My brother's leaving

[skull_bearer]

I've wanted this since I was 2, and yet now I'm just feeling... numb. I knew he was leaving for uni this year, but then he and mum had a huge blow-up fight and while I'm certainly not sorry he's gone. I wish it could have ended differently, for her sake.
I guess I might miss him a bit too, but since our actual conversations only happened once a month, I don't think by much. It will also make visiting dad rather awkward. Sigh. Nothing's working out. I wish I was already off backpacking.

Comments

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Don't worry too much, I bet in the long run he and your mom will get along again. Your not-quite-happiness about his leaving probably has to do more with the general blues of familiar circumstances changing, no matter if for better or worse. *hugs*

[jehzavere.livejournal.com]

My relationship with my mother improved once I left the house. She is the only person alive so far that can prod me into a screaming rage. Hopefully, things will cool off between your brother and mother and they can be calm and mature around each other from now on. I'm sorry you are in some depressing situations right now - hopefully you will be able to go on another trip sometime soon and find a little peace.

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

I'm just feeling knotted up. Unrequited love, family crisis and neo-nazis do not a good week make.

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Unrequited love, family crisis and neo-nazis do not a good week make.

I can believe that! It's why I've been so reluctant to address the issue of "damn, just how tangled up are you with those neo nazi types anyway?" - I guess the last thing you need at the moment are long panicky emails from weird German fangirls who only know half the background story, so I'm not sending the one I wrote over a week ago.
*hugs*

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

Not enough that you need to fear for my sanity, don't worry, but as a friend of mine most peceptively said: "Moths and flames, little historian."

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Nicely poetic.
It's exactly why I was worrying. You wouldn't be the first, you know. I think there is even a psychological term just for that kind of unhealthy fascintion that occurs among World War II historians. (Though I sometimes think it happens to most historians and their favourite epochs. Unfortunately an interest in fascism is a little more worrying and of current relevance than, say, one in Julius Caesar, the Wars of the Roses, or the downfall of the Assyrian empire.) Don't let it get that pathologic, will you? I have to admit when I heard about that you-running-around-in-an-SS-uniform-while-it's-not-even-halloween-not-that-that-would-help-much thing I was freaking out more than a little. (Actually I am still freaked.) As I said, I was trying to get over it, and not force you to discuss that in the middle of all your personal problems, but it was just such a strong sense of... I don't know, bewilderment? Disappointment? Anger? Anway, my respeonse was something along the lines of "She of all people should know better."

I know you're not fond of criticism, but I needed to get this off my chest sooner or later. So this is the distilled version.
I hope you don't hate me now.

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

I take it you're watching my other journal right? How did you find it?

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Actually, no I don't. I didn't even know you have one! Anything to worry about?

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

Just wondered where I'd mentioned the War and Peace show.

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

You didn't mention that by name anyplace. I guess it's what was referenced here? Because that made me wonder just how many neo-nazis you are surrounded by.
*shrugs* I guess I overreacted, but only having gotten these two tiny scraps of information, it looked pretty damning.

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

One was me being silly, the War and Peace Show is a WW2 reinactment which was BLOODY AWESOME, only I ran into some people who I thought were German reinactors. They weren't. Silly me.

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Sorry for me being so suspiscious then. *hides face in shame*

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

you-running-around-in-an-SS-uniform-while-it's-not-even-halloween-not-that-that-would-help-much thing

I knew it was poison when I drank it, thank you very much. Now please give me enough credit to know myself an know how much I could take without causing permanent damage. It's certainly not something I'm planning to make a habit of, but just for once it was such a mind-blast I cannot say it was anything but worth it.
Wish it hadn't taken me four days to detox though.

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

You shared that info here, in case you were wondering whether I developed some sort of long-distance mind-reading or clairvoyance.

Of course I gave you more credit than that. Which is why I was so shocked and confused.

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see. I understand now. It was a silly thing, and it wasn't so much a uniform as much as a bunch of clothes that kinda looked like a uniform. No insignia. And it was just to wind people up.