skull_bearer | Well, at least that's over for this year...

Which is one of the only good things going on at the moment. Every year I run into something that screws up my life majorly.

14- Multipell personality disorder, took me three years to get over that.

15- Got tangled up in brambles and totally lost while hillwalking in the south of France, as no one knew where I was and I was running out of water, this was dangerous. Finally got free and walked back to my aunts house looking like I'd been attacked my Hannibal Lecter.

16- Spent the night in the Sahara desert. I really pissed off the spirits dwelling there with my macho 'I can survive this!' view. Did dare sleep until I got back to England.

17- Use hair dye for the first time, face swells up. Spend three days looking like the Elephant man.

18- Mother tries to commit suicide, manage to stop anyone else having a nervous breakdown. Mum goes into help home for depressed people. Soon gets better.

19- Finally face the truth that Yves (my father) isn't really my emotional parent. My real Dad is my old stepfather, a guy called Reg. Finally worked out why I keep wanting to burst into tears when I call him. Will meet him tomorrow and hash everything out. He's a great guy and I hope things will go okay.

I sould start calling Dad 'Yves', since that's his real name and in truth I see him more as an uncle than a father. No father would put me down as he has so many time. You be the judge:

Your fifteen year old daughter has just taken up karate, she's very excited about it and has enjoyed it immensely. She spends the evening chatting about how much fun it was, do you say;

a) "Hmm, sound like you had a lot of fun," and talk to her about it.

b) "Oh, you know you'll never be good at it. Only people who've practiced since they were very young can reach the highest daans."

Gress which one my ever-supportive father said! Unsurprisingly, I never went back to karate.

Mum's depressed again but it's not as bad as last time.

So with a bit of luck that's it for my nineteeth year. Mum's hinted more than once that what I might need is a holiday. I'm thinking of a walking tour on either the Inca trail or the Great wall of China. I want to go somewhere wonderful. I even had a dream about walking the Inca trail.

Blah, I'm too tired to be upset or happy or worried or anything. I spent the last few hours sobbing like a maniac and now feel like curling up somewhere and falling asleep.

Skull Bearer.