Hmmm... I like this ending much better! Not as desperate and dramatic as the old version, but much more satisfying. It's better to see them together, not Dalamar walking off (even if that was an understandable reaction). Unfortunately, I fear this won't be the last time we hear of the lich... (If he keeps interrupting sex scenes, I'll personally come and kill him.)

If you don't mind my mentioning it, there is a double 'they /they/' in the middle and you have used roughly the same sentence (about Raistlin's feeling sick) twice, in different paragraphs (rather at the ending).