For Shadow Valkyries' request:

[skull_bearer]

A Dark Lords Unite Night, Raistlin, Erik (magneto), Sauron and Darth Vader.
 

*All are spontaniously teleported into a bare room, with the exception of Sauron and Vader, who are created on the spot.*

Sauron: *telepathically because I don't know how giant eyeballs comunicate* Whaaaa...

Raistlin: *is naked. If it was just Erik it might be okay but faced with a giant eyeball he yelps and tried to hide in a corner.*

Vader: Oh crap, not again.

Erik: *looks carefully around the room. Since no one is attacking and he already knows Raistlin, he sts down next to Raistlin and lends him his coat.*

*there is a long silence*

Raistlin: Thanks for the coat.

Erik: It's not a problem.

Raistlin: *eyes Vader and Sauron, then leans over to whisper* I don't know about the giant eye but I think the other one is a Knight of Takhisis. They're probably going to attack-

Vader: What are you?

Sauron: You run with people who throw lightning from their hands and you ask about a flaming eyeball?

Erik: *softly to Raistlin* I don't know what to do with the eyeball, but the other one isn't wearing metal and if he can throw lightning I'm not sure what I could do. What about you?

Raistlin: I'm not sure, I could try, but if it doesn't work I'm not sure about our chances.

Vader: Lightning is one thing, but manipulating fire with the Force- creating fire-

Sauron: The what?

Erik: That's it, if they've got powers neither of us understand, we can't attack. If Charles- or your Dalamar- we're here-

Raistlin: Yes, where are they?

Vader: Where are who? In fact, who are you? Or you?

Sauron: The Dark Lord Sauron, Lord of Mordor.

Vader: I am Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith.

Raistlin: *grabs Erik's arm when he's about to stand* I don't think poncificating is a good idea.

Erik: No. It is. I am Magneto, Lord of Magnetism.

Raistlin: *resigning himself to looking even more ridiculous* My name is Raistlin Majere, mage and lord of nothing in particular. Where are we?

Erik: An irritatingly non-metallic room.

Vader: Force shielded, interesting. I don't have my lightsaber either.

Raistlin *touches the wall* Magic resistant.

*they all look at Sauron*

Sauron: My powers are limited without the ring. I may be able to send out a call for assistance.

Erik: Good! Make it to Charles Xavier.

Raistlin: And what will he do? Think this place open? Call Dalamar.

Vader: If he's a mage too, what makes you think he'll have any more luck than you? Call Lord Sidious. Tell him to bring my lightsaber.

Sauron: Alright! Alright! I'll call them all, and my ringwraiths just in case. And my ring, but that's not likely to have any more luck than usual.

*he concentrates, at least, that's what they think he's doing, with giant eyes it's hard to tell*

Sauron: Done.

Vader: So.

Erik: So.

Raistlin: We're stuck here until someone comes.

Erik: Did anyone see an air-vent in this room,? Because Sauron is on fire and fire consumes oxygen very quickly. I for one don't want to suffocate.

Raistlin: Well that made everything far more cheerful, any other pleasent little ideas you want to share?

Erik: Do you want me to take my coat back?

Raistlin: You wouldn't dare.

Erik: It's woven metal.

*another long silence*

Vader: So, you command magnetism.

Erik: Yes. I'm a mutant, he's a mage, and you control some sort of force.

Vader: The Force, the Force of the Dark side.

Raistlin: The Dark side?

Vader: Yes, the true power of the Force.

Sauron: I think I'm seeing a pattern here. *to Vader* I imagine you use this Force to fight the 'Light side'.

Vader: The Jedi; misguided fools that they-

Sauron: Yes, yes yes. I know what it's like. You want to take over the world for whatever reason, you fight and wipe out almost all of those who can oppose you, and then the ones you've missed turn on you.

Vader: Amazing! How did you-

Sauron: Voice of experience my man. And you- *to Raistlin* You're not one to take over the world, I suspect you want to be left alone to study magic, but people keep getting in your way.

Raistlin: That's pretty much-

Sauron: And you *to Erik. Pause.* What are you doing here?

Erik: I have no idea. If this is a Dark Lord convention I don't think I quite fit. People keep trying to kill me. For various uniformly stupid reasons.

Raistlin: I know the feeling. When people know you're a mage, they're always unpleasent.

Erik: I wish.

Vader: But you kill people?

Erik: When they're charging towards me screaming with guns, yes. Why? How many have you killed.

Sauron: Everyone who makes trouble.

Raistlin: Anyone who gets on my nerves.

Vader: I once blew up a planet.

*silence*

Sauron: Why?

Raistlin: What was the point?

Vader: It was to make a point.

Erik: Why am I here?

Sauron: What's the point of blowing up a planet when you could just subjugate everyone?

Raistlin: Not to mention all the things you destroy on that planet.

Erik: I repeat, why am I here?

*A rattling noise, a creak, and the walls start to shift, pulling and slotting together in a very sci-fi way*

Erik: About time.

Raistlin: Definitely.

Sauron: It must be one of yours, my servants couldn't have taken this long.

Vader: My master would have burnt his way through.

Erik: I'd have heard Charles. *touches his head*

Raistlin: Dalamar would have blasted it down.

*an uncomfortable silence. The prison continues to neatly pack itself away, revealing...*

Frodo Baggins: Preeeecious...

Vader: Oookay...

Raistlin: Kender! Hide!

Erik: *says nothing. He has a migrane from being stuck in a room with a bunch of lunatics and this is the last straw.*

Sauron:... That was unexpected. Nice, but unexpected. *vaporises Frodo*

Raistlin: Niiice...

Vader: I agree.

Sauron: Oh yes.

*The Ring floats up, and vanishes inside the eyeball. It fades, revealing Sauron's armor-plated form.*

Sauron: Oh yes!

Erik: Alright. Fine. I'm staying here until Charles comes.

Raistlin: That shouldn't take long. *points to where the summoned people are approaching*

Vader: Thank the force.

Erik: About time.

Sauron: Ohhh Yessss! *goes to join the ringwraiths and charges off to flatten Middle-Earth*

Vader: *looks at Raistlin and Erik. They glare back.* I'll be off then.

Raistlin: Please.

*Vader leaves*

Erik: Thank God, I'd hate to meet his master. What would he do for enterainment? Vaporise solar systems?

Raistlin: Probably.

*silence*

Raistlin: I know, you know. Why it upsets you. Elric told me.

Erik: Elric should learn to keep his mouth shut.

Raistlin: If it counts for anything, he's declared war on the Gods of Law because of it.

Erik: *sigh* I might thank him then. *He gets up* Hello Charles.

Charles: I see I'm too late to do any good.

Erik: Thank you for coming anyway. *kisses him*

Dalamar: *his robes are askew, as though he threw them on in a hurry* Hello Raistlin.

Raistlin: About time. *hugs him* I need a drink.

Erik: Excellent idea.

Dalamar: Would you like to come back with us? You could see Krynn and Raistlin could put some clothes on.

Charles: An even better idea.

*they leave*