and his voice is similar to his canon voice, only with a little more Boston accent, and just a hint of Louisiana there from his parents.

What deadly sin would best represent your OC? Wrath. Nate sometimes struggles with his emotions, he has no gears to control them and tends to just have to ride them out. He’s usually a very upbeat person, but his one real vice is his anger. It takes a lot to get him angry, but when he hates you- he has no mercy. He is utterly terrifying.

What are your OC’s hobbies? Reading when he can, if not, he likes making things. He makes weapons and armor out of necessity, but really loves making settlement necessities and luxuries.

How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? Not very patient at all. he doesn’t complain, but tends to get restless if he has to wait for anything, and goes off to do something else, even if it’s just pulling one of his guns apart for cleaning. Nate likes to be busy. As for hot-headed, if you manage to really piss him off, it’s less hot-headed and more trying to stop him going for your throat. 

What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? Gay male human. Mixed white creole/African American for ethnicity.

What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? Ah yes, food. Nate’s favorite food, once upon a time, was his mother’s seafood gumbo. These days, if he can manage it, he actually likes radroach. It actually tastes rather nutty and quite sweet. He will never, ever eat bloatfly, once was quite enough.

If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? He’s very happy with Dogmeat. Dogs are friendly, loyal, incredibly useful and capable of looking after themselves. The perfect animal companion.

What does your OC smell like? Machine oil, cordite, hubflower tea.

How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? Nate has a lot of jobs, like most people in the Commonwealth. He helps out with the Minutemen, runs jobs for the Railroad, and takes the odd detective job with Nick, but in the end, he makes his living scavving. He’s good at it, likes it on the whole and it gives him the material and caps for the things he really loves.

What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? Losing his mind again is the main one, but losing his friends and loved ones is up there too. He’s vulnerable due to his PTSD and other issues, and is very creative and absolutely brilliant.

What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? Old school rock and roll ;) I push the fallout soundtrack to the 1960s, and Nate adores Jimi Hendrix. His favourite song is All Along the Watchtower.

If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? Freak out completely. Eventually calm down and realise he hasn’t gone back in time and this world is not as bad as the one before, but would still very much want to go home. He’d probably find a way home, and if possible stock up on books and music to bring back with him.

What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? His struggles with his PTSD and eating disorder. He’s torn between trying to find out what he can about his past and therefore maybe understand what’s wrong with him and get better- and staying the hell away because whatever is in his memory, it ain’t good.

What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? A complete nerd. A really smart, not very socially skilled kid. It didn’t help that Nate had a lot of puppy fat until he was about fifteen and hit his first serious growth spurt. He was a bit of a bully magnet.

What is a random fact about your OC? He was on the swim team in college, and joined a dance club before going to university.

What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? Determinedly upbeat. The world is getting better, every day. The worst is over and even if things are hard right now, the general slope is going up.

What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? Nate is my Fallout 4 character. I do have a little story featuring him that’s real world/urban fantasy, but right now he’s staying in Fallout. I originally created another character completely for fallout 4, but they didn’t fit at all and slowly, little by little morphed into Nate. I stopped the game, started a new file, and have been laying it over with Nate from the beginning.

Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why?) Definitely Nick. Best friend, boyfriend and general life partner, Nate is completely staggered that he’s manage d to meet someone that amazing. Least is probably Shaun. Nate actually gave up on finding him completely after about a month out of the vault, and only ran into him because he wanted to bring down the institute. Nate shoots him and leaves him to die.

What kind of childhood did your character have? A good one, he thinks. He was bullied a bit but it was fairly low key stuff, and his parents were kind. He can;t rememeber most of the details now, but the overall feel of it was happy.

What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? Nate does need to keep busy, and he wills tart to fiddle with things if he doesn’t have anything to do.It’s a form of stimming, and he finds weapon care particularly nice to help him wind down. He doesn’t take drugs, even down to alcohol.

If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? Nate has no intention of dying (and leave Nick alone?)

Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? Nate might one day get married to Nick. He loves him, but marriage is- uncomfortable. With kids- after Shaun, Nate’s learnt his lesson. He is not father material, and he will never breed again. Synth!Shaun gets adopted by Sturges and Tinker Tom, with Mama Murphy as a grandma and Glory as a scary awesome aunt. Nate is, at best, a somewhat distant older brother.

What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? Ugh. The issue is picking one. There are a lot. Probably opening fire on unarmed civilians in a food riot. Or shooting down protesters from a vertibird. Or holding a family at gunpoint while the army- (Nate curls into a little ball and starts crying) His favourite memory is also a little hard to pick. Meeting Nick. Blowing up the Institute. but maybe the best will always be climbing out of Vault 111, seeing the sky for the first time and knowing down to his bones, that everything is going to be ok.

If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? There isn’t a physical thing Nate wants, but he would give quite a lot to be healed. He loves the world, he wishes he could explore it without fear of panic attacks or starvation.

Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why?  Well, since this is the Commonwealth, usually try and kill him first. If they don’t, then they will need to be a clear and present threat to him or others.

What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? Nate likes to join in with evening songs and stories around the campfire in Sanctuary. He’s got a very good voice and a massive repertoire of songs, so often gets asked to sing. Nate will do that, but he often prefers to take more of a background role as the audience, or just taking his turn int he storytelling.

How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? Nate has a good imagination, and enjoys a bit of escapism in reading, but for the most part he stays here and now. His imagination draws him pictures of new settlements, potential weapons, how the spare parts he has fit together to make something new. He spends little time thinking of the past or the future.

What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? He wants this to continue. He wants his life as it is, right now, to never end. Oh, he doesn’t mind change, that’s inevitable, but he just wants to keep living this life, with variations, for ever. And Nate has plans for that.

What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? Collect boxes of Abraxo Cleaning. he gets shit for that from everyone short of Nick and is getting really sick of explaining that Abraxo Cleaner has acid. Acid goes in to making bullets. Bullets go into guns and keep us alive. Next person who tries to make fun of him is not getting any more bullets ever.

What would your character do with a million dollars? Wipe his arse. LOL. paper money is pretty useless. At least caps are aluminium and therefore pretty damp useful just as raw metal.

What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? Nate doesn’t have a fridge, but he keeps a few eggs and mutifruit in a coldbox next to his house. Books on the floor, and maybe a few items of clothing. The one table in his house has a small shrine to Atom on it. Nate doesn’t throw anything away and would probably re-purpose the garbage can as a lightweight turret.

Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? Most likely the Third Rail, Nate loves Magnolia’s singing. He’s in a nice red dress, heels and has a couple of red tassels hanging off his gun. He’ll be with Nick, of course.

What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? Scream and throw things if he can’t do anything about it, Nate has a hot temper and needs to let off steam. he tries to go somewhere quiet and throw rocks if he can. If there is something he can do- Nate goes very, very cold, becoming frighteningly meticulous. The Institute survivors thought he was a Courser up until the end.

Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from?  Quite a few. This isn’t the easiest life. Nate has a half dozen scars on his face, a lot more on his hands from making things, and a handful across his body. He also has a brand on his cheek in the shape of Atom, and a small tattoo over his heart. It’s a little blue heart, with an arrow in it ;)

What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? Probably a hell of a lot to the Brotherhood and the Institute, but in terms of someone Nate actually gave a damn about- he’s not always the most tactful person and has blundered a few times with Nick. He once made a snide remark as to old Nick Valentine being white, and Nick shot him down pretty hard. Nate was mortified at himself. (old Nick was Korean)

How does your character react/ accept criticism? For the most part, very well. He will consider all criticism, even from people he loathes in case they might be onto something. That doesn’t always help them, thought. (’traitor’ Shaun screams. ‘Yes!” Nate laughs.)

If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? Nate doesn’t mind the flavor, but this is more food than he’d eat in two days. He manages to get the slice down, his brain kicks into overload, his stomach heaves and it all comes out again.

Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? Oh wow! Nate immediately shows it to everyone. It’s a little voodoo doll! He suddenly remembers a visit to his grandmother in New Orleans and seeing these hanging in a little Marie Laveau house. He puts it up beside his bed and likes looking at it.

Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? Not really. He can do blueprints but people and living things are harder. He likes art though, and enjoys watching Preston paint.

What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? they were kind, and supportive. They started his love of reading and music, and a strong social awareness of privilege and oppression. they also betrayed him utterly when he needed them the most, so there’s that too.

Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? No. Nate does not like candy. He thought it was just his general avoidance of pre-war food, but then Curie got a hive of bees and they had honey and it was so sweet he thought the roof of his mouth was going to peel off so- no.

If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? Nate would not give up, he would keep fighting to the end but, if it was clear there was nothing he could do- he would be very calm. He’s already faced the worst thing that could happen to him, and death doesn’t come close. It’s even something of a reassurance, knowing that once it’s over- no one could hurt him again. He’d be sad about leaving his loved ones behind and would try and be there for them, but in the end, he wouldn’t be afraid.
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1. Do you consider yourself average? I think I’d like to be. I’m not, obviously, even if I wasn’t 200+ years out of time most people don’t have the kind of mess I have in my head. But there are some times, usually when I’m with others, friends, or just others in a settlement and we’re all doing something together- or even just our own things, in the same space, and it all just feels… right. like I’m part of some larger whole, not any more important than anyone, just- part of. I love that feeling.

2. Are aliens real? Yes. They are also assholes. What the fuck were they doing on Earth anyway? Was it just some sort of sick horror-tourism? ‘Oh, let’s go and laugh at the stupid earthlings and their irradiated planet?’’ Assholes. Serves them right for crashing.

3. What do you associate with the color green? Do you think of certain emotions or smells? It feels- ambiguous. Maybe I’m just used to the Commonwealth now, where everything is more brown and yellow. I like Far Harbor, and that’s plenty green, but then that’s mixed with grey from the sky and fog. I think if I was ever in a completely green place again, I’d probably feel very uncomfortable, or even have a panic attack. Green is the color of growing things, but it’s also the color of the old world. I’m not sure I want to see that again.

4. Have you ever lost somebody you love? Fortunately no. Everyone I lost are remembered as strangers, or my memories of them are so enmeshed with their betrayal that I can’t say I ‘love’ them any more. I’ve lost people I’ve cared about since coming out of 111, but thankfully no one I’ve loved.

5. Who do you hate the most? Why? *grits teeth* Shaun Brooks. *shuts up, just saying the name’s dredged up a world of white hot, sick emotion that’ll take hours to calm down again*

6. Does anybody hate you? Probably most of the Brotherhood of Steel and the entirety of Institute survivors. Not that there are many. I’ve made sure of that.

7. How many followers do you have? *Nate winces at the choice of words* I don’t have followers. I have friends. I supposed technically I lead the Minutemen, but really that’s Preston’s job and one day I’ll get him to take on that position in name as well as in spirit. I don’t like leading, I’m always afraid we’ll all end up in a ditch.

8. When was the last time you actually felt confident about yourself? Pretty often? Usually when I’m doing something I know I’m good at. Making a sniper shot, building something. Or when I’m dressed up, I got together with Piper and Curie and Hancock after we got our hands on a good stock of prewar cosmetics, afterwards, I felt I could just- take on the entire world and walk away still looking fabulous. Everyone should try it, it’s great.

9. Describe yourself in one sentence. This is good.

10. When was the last time somebody told you they love you? Well, if we’re not counting twenty minutes ago when Dogmeat slobbered all over my dress which I’m sure means doggy love- that would have been Nick, last night. I think he thought I was asleep. He’s self conscious about declarations like that.

11. When was the last time you told somebody you love them? Um, I’m not shy about declarations like that. At all. I think about an hour ago and that already seems like too long. *wanders off to find Nick*

12. Do you have any pets? Lots :) Sturges and I have set up a few cat traps to get Sanctuary a few mousers, and they have been entirely useless since everyone spoils them, myself included. Of course, I also have Dogmeat, but he feels like more of a friend than a pet.

13. Have you changed personality wise since you were a kid? How so? I’m more outgoing, certainly. I used to be more withdrawn before. Something about being an awkward, socially uncertain overweight kid. Yes, overweight. Hard to imagine now, right? I started growing more extroverted as I grew up and hit my growth spurt, and now I’ve stopped caring what people think entirely. No one cares any more, it’s hugely liberating to be able to be yourself entirely, full bore and down to the hilt.

14. Where do you feel safest? With my friends, and Nick in particular, but if we’re talking about a physical place in the world- the Glowing Sea. Which probably is another mark against my being in any way sane to most people but really, think about it. Thanks to the help of some friends at the Nucleus, I’m fairly resistant to radiation. The Glowing Sea is so blasted that absolutely nothing can sneak up on me, which is the biggest risk I face when going out. Finally, anything pre-war has been razed long ago, so in terms of avoiding panic attacks it’s by far the safest place in the Commonwealth.

15. What’s your biggest fear? I still have nightmares about going back- how I was before the war. But that’s impossible since the pills had a one year shelflife so even if someone managed to find any they’d probably just poison me. I suppose it would center around the Institute. So many of my friends and loved ones are synths that I can’t even- consider what would- *Nate breaks off, stares into space for a bit, then quietly walks away to fix a water purifier*

16. Do you consider yourself to be healthy? No. And no one who looks at me is going to think that either. I’d like to be, and maybe as the years go by I’ll find new ways around my food issue, but right now all I can do is try and mitigate the worst of the damage.

17. Have you ever had to see somebody for issues regarding your mental health? Once, and after what happened that time if anyone offered I’d run screaming for the hills. I can theoretically see the benefit, and it would be nice to talk to someone who had a clue about eating disorders and trauma, but if they were running on pre-war studies they’d just get stuck on the whole ‘homosexuality’ thing again, and I haven’t met anyone who’d trying a post war approach to mental health. Then again, I haven’t looked. I wonder if someone at the Nucleus could combine spiritual and mental health support?

18. Do you love yourself? Why or why not? I think so. I’m a pretty good person, I think. Hell, if Nick loves me I must be doing something right, and even when I’m doing something less than moral, it’s nothing I can’t look myself in the mirror for afterwards.

19. Do you like school? What elements of school do you like which ones do you not? I went to a pretty poor school. It’s still standing, actually, you might know it. It’s the one with the pink ghouls. No, they hadn’t rolled out the pink paste initiative when I went there, but there were other, equally stupid ways of raising money. 

I remember one time our maths textbooks were sponsored by Nuka Cola, so all the problems were variations on ‘how much delicious bubbling Nuka Cola Cherry™ would it take to fill a 20x60x5 swimming pool?’ or ‘if happy, satisfied Nuka Cola delivery worker Jim unloads 24 crates of tasty new refreshing Nuka Cola Quantum every four and a half hours, how long would it take him to unload 100 crates before his slipped disc goes and he discovers he doesn’t have health insurance?’ Okay, I added the last bit but come on. There’s a reason I only drink Vim. 

Luckily, that school seemed to be a dumping ground for teachers too kind and talented or incorruptible to be hired anywhere else in that hellscape, so yeah, they were really great and the main reason I got into CIT to begin with.

20. Do you have any strange seemingly useless talents? Literary criticism. Entirely useless, but the Nucleus has a small library and Ware, Devin and I have been setting up a sort of book club. It’s nice to have some people to discuss the symbolism of birds in post apocalyptic fiction who won’t just laugh at me or give me weird looks. Nick plays along but I know he thinks my taste in books is strange. He likes talking about sci-fi and crime fiction though, so that’s fun.

21. Do you understand yourself? It’s a little hard to understand myself when so much of my memory is missing. I can usually piece things together for inference, and a lot of what I’ve lost is not something I want to remember, but there are some things that are still a huge question mark in my life. Such as why I can’t eat more than two bites or so of solid food. Or why the first time I got into a Vertibird I nearly threw myself out while it was airborn- and would have, if Nick hadn’t grabbed the back of my coat. Or why I nearly drank an old bottle of bleach I found at the back of my old house in Sanctuary- and then spent the rest of the night tearing that place to pieces. There are a lot of reactions I have, entire parts of myself, that I just don’t have the context to understand.

22. How much did you sleep last night? About ten hours? I can’t afford skimp on any other vital living processes so sleep is a priority.

23. Are you taking care of yourself? It’s an ongoing job. Luckily, I have support. Curie helps me plan out balanced meals around what I can eat so I at least don’t suffer malnutrition on top of basically starving. As I said above, I try and make up for food with plenty of water and sleep.

24. What do you regret? I- I can’t regret. Nothing pre-war. Even going to that club. It would just have been prolonging the inevitable anyway, and even if I wasn’t caught- what would have happened to me then? I was at CIT. You know, the Institute. Either I’d have been murdered or I’d have become as morally bankrupt as the rest of them. It was a horrible path to walk and I’ll be paying for it for the rest of my life but at the end of the day I’m here. I’m alive and more or less in one piece and I’m living a life I could never have dreamed of before. I wouldn’t change anything if it means there’s a chance I wouldn’t be here now. This is good.
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who is more likely to hurt the other?

Probably Nate directly, he can be a bit insensitive at times, and can blunder well meaning into emotional minefields. Nick more indirectly, his disregard for himself is painful to watch, and it hurts Nate for than anything in this new world.

who is emotionally stronger?

They are both very emotionally strong people. I think it would depend on what pressures would be put on them. Nate can withstand pain probably better than Nick, and can hold out better against torments directed at him. However, he wouldn’t be able to hold out against attacks to the people he loves. If someone threatened to hurt Nick, Nate would crumple completely, whereas Nick would be able to hold out.

who is physically stronger?

Oh Nick, definitely. Nate is actually pretty frail, due to his problems with food. Nick is still pretty sturdy, despite his age, and after he allows Nate to do a bit of maintenance, is much stronger than most humans.

who is more likely to break a bone? 

Nate. He does his best to keep his body in the best health he can, but in the end he’s still struggling to survive on starvation rations. However much milk he managed to keep down, he’s very aware he’s one bad fall away from a lot of broken bones.

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

Oh Atom, that would be ugly. It’s hard to say, they are both so aware of each other’s pasts that it’s quite frightening how much damage they could do. Probably Nick, if it came down to it, but there is no other way they could hurt each other so much, even if they drew guns and opened fire. It would be the biggest, most unforgivable betrayal.

who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? 

Nate, most likely. He’s more used to it since he’s pretty often making blunders. Nick is a little more reluctant, as he’s a bit less ready to admit immediate fault, but he certainly will apologise, and make more of a deal of it than Nate. 

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

Usually Nate, actually. Nate’s own injuries tend to be easier to treat, a quick bandage and a stimpack is enough, and often he’s finished treating himself by the time Nick reaches him after a fight. Nick can’t always use stimpacks though, if the damage is more than skin deep, and sometimes needs help patching up hard to reach wires and bent metal struts.

who is in constant need of comfort? 

Nate, though he certainly isn’t a slouch in returning the favor. Nate’s needs are more obvious though, since he’s pretty useless in hiding his emotions. He’s fairly easy to look after, however, and Nick is getting pretty good at pre-empting what he needs, and dealing with any flashbacks or bad nights. Nick is more private, has issues that are less flashfire than Nate’s, but slow burning and constant. And a lot of things that Nate does- giving flowers, constant praise and declarations of love and just being an endless romantic- help him in return.

who gets more jealous? 

Nate. Nick does feel jealous at times, but Nate is pretty obvious in how he feels about him and it’s very hard to feel too insecure when you’re being given posies of flowers and having your boyfriend telling you pretty much daily how much he loves you. But Nick- has more of a past than Nate, and maybe a part of why Nate wants Nick to leave his human memories behind is that he’s sick of competing with the ghost of Jenny Lands. Nick is also a bit of a flirt, and Nate has a particularly withering death glare for when that happens. Irma still hasn’t looked him in the eye since.

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

It’s not really something that either of them do. Nate usually want to talk out an argument, and while Nick might shut that down if it’s just going to make things worst, he’s more likely to light up a cigarette as a pretext not to talk, and take a few minutes to sort out his thoughts and for both of them to calm down before trying to patch things up.

who will propose? 

Probably Nick, but that’ll take some time. Nate would want to, but after the trainwreck of his last wedding, he would wrestle with the conflicting urge to make that traditional gesture, or to let that last gasp of the old world to die with the rest. Nick would have to overcome his own self doubt substantially in order to do this, and then try and think of a way of proposing, and a marriage in general, that would suit them both and not feel like a farce to himself, or a re-tread of the worst time in his life for Nate.

who has the most difficult parents?

Well, Nate’s are dead, and Nick can’t even remember human Nick’s, so by default that would leave the Institute so- yes. Nick. Holy fuck.

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

Nate, although Nick is becoming more and more comfortable in initiating it when they’re in friendly company (Goodneighbour, Sanctuary, or Arcadia). Nate doesn’t care and will happily take Nick’s hand (or kiss, or hug, or-) on the Prydwen. Because fuck you Brotherhood of steel.

who comes up for the other all the time? 

Not entirely sure what that mean? Both of them, probably, they’re attentive and care deeply for each other.

who hogs the blankets? 

It doesn’t really happen since Nate is the only one to need blankets, and if he’s cold, he’ll happily latch on to Nick like a limpet, since Nick basically radiates heat from his various processors.

who gets more sad? 

This can be hard since they are both prey to intense emotions, but in different ways. Nate tends to get hit by emotions as sudden and overwhelming as storms, which leave him completely prostrate, but pass in a short period of time and he can waver back to his own, rather happier self in a few hours. Nick’s are deeper, and much harder to shake. Something he carries inside him for days or even weeks. It’s the worst time, and in those times Nate wants nothing more than to reach inside Nick and pull out whatever sick, festering thing in inside Nick’s head.

who is better at cheering the other up? 

Nick. He’s very good at turning Nate’s mind away from whatever horrible thought or memory he’s caught up in, and getting him stable and on an upward keel. Nate feels utterly useless, when Nick is in a black mood. Can only try and distract him, keep him occupied with cases, and try and assure him that Nate loves him and cares for him and will always, always be there. It feels completely pointless, and Nick wishes he could tell Nate just how valuable these things are to him, and how much good it does him.

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

Oh wow, if they did that they would never, ever stop. Nick is constantly making deadpan remarks or just general snark, and Nate is always ready with some weird pre-war reference or literary joke. I’d say whatever poor person is stuck with them is liable to lose it and just slab both of them silly. Piper and Cait have been driven to this more than once. Preston just looks around helplessly and wishes he were somewhere else. Dogmeat whines in embarassment. Curie tries to join in which just makes it worse.

who is more streetwise?

Nick. He’s been around more, he knows the Commonwealth. Nate is also rather more naive generally, which Nick loves, but does have to watch out for in case Nate gets caught up in something ugly like the Brotherhood of Steel Nate, really what were you thinking?

who is more wise?

Both of them, but in different ways. They are both rather thoughtful people on the whole, Nick is more practical, but Nate tends to have some very good insights as to people’s motivations and some views that Nick might not have considered.

who’s the shyest? 

Neither of them are exactly shy, but Nate is definitely more outgoing and open. Nick is personable, but usually finds himself taking a more background role, smiling as Nate chats and puts himself around enthusiastically.

who boasts about the other more? 

Nate. If you get him started He. Will. Not. Shut. Up. To the point Nick really wishes he would. Nate has a few topics he can talk about for hours, but at least he warns people first before going into a spiel about Atom. With Nick, it’ll be all ‘Nick is awesome Nick is so brave Nick is so brilliant’ for as long as it takes for whoever it is to run away. 

Nick is a bit more controlled, but when he and Nate are out together, particularly if Nate is all dolled up in is red dress and heels and maybe a bit of makeup, Nick isn’t above glancing around smugly to see if anyone is looking. My boyfriend. Mine.

who sits on who’s lap?

Nate. He will happily hop into Nick’s lap on any pretext. He loves being close to him, loves having Nick’s arms around him. The best place in the world. Nick put up a token protest to begin with, but has long since given up. Its just too good. Nate warm and happy in his arms, curling up surprisingly small. His hair in Nick’s nose, the feel of his eyelashes fluttering against the exposed wires in his neck. Perfect.
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The party is just about over, but there is still time left! How does your Sole like to finish off a party? Do they go home early or do they like to sit around with a few friends and chat? Do they help clean up?

Nate is dropping at about this point, he tends not to stay up that late and he’s probably already dozed off at some point. He’s determined to stick it out, however, and is helping to pack away the worst of the damage before he nearly falls face first into a box of broken glass. Nick firmly leads him off to bed.
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Your Sole is now stuck in a game of spin the bottle. How do they react?

“This looks fun,” Nate sits down, smiling. “How do we play?”

He watches a few people take dares and finally it lands on him.

“Take a drink!”

“No.”

“One shot of Jet!”

“Fuck no.”

“Kiss Cait!”

Nate walks off. This was a stupid game.
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How is your Sole Survivor on the dance floor? Do they prefer to dance with a partner or alone? What kind of music do they dance to?

Oh, Nate loves to dance. He’s not a bad dancer at all. His parents taught him a lot of dances and while Nate’s memory of this is at best erratic, his body remembers. 

He can waltz, foxtrot and swing with the best of them, and can even knock out a decent Charleston. These are all partner dances, and Nick makes for a wonderful partner. He usually leads. 

Nate likes ‘I’m the one you’re looking for’ for slow dances, ‘Nobody here but us chickens’ for faster ones. He would love to swing dance to ‘Voodoo Child’, but alas he’s not found a good holotape of Jimi Hendrix. Fucking pre-war blacklist.

Sole Party Day 5:  Does your Sole Survivor have any crazy party stories from parties before the war? Let’s hear them.

Nate doesn’t tell stories about pre-war, unless they are the more harrowing, sick horror stories. He doesn’t want people to think that there was anything back then worth resurrecting. 

He just says he went to one party, and was arrested and handed over to the entity that became the Institute who fucked him up so badly he can’t remember the following five years. Hancock looked pretty horrified by the idea. Nick just looked at him, but said nothing. Everyone else decided post-war was the only place to have a good time, which is exactly what Nate wanted.
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How is your Sole Survivor at a party? Do they like being around people or are they scared of crowds? Where would they spend most of their time?

Nate does like being around people, although he’s not a big fan of the sort of party where there’s loud music all the time. He’d like to stay with a large group of others, chatting, going from topic to topic with no real aim. Not being the center of attention, but just part of the larger whole. Belonging. Fitting in with the people around him to make up a happy, complete whole. 

If there is music, he’d prefer it if it wasn’t too loud, but would also take a turn or two dancing, particularly if Nick is there.
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Another chapter of my Fallout 4 fic.

Nick has issues. Nate is an idiot. Nick shouts a bit. Nate is sorry. Nate tries something else.

Nick’s existential crisis, Nate’s attempts to make it better, and various failures thereof. Dedicated to #dma-dima who asked how my Nate would meet with Dima.
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1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid?

The pills. Admittedly it seems like CIT shelved that project after his disastrous result, but it’s still there. The fear. It lives under his skin and even now, when the pills have rotten to nothing he’s still afraid. 

2. Does your character have a deep and/or dark secret? If so, what is it?

One, but it’s a strange one. Nate saw Preston painting a picture once, of John Parker, once the Captain of the original Minutemen. He’d painted him with dark brown skin, an orbit of hair like a cloud around his head. Preston smiled and tried to hide it when he saw Nate “I didn’t know what he looked like, so I just guessed-”

“You got it right.” Nate says, with absolute certainty. “Completely right.” Preston stared, Nate smiled. “It’s perfect, Preston. This is absolutely him. We’ll put it up by the gate to Sanctuary. I’ll make a glass cover for it.”

In a strange way, this world is innocent. He’ll not have it corrupted. Let them believe Black and White related to political opinions, and drop race and sexuality and gender into oblivion.

3. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them?

Thankfully no. Nate’s loved ones are all with him now. Maybe he lost loved ones in the war, but then he doesn’t remember.

4. Has your character ever been hurt or betrayed by someone they thought they could depend on? What happened?

By his parents. Nate was seventeen when he was arrested, his parents were called. They were given two options, either Nate would go to jail, or they could sign him up for experimental treatment for his homosexual condition. Nate’s father was very influential in the black community, couldn’t bear what jail would mean to his influence, and pushed Nate to take the pills. They were good parents, kind and supportive and loving, but Nate can’t remember them without shuddering. In the end, he’d meant less that politics to them. He has no memory of them after that final moment.

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves?

Not really, no. Nate tends to deal with his own problems. Unless the person he’s just met is a raider who’s trying to kill him, and he has to turn on them in self defense.

6. Have they ever committed a crime, or something they felt was wrong? What was it?

In terms of doing something he thought was wrong, no. As for a crime, yes. Being gay. 

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why?

Prior to visiting the Institute- the director of the Institute. Post visiting the institute- the director of the Institute. After blowing up the Institute- no one really. He has no enemies and no fear of anyone.

8. Does your character have any enemies? If so, who and why?

Few that know about it. Usually the first his enemies know that he is their enemy is when Nate pulls out Apex and opens fire. Usually as their home, family, hopes and dreams goes up in flame around them. Nate has little mercy for his enemies. Luckily, it’s very, very hard to make yourself his enemy.

9. Is the character a victim of abuse?

As ever- not that he knows. His childhood was happy, he’s pretty sure of it. His marriage could have been non-stop beatings but he has only one memory of it, and that is the last morning before the bombs fells. Everything else is gone. 

10. What were the character’s parents like? What was the affect the parents had on the character?

They were kind, and loving. Nate’s memories are patchwork but he can remember his mother’s cooking, and still gets vague cravings for jambalaya. He remembers her teaching him to cook, but the recipes are gone. His father shared his banned and suppressed music. They loved him, and they still, when it all came down to it, betrayed him utterly.

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms?

Nate stays with his friends, just being near them helps. It’s like the world pressing in on him is just a little further away, kept at bay. It doesn’t help when things get really bad, but it keeps away the smaller, insidious reminders and triggers.

12. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

Neither. Nate doesn’t like pain unless it’s in the bedroom, and takes no pleasure in others’ pain either. He’s had quite enough of pain in his life, and watching others hurt is just… sickening.

13. What does it take to make your character cry?

Helplessness. Seeing someone he loves hurt and being able to do nothing about it. Knowing people are being hurt and being able to do nothing about it. Being hurt, and being able to do nothing about it. Nate has been helpless enough.

14. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before.

Nate never had a real relationship before Nick Valentine, but the one thing that has hurt them in the past is Nate being tactless. He isn’t- wrong about things, but he puts them across so bluntly and without much attention to what others- and what the people he loves- might think, that it backfires more often than not.

15. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Losing himself again. It doesn’t matter if it’s the pills, some new form of mind control or- whatever. Even down to taking drugs like Jet or Psycho or even alcohol. Nate gets a lot jumpier if he thinks those options are on the table, more easily triggered, more terrified, usually he tries to get away from the situation, find somewhere safe to calm down with his friends.

16. What are your character’s vices and bad habits?

Nate doesn’t have many. Sex is the main one, but between him and Nick, it rarely gets in the way of anything important. Anger is another, but that is even rarely, it takes a lot to make Nate really angry, but if that happens, he can get almost myopic in his need for revenge.

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not?

Not at all. He’s seen how bad things can get, in comparison to the pills, death is fine. It’s not something he wants, and he doesn’t believe there’s anything after death, but it sounds peaceful, and at least then, nothing bad can ever happen to him again.

18. Would society call your character a good guy or a bad guy? what would they say they are?

Nate, on the whole, is a good guy. Certainly more people would consider him a force for good in the Commonwealth than bad. Nate doesn’t think about being a good or bad person, but good or bad actions. He thinks he’s weighted more towards good than bad, thus far.

19. What is your character insecure about?

He has done some terrible things. It doesn’t matter that he wasn’t in his right mind at the time, or that everyone is now long, long dead. he still did them. He’s also lost five years to that nightmare, and does feel as though he’s still trying to catch up to his own adulthood.

20.  What was something they struggled with greatly and how did they overcome it?

Nate’s main issue, day to day, is not dying. It’s not just an issue of people or creatures trying to kill him, but also of his own mind. The panic attacks are bad enough but the real drain is staying alive in a mind and body that refuses, point blank, to eat. Nate still struggles with his eating disorder, he has managed ‘cheats’ and workarounds that allow him to manage to survive, but it’s still a long, hard road to walk.

21. Does your character have anyone that they really care about, to the point that they would give their life for them? If so, who are they and what is your character’s relation to them? If not, do they wish they did? Is there anyone they wish they could build such a relationship with?

Um, quite a lot of people. Nick of course, but also Piper, Preston, Curie, Cait and Dima. Probably more. Most of them would do the same for him. Nate is very lucky, and so are they.

22. If they could change just one thing about themselves, what would it be?

Nate wants to make the whole of his pre-war life to have not happened. He just wants it to- go away. The only way that would happen would for him to secretly have been a synth since Vault 111, and since that would mean living forever, having a solid excuse to never go near the Institute and being able to write off Shaun as nothing to do with him- um, what was the downside again?

23. Is your character more physically or emotionally strong? Why is this?

Emotionally, definitely. Nate isn’t very strong physically, he’s quite frail. Emotionally- it varies, Nate wavers between being pretty tough, to crumbling into panic depending on the situation.

24. What is your character’s most important possession? Why?

Probably his gun. Nate used to be an excellent engineer, before the war, before the pills. He lost that after the drugs, and the first time he felt he had it again was in making Apex. It was the first time Nate had made something- perfect, something that was the best it could possibly be. Apex.

25. Do they find that they care what others think of them? Or do they not really mind how others view them?

Very, very little. Sometimes he likes dressing up and seeing if people are checking him out, but even if they aren’t, he doesn’t feel too bothered.

26. What, in your character’s life, puts the most pressure on them?

In one way or another, Shaun. At first, it was duty, and responsibility. Shaun was a child and vulnerable, and Nate was the only one who could help him. Later, it was still Shaun, but then it was to stop him and end his terror in the commonwealth.

27.  What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion?

The pills are gone, so that fate won’t fall on Nate again. The one thing worse, however, would be to watch it happen to the people he loves. In the end, that is Nate’s worst nightmare. To be killed, and know that the people he loves- Nick, Curies, Dima, Arcadia and the Railroad, would be- oh Atom, Nate can’t even think it. The Institute. He has to destroy them, and make that end forever fantasy. The last gasp of the Old World. he won’t let it take he loved ones.

28. What is your character’s greatest strength?

His creativity and focus. Nate can look at a situation, evaluate every factor, and create an solution. He’s very good at seeing the third option to every Catch 22.

29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most?

Apex, his combat rifle. He can fight almost any battle with it, it makes every shot perfectly, and is quick and precise. He is pretty much useless with most melee weapon, but nothing so much as Super-sledges. He can’t even lift the fucking thing, what d‘you expect him to do.

30. What makes them feel safe or secure? What makes them feel insecure or unsafe?

Safe places, safe people. Places he knows, and where he knows he doesn’t have to worry about triggers. People he loves and feels safe with. People he can trust and rely on. 

Nate gets more and more insecure the closer the world starts to resemble the one he thought gone forever. The Brotherhood of Steel called him ‘soldier’ and he flinches. Fragments of the old world push through the ruins and go off like landmines in Nate’s mind. The Institute, a hermetically sealed time capsule, and Nate screams and screams and screams.

June 2017

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