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ladykeane:

jkl-fff:

ladykeane:

I’m sorry, I just keep on thinking about a Jeeves and Wooster modern AU and I need to share my feelings soooooooo…..

The millennial Drones would all have their livelihood/passions/income revolve around social media, since that’s the modern equivalent of the no-good-lazy-spoiled-kids-who-won’t-get-a-proper-job-like-their-parents trope. Like, Gussie Fink-Nottle has an instagram, tumblr and facebook account for every single one of his newts, Tuppy Glossop’s a food blogger etc. Gentlemens’ clubs aren’t really a thing for the younger set, so their meeting place is a pub NAMED The Drones, where they socialise and loaf about, sharing selfies and memes and other no-good-lazy-millenial stuff.

Bertie would be big on Youtube and Vine, known for quirky music, comedy and anecdotes, sort of a mix of Phil Lester and Jon Cozart. He’d perform the ludicrous pop songs of today as well as musical theatre - not only Lin-Manuel Miranda and Disney tunes but WELL LEGIT Gershwin and Berlin and`Porter. His friends would all ask him to sing Rat Pack standards at their weddings which he gladly does pro bono.

Jeeves would have gotten himself a scholarship to Cambridge (reading law and philosophy) and wound up as a solicitor, since his calling is basically solving other peoples’ problems and disputes. He would earn himself a reputation as the best of the best and be sought after by peers of the realm and CEOs of large companies for Delicate Matters. Unlike Bertie, who takes to this era like a thingummy to water, Jeeves is still something of an anachronism: impeccable old-fashioned manners, formal speech for all occasions (he even calls the cashier at Pret-A-Manger ‘madam’), and never goes out in public without wearing a button-up shirt & necktie. He has typical Generation Xer stand-offish cynicism, deftly packaged in dapper-as-fuck tactfulness.

I can imagine Bertie, having just gotten over his breakup with Ginger (the cad left him for Magnolia), would meet Jeeves whilst house-sitting for one of the Drones in some fashionable Zone 1 / 2 neighborhood (say Chelsea or Fulham). Jeeves has the flat across the hall and Bertie runs into him while trying to take out the rubbish bins (and failing). Jeeves, of course, effortlessly sets everything to rights, and perceiving how clueless Bertie is in day-to-day maintenance of a household, comes over every day to assist him (and not because Bertie is the most adorable wide-eyed cherub of a twink he’s ever seen - perish the thought!)

As Bertie is a magnet for drama, the neighbours in the building and his fellow Drones inevitably fall upon him with all of their problems - some involving romance, but others involving compromising photos going viral, public gaffes where politically incorrect remarks are uttered, etc. Jeeves and Bertie schlep around modern-day London having light-hearted adventures solving all of these problems. Bertie regales his subscribers with the stories of these adventures, going on and on about how wonderful Jeeves is. In the general on-line community, comparisons are drawn between Bertie’s vlog and the blog belong to the boyfriend of that ‘Hat Detective’ on Baker St.

When the time comes for Bertie to leave the flat he was caretaking, he coyly asks Jeeves if he would take Bertie on as a client at his practice. Jeeves refuses, stating that his principles forbid him to date anyone he’s professionally involved with. It takes Bertie half a day to figure out that Jeeves has asked him out.

From there it’s fluff and music and roses and bickering. They get their flat together in Mayfair and Jeeves feels no reserve about scolding Bertie for leaving bath towels on the floor and dirty dishes in the sink. His sweet otherwordly Bertram is a slovenly man-child who he manages to train. Somewhat. Eventually a kitten is adopted because REG HE’S SO CUTE HE FOLLOWED ME HOME LOOK AT HIS LITTLE FACE CAN WE GO DOWN TO BATTERSEA AND GET HIM A PLAYMATE OH PLEEEEASE I’LL PROMISE TO CLEAN THE LITTER TRAY AND GIVE YOU HEAD WHENEVER YOU WANT IT

Also he once tried to convince Jeeves to come with him to the Brinkley Court Halloween Party dressed in drag as Elphaba and Glinda, but Jeeves “mixed up “ the order to the online costume shop, so they went in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff robes instead.

They spend rainy weekends playing the piano and cooking and exchanging bants and bargaining about fashion choices and having fantastic sex. To their friends they are ‘Bertie and Reg’ and they are like, omigod, the cutest couple eveerrrr, ikr

Aunt Dahlia is the P-Flag auntie, having been the first person that Bertie came out to. She has always hoped that her young blot will find a good man who can keep him in check (Jeeves is heaven sent to her), while Agatha is the homophbic aunt.

AGATHA: Bertie. You must marry and have children.

BERTIE: For the thousandth time, Aunt Agatha, I’m gay. As much as you wish otherwise, that Lord Arran fellow assured the Empire’s assent of my sexual orientation while you were still in knee socks and fawning over Cliff Richard.

AGATHA: It is a childish phase. It will pass once I find a woman of good breeding who can mould you.

BERTIE: Aunt Agatha–

AGATHA: Mould. You.

She lives in Belgravia and despises smartphones.

Thankfully the 21st Century edition of The Code of The Woosters impels Bertie to tell any prospective female that being affianced to him is inadvisable for multiple reasons.

Also Lady Florence is an SJW hipster and political lesbian who lives in Shoreditch with her girlfriend Honoria. She takes every opportunity to criticise Bertie for drinking sugary Starbucks lattes and wearing T shirts with licensed cartoon characters on them. Bertie often wonders why the hell he’s friends with her.

Bertie’s other queer friends are Bingo (the ultimate panromantic), Catsmeat (just your average theatre geek with a libido the size of Soho) and cousin Eustace (not so much a friend as a tagalong, always getting suspended for hitting on his professors). They sometimes go to G-A-Y, where they are consistently ignored by all the cool clubbers, opting to drink and watch drag shows and throw beer nuts at each other. Marion Wardour is Bertie’s gal pal and sometimes she comes along too, with the aim of hooking up with bi guys (and occasionally bi girls). Otherwise, she’s off singing in fringe musicals.

Spode is a member of UKIP and his wife Madeleine writes awful Winnie the Pooh fanfiction.

I WOULD WATCH THE HELL OUT OF THIS,AND SO WOULD MY MORMON SISTER,IT WOULD BE JUST THAT GOOD!IT WOULD BE THE BEST SITCOM OF OUR GENERATION!

Going to take the opportunity to plug the fic I have been writing of this headcanon :DDD

http://ift.tt/2yxEE71
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jt7755:

kelleyelizabet:

sex scene = the audience is uncomfortable and learns nothing 

Sax scene= the audience is impressed and learns love for the saxophone
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baconmoop:

I only have one problem with the Uprising trailer.

WHERE ARE NEWT’S GLASSES?

Come on, like Newt wouldn’t go straight back to contacts like the poser he is. He thinks they’re cooler (he’s wrong)
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annethecatdetective:

thischick25:

vastderp:

snuffgrenade:

the–witchmaker:

bogleech:

sixthrock:

sidneyia:

brainstatic:

jonbrnthal:

i just found out merriam webster has a time traveler feature that tells you some of the words that were “born” the same year as you. it’s pretty neat yall should do this

I’m the same age as glass ceiling and horndog.

vietnamese pot-bellied pig, crack house, and elephant in the room

I’m the same age as ‘cyberpunk’, ‘nuclear winter’, ‘cell phone’, ‘designer drug’ and a whooole lot of now-common computer terms. i’m old.

I GOT VARROA MITE

ah yes, 1995. the year of “partial-birth abortion,” “date rape drug,” and “complex regional pain syndrome”

‘humblebrag’ ‘selfie’ and ‘dubstep’

post-traumatic stress disorder, yuppie, NIMBY, hip-hop, techno-pop. nice!

Heck yeah, 1980! All the stuff Luka listed, plus “high-five”, “chill out”, and “air guitar”…

EXCELLENT!!

Bi-Curious and Death Metal!

Anime
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via http://ift.tt/2y3ZSrO:In Arms - Skull_Bearer - Fallout 4 [Archive of Our Own]:

Chapters: 2/?
Fandom: Fallout 4
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: X6-88, Justin Ayo, Courser Character(s) (Fallout), X4-18, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Nate Brooks, Nick Valentine, Institute Character(s)
Additional Tags: Courser fic, The Institute - Freeform, The Nuclear Option, Underground Undercover, Synths, Pro-synth, Anti-Institute, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Slavery, Brainwashing, Gore, Dissociation, Trauma, Violence, Dehumanisation, Abuse, Freedom
Summary:

The Institute is destroyed, and X6 and the Coursers have some hard truths to face, and new choices to make.
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vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

my fav thing being a hillbilly in poor ass appalachian country is when someone I know tries to say us white people can be called slurs and I’m like “like what” and they say some word I’ve literally never heard or been called in my entire life and I’m like “what” and they say something like “yeah in the 1920s they used to call us people in mining counties that” and I just have to try to make them understand that if ya have to look up a slur in a history book to find out it even existed and then go out of your way to tell people it exists because only probably 4 people have even ever been called it in their entire lives… . ….… .. it’s not actually negatively affecting your life in any way other than feeding your victim complex and making it hard to hang out with you ffs

I just literally looked up slurs used against white appalachians throughout history and the tw listed are “hillbilly” and “redneck” so I think we can go ahead and stop acting like we actually get called racial slurs thanks

I want it to be VERY clear that in this post I am directly talking about white people claiming there is any racial slur in existence in the US right now that carries actual power to damage them.

Even if it was a slur it would be class based rather than racial.
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Now I headcanon that her girlfriend makes her put little coloured caps on her nails, like cats get if they scratch the furniture.
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gatoafterdark:

electricpuke:

Hello friends! I was looking at the other Goretober List and decided that I should make another one this year. So me and @gatoafterdark smacked our heads together and made this new list.

Please tag #Goretober and any other appropriate tags!

1. Medical2. Eye trauma3. Mouth Trauma4. Amputation5. Guts6. Too much blood7. Stitches8. Burns9. Consensual gore10. Cannibalism11. Plant growth12. Torture13. Keeping a trophy14. Asphyxiation15. Lacerations16. Monster-like features17. Power Tools18. Execution19. Gunshot Wound20. Other bodily fluid21. Bloody and Beaten22. Surreal gore23. Bones24. Crushed25. Decay26. Tied up27. Before the gore28. Rearranged29. Under the skin30. Knife31. Candy Gore

IT’S ALMOST GORETOBER FRIENDS! WHO’S READY TO PARTY???
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kinktober2017:

It’s almost that time of year, so following in the footsteps of last year, we would like to present Kinktober 2017! For the prompts, we’ve used the original 30 prompts from @sparksreactor (hope that’s okay!) and added another 60, for a total of 3 prompts per day. For the 31st, we went with a free-for all of any of the prompts combined. 

Keep in mind, the days are more of a loose suggestion! Any of the prompts can be subbed in for any day, and if there’s a kink you’d like to use that isn’t listed, go on ahead! And for actual content, digital, traditional, and writing are all welcome and encouraged!

1. Spanking | Sleepy Sex | Aphrodisiacs
2. Dirty talk | Watersports | Forniphilia (Human Furniture)
3. Public | Biting | Sthenolagnia (Strength/Muscles)
4. Bukakke | Knife Play | Begging
5. Humiliation | Cuckolding | Body Swap
6. Size Difference | Bondage | Bonds (Telepathic or Empathic)
7. Creampie | Worship (Body, etc) | Cross-dressing
8. Latex | Roleplay | Deep-Throating/Face-Sitting
9. Asphyxiation | Lingerie | Frottage
10. Edgeplay | Gun Play | Fucking Machine
11. Sadism/Masochism | Orgasm Denial | Gags
12. Master/Slave | Tentacles | Hand-jobs
13. Medical play | Rimming | Titfucking
14. Sensory Deprivation | Role Reversal | Incest
15. Sounding | Object Insertion | Lapdances
16. Waxplay | Pegging | Masks
17. Blood/Gore | Costume | Massage
18. Daddy | Leather | Masturbation
19. Prostitution/Sex Work | Olfactophilia (Scent) | Nipple Play
20. Pet Play | Feet | Threesome (or more)
21. Double (Or more) Penetration | Impact Play | Shower/Bath
22. Glory hole | Collaring | Scars
23. Shibari | Corset | Against a wall
24. Exhibitionism/Voyeurism | Fisting | Sixty-nine
25. Boot worship | Suspension | Smiles/Laughter
26. Shotgunning | Mirror Sex | Stockings/Tights/Pantyhose
27. Branding | Temperature Play | Stripping/Striptease
28. Xenophilia | Tickling | Swallowing
29. Omorashi | Dacryphilia (Crying) | Overstimulation
30. Toys | Emeto | Cunnilingus
31. Any combo of the above

Be sure and tag anything you post with Kinktober or Kinktober2017, and most importantly, have fun! Feel free to reblog this post, and to send an ask for any questions you might have!
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I’d get it if you could get this Robert style ending where Joseph would go “Okay, I’m getting divorced and that’s a bad place to start a relationship, so let’s be friends and see how things go when the world isn’t ending’. 

But having him stay in a completely wretched relationship ‘for the kids’ is making me, a kid who’s parents divorced, really uncomfortable. Like, he’s miserable, Mary’s miserable and turning to alcoholism, they’re struggling to be there for their kids (Mary seems to have given up entirely). GET DIVORCED ALREADY HOLY SHIT. Those kids are going to be fucked for life.
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1000demonsinasack:

prokopetz:

avatar-dacia:

marzo2theletter:

Why is it that every werewolf book is this weird testosterone fueled alpha male/female romance thing? 

Like guys. Werewolves are family groups. They are basically big ol’ dog families. Your werewolf family wouldn’t be made up of alpha males fighting each other for dominance and subjugating females. 

If there was a werewolf in your neighborhood, they’d be that family of 10 kids always roughhousing outside and their house is the one all the neighborhood kids go to hang out at because Mr. Werewolf and Mrs. Werewolf are the Cool Parents that their kids find really embarrassing. 

“Wait…Emily?  Aren’t she and her whole family…you know?”

“Don’t believe everything you’ve heard; worst thing that’s ever happened over there is the twins teething on visitors’ shoes.”

Here’s the thing, though.

While the notion of the “alpha wolf” is indeed misguided, being based on observations of wolves in captivity, the dominance thing does happen. And it’s not just the adult males; adult females do it too - but it’s only a thing when wolves who aren’t related by blood end up sharing a habitat.

So consider: by some happenstance, two unrelated werewolf families end up living across the street from one another. Of course they’re not going to start brawling in the streets - they’re civilised people, after all - but that urge to show the other pack who’s boss comes out in other ways, resulting in the two clans getting, like, weirdly competitive about everything.

Imagine the Hallowe’en displays.

That school district has never had better bakesales than the years both clans have had kids in the same school

So basically, Your Character and Brian Harding from Dream Daddy are both werewolves.
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sjw-hitgirl:

sylveonagainstddlg:

genderfluid-coyote-starrk:

too-easily-obsessed:

ladyofthegeneral:

spacexualkids:

entertainingfaith:

To prove something to a friend, please

REBLOG IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES

LIKE IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS DON’T BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES

:)

REBLOGGING SO HARD.

YOU BETTER FUCKING BELIEVE IM REBLOGGING WTF

GET 👏🏼 RID 👏🏼 OF 👏🏼 ACE/AROPHOBIA 👏🏼

im gonna reblog this everytime i see it ,,

REBLOG THIS ALREADY!
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baking-accident:

i know this is a stupid thing to be upset about but current consensus seems to be that aromantic aces don’t belong in either lgbt or straight categories, and i want to be ok with that, i would never want to make people feel unsafe if i’m considered an oppressor, it’s just that personally i’ve been reading stuff including us as part of the community since i was 14 and impressionable so it’s like, a largeish part of my identity now? i internally go “hey that’s me!” when i see pride stuff, i’m proud of how non-straight i look with short hair and flannels, i’ve always thought of myself as One Of The Gang when my friends talk about being lgbt. i know i can still be a good ally and my self-worth shouldn’t depend on what some community thinks of me, but i guess i just have to learn to be more ok with being My Own Thing

Please ignore tumblr ‘consensus’ (which is wrong anyway, exclusion is ta are by far the minority). IRL and even just elsewhere on the internet, most LGBT+ groups (that aren’t TERF run) want to open our doors to as many people as possible. Because we are still s minority and numbers give us strength.

Ironic that exclusion is ta are always going on about 'it’s considered cool to call yourself queer’, when they are being the biggest hipster shots imaginable.

You are part of the community. Anyone who says otherwise is not someone we want.
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Why hasn’t twitter banned Trump?

The guy is literally destablising the world with his twitter account, can he be banned now?
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headcanonsforcompanions:

Hey, if any of you have written Fallout fanfics of some sort that you want me to see, please send them! I’d love to read and reblog them c:

I have a few on my Ao3 page, mostly Nick/Sole and a big X6 story.
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Whatever. If anyone’s answer to more inclusivity is ‘don’t write it because you might get it wrong’, rather than offering resources on how to write it right, then they’re not much better than people who tell you ‘don’t write it because I hate SJWs.’

If the net result is getting people to not write inclusively, you can all suck a fat dick. With knobs on.
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-c- journey in coping and slowly finding a better life in this new world. There is some struggle–dealing with a lack of medication in a fantasy world, withdrawal from anxiety meds, symptoms of his illness–though its generally got a more uplifting tone and would end on a good note. 

Does this cut it too close to tragedy exploitation of a poc, regardless?

Black Characters: Tragedy Exploitation and Mental Illness

In short: yes.

In long: As an outsider, ask why you want to write about the nuances of Black people experiencing mental illness when racism in treatment is rampant, misdiagnosis is extremely common, and the culture around PoC+ mental illness in general is double dose toxic.

Us Black mods with mental illness would like to add: we wouldn’t want to read this from a white person. This idea reads like unnecessary torture and would lack nuance without tons of research. We are personally not checking for these kinds of stories written by people without the direct experience.

This should be written by a Black MI person. There’s too many talking over and ignoring Black MI people by white MI already.

–WWC

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