Oh dear...

[skull_bearer]

Have finished HP 6. Am going to drown self in river.

 

Okay, so maybe it's not that bad (plus, there's no river nearby), but gods, my the end of it I was feeling totally cheated. Let's face it, I wasn't expecting anything stellar, JKR's trying to mold a kids story to fit an adult story line and it is not working.

Still I would never have thought things had gotten this bad.

First, my pet hate, romance. Okay, the Ron/Hermione thing has been shoved in our faces so often it's almost a relief when they stop beating around the bush and get together, but Harry/Ginny? When the hell did that happen? I mean, surely in the last book there could have been a little slip like "Harry spotted Ginny and wondered when she had gotten so tall/pretty/curvy/etc." Instead, all of a sudden he falls in love with her and the reader is just .... Right... Who was Cho again?

And Remus/TONKS??? What the hell? Since when? I can allow no foreshadowing of the teenage romance, hey, they're kids. But come on. For the last book and the half of this one neither Remus or Tonks showed any interest in each other and the only idea I have is that the romance is there for the same reason the Batman romance was there, to prove that the guy wasn't gay.

I'm expecting howls of anguish from the Puppyshippers out there. As a closet fan of Sirius/Remus, my heart goes with you.

Other picks.

The cuts, or lack of. This book dragged on longer than the wait at a London rail station. On the weekend. Come on, they could have cut so much out of there. I'm sure JKR wants to get as much of her great world in as possible, but come on. It's as long as the last one and even more dull. There were great chapters, the first two bombed and Aragog's funeral was great JKR, but the rest... Dear Ms Rowling, you need some new editors.

Precitability, I knew Dumbledore was going to die. Mentors always die. Zaknafein, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you name it. The only one I know that didn't die was from the Matrix.

And the biggest, most hauting disappointment that almost moved me to tears:

Snape. WTF??? She goes around for the last five books trying to prove that Snape's a good guy and adding some depth to the books in having an anti-hero, then BOOM! Oops, Dumbly was wrong Snape is a major bad guy and probably shagging Voldemort into the bargain. I really hope this is a trick to be explained in the next book because if not I will be MAJORLY PISSED OFF.

Oh yeah, and the whole Half-blood Prince thing. That was unpleasently reminicent of 'Signs'. A huge long build-up that falls flat on it's face. As above, I hope this will be explained in the next book.

The complete lack of any kind of Voldemort sympathy. It's almost as though he was born bad. Come on! Not even Raistlin Majere was born evil! Give the guy some consideration or at least a really angsty background.

One good point, Draco Malfoy has been halfway redeemed, but I will never forgive JKR for screwing up that wonderful chance of showing Slytherin depth through Blaise Zabini. Nope, never mind the chance to show a Slytherin as a decent human being, he must be evil, like the rest of his house.

I feel like I'm reading an unholy mixture of the first HP book and 'A song of Ice and Fire' (a book series my friend Olga has leant me that is fiendishly complicated and very well written).

I found it very hard to read, it swung from an adult style to that of a child so fast I got dizzy.

Harry's total lack of grief over Sirius's death.

Harry's return to 'zero-emotion Harry' after the OotP 'Cap-locks'.

Fleur. Ugh. I renamed that Chapter 'Attack of the 'Sues', her and Tonks in the same scene? That's.... unholy...

The few things I liked:

Luna commentating at the Quidditch match. Hilarious.

The new potions teacher (Snape finally got the DADA job), although naturally he's not so nice because he was, of course a Slytherin. *sigh*

Malfoy finally getting the one up, some limelight and, eventually, a bit of a conscience.

Ambiguous feelings about the whole Horcruxes thing. With a bit of luck (and I'd really need a dose of Felix Felicis for that) it could be hammered out into a pretty decent story for the next book, on the other hand... Hey, binding your soul into inanimate objects? Been there, done that, got the pensieve...

The lack of Grawp. Thank the Darkstars...

I'm really beginning to dislike the lack of forshadowing. The undead? Not mentioned until this book because Oops! That's when they appear! The werewolves? Same.

I'm now only reading it to keep up with the fanfiction, but after this I think even the great Sushi herself will be in tears upon seeing the kind of material she'll have to work with. Bye-bye Snarry fics... Just when I was starting to like them...

Maybe I should do as I once did with Dragonlance and work out the canon from the fanfics. I know I will not be re-reading HBP for a long time.

Still, the midnight wait was fun. Met loads of people and got dragged in to do four interviews. I'll be watching 'This Morning on ITV1 on Monday to see me and Olga. Got an inteview with Muggle.net too, but I don't think the'll publish the confessions of a Death Eater lover and Harry/Voldemort slasher...

All in all. A pile of garbage. Stick to the fanfiction.

 

Skull Bearer.

Comments

HBP - from candledot

[(Anonymous)]

WTF is right.

There was so much promise with this concept - I had wagered, early early in the book, that is was indeed, my beloved Severus. This whole book was so steriotypical!!!!!!!!

ANd honestly, i was howlling with rage (and greif) when it was Sev who murdered Dumbledore. the death of any chance of true redemption in Severus was a crushing blow.

Who would have guessed, three 11 year olds were so much smarter than the entire staff of the school to know 5 years before he actually came out and did it that Snape really was " all bad". (and Draco, too!) Wow, so realistic!
What are we teaching the kids by letting them know that they SHOULD judge a book by it's cover? The whole storyline feels contrived and cliche.
Zombies? Wow - orginal. Actually, Lame and, once again, steriotypical (i think we were also not surprised to see the introduction of vampires in this book either - yawn.)

There are so many LOTR references in this book i lost count - the magic doorway in the cave? The "I must go it alone" concept of Harrys... The whole " purity of heart" crap - and then, in true Hobbit fashion, Rona nd Hermione telling Harry " We choo-choo-choose to go with you, you can't leave us behind." Harry needs to put on his invisibility cloak and see if Samwise (erm, sorry, Ron) follows him or not.
Oh yeah - and what's with PROSAIC!Dumbledore -

After watching his Godfather die, and being partly responsible for it, why doesn't Harry display any of the signs of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome? ???????? ??????

So all in all, i will return to the safety of Fanfic, where i can choose my ship, my angst level, and my endings. Maybe i will stopp so low as to just write and read my own, where i am guaranteed the ending i desire.
So, i agree with you completely. And who even cares about Tonks/Remus?