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9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

I just play with endless variations on a theme until something comes up and I go ‘ooh, interesting’. Sometimes these themes are so convoluted I doubt if anyone really wants to read it, like the weird Nate/Matrix crossover story I’m writing at the moment. Sometimes, they can work out pretty well overall. I am basically always playing with aus and aus of aus- and so on

12) your weaknesses as an author

Plot. I- don’t really have plots. They just sort of happen over time and then I have to go back and rework what I’ve done already. Sex, Love and Robotics has no set goal and I’m still woolly as to what happens from here to Civil War (where I know exactly what’s going to happen).

13) your strengths as an author

I’m a massive Cormac McCarthy fan, so the one thing I do focus on is use of language. Picking out the right word to evoke a scene using the minimum wordcount. I think I’m improving on that.
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Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with? Not currently. Nate isn’t sure if he ever had siblings. He thinks he had an older female relative, but whether it was an older sister, cousin, or very young aunt- or even just a family friend- is beyond him.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like? Nate’s mother was kind, patient. She was a rather more withdrawn person, quiet and understated, but very firm. Nate thinks she was closer to her, he has more memories of her than his father, at least. He remembers watching her cook, dress, put on makeup.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like? Nate’s father was a bit more distant, but was very supportive. He was very proud of Nate’s intelligence, his interests in engineering and subversive music. The last one was the main thing they could bond over. Unfortunately, his love was very subjective. 

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know? Beside obviously the pills, there was the bombs, but more recently, there was the Institute. Nate is trying to get back to normal, but he isn’t quite the same person. He’s quieter, sick of anger and hate, a little tired.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets? Lighters, string, wonderglue, spare bullets, a packet of cigarettes for Nick, a little makeup, doggy treats for Dogmeat, screws. Nate has big pockets and you can find almost anything inside them, up to and including eggs. Once, Nate felt something move inside his pocket, reached in, and found a chick.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams? They tend to be rather vague and strange, flowing landscapes, people who are simultaneously three other people, strange colours ebbing and flowing. It’s very peaceful, and Nate always wakes from those dreams happy.

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares? Unlike the dreams, these are very, very vivid, and tend to center around his memories. These days, they bounce between terrible things happening to him (usually involving pills) or Nick (usually involving the Institute).

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target? Nate fired a gun at a very young age, his parents were from Louisiana and it was considered pretty much a rite of passage. He was about eleven, and his father took him out to go duck hunting. Nate fired a lot, hit precisely no ducks, and had a great time. These days, he’s managed to kill a Behemoth with a single shot.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up? Nate doesn’t really have a socioeconomic status now. When he was growing up, he was lower middle class, .

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing? Less clothes usually ;) he wears light armor and clothes when out in the Commonwealth, and enjoys wearing dresses when he can.

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been? Probably when he was arrested, in the nightclub. He was only seventeen, and was absolutely certain he was about to be shot.

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been? When they took down the Prydwen. It was the right thing to do, he knew exactly what he was doing, he was calm, steady and afterwards- it felt like he was surfacing after a long time underwater.

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way? Not really, Nate has seen a lot, and besides, blood and gore and bones  are completely innocent compared with other things he have seen.

Does your character remember names or faces easier? Names, he’s not great with faces, although in the Commonwealth, people tend to be a little more memorable, not having any styles to emulate, so that helps.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not? No, he tends to throw caps around pretty casually. Money is for doing things with, and he will happily build things and buy things for his friends and family.

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success? Happiness, absolutely. He would happily have a quieter life in order to be happy. He actually gave up finding Shuan, because he didn’t want to risk what he had.

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child? Nate has no idea. Now he’s pissed off for having that too taken from him. He thinks his family had a bicycle and he liked it, but that’s pretty vague. 

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others? Wisdom, definitely. He’s rather suspicious of ambition, people seem to be very easily corrupted by it.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before? He tends to be very blunt and tactless, and has sometimes hurt Nick by accident due to this.

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?  Definitely in being a good person, for self criticism. Nate likes being around good people like Nick and Preston because it helps give him a better idea of what he needs to be like.

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others? I think Nate would blame himself first, but would have a better idea as to responsibility as time goes on. He tends to be fair on himself and others.

What does your character like in other people? Kindness, generosity, selflessness. 

What does your character dislike in other people? Ambition, arrogance, selfishness and casual cruelty.

How quick is your character to trust someone else? A little too quick, as Nate learned with the Brotherhood and, to some extend, Deacon.

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person? He tends not to, Nate tends to be a little naive at times, but if they do break that trust, he finds it very hard to forget.

How does your character behave around children? Not so well, Nate is still very young himself, and hasn’t had much experience with children. He tends to treat them like small adults, which tends to work.

How does your character normally deal with confrontation? Depends on the confrontation, with misunderstandings, Nate tries to deescalate, but if they are a threat, he will get violent very quickly.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation? Either he will try and talk people down, or his will be the first shot fired.

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true? Building things, creating new technology, building a better world. This is pretty much what he is doing, so it’s just fine.

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting? Bloatflies for the most part, arrogance, but the worst is mindless obedience. He’s been there, it terrifies him.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable. He and Nick and Dogmeat are walking through the Glowing Sea, everything is very clear, very still, nothing for miles. Everything is quiet. He pulls Nick against him, kisses him, it’s wonderful.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable. Nate is in a noisy place, there is a storm, he cannot see, people are trying to kill him, he is alone. 

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve? Usually happy to improve, he knows he’s not always that great, and wants to be better.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method? It depends how many spoons he’s got left. Usually no, he can stop and rethink what he is doing. If he is low on spoons though, he tends to burn out and find it hard to chance track.

How does your character behave around people they like? Lots of praise, lots of kind words and sweet banter. Nate will not be mean or unpleasant to them, or even tease for fear they’d take it the wrong way or it would come out wrong.

How does your character behave around people they dislike? Distant, a bit snarky, deadpan. He just wants to get away from them.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status? Honor, although Nate has a loose grasp of that, he has an even weaker view of status. I would say neither were too important.

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat? Most threats to him are threats to other people, he removes the threat, if it’s an animal, he might avoid it though.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)? A lot in the Commonwealth. He knows these animals are threats, and takes care.

How does your character treat people in service jobs? Very well. If you are shitty to someone in a service position, you don’t get service.

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first? Nate does think he’s gone through enough, he should have some nice things. To be fair, he doesn’t need much. He just wants to quiet life as a scavver and engineer, and spend time with Nick.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them? Not really. He views most people as equals regardless of age these days, and cannot remember much from before the war.

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them? Well, synth Shaun, and that was a complete trainwreck. Nate had just shot human Shaun, and didn’t want another kid. Tinker Tom adopted the kid.

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it? Easy, Nate loves saying it. He loves saying it.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? Nate believes he will die, and there is nothing else. Sometimes he wonders about what will happen to his body, if it will go through division and become part of something greater. regardless, he won’t know about it. He doesn’t mind, it sounds peaceful, and there will be nothing more, good or bad.
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What is your OC’s favorite color?  Nate loves red. He’s not sure why, or even if he needs a reason, but he has a lovely collection of red dresses that he’s very proud of.

Does your OC collect anything? What do they collect? Books mostly, and a smaller collection of nice clothes and makeup for special occasions. Nate and Nick are meticulous in saving books in the commonwealth, and they both love to read.

What kind of things is your OC allergic to? Nostalgia ;p not really anything.

What kind of clothing does your OC wear? A red dress, if he can, but when he’s out in the Commonwealth, he wears the Silver Shroud outfit, and a skull gas mask.

What is your OC’s first memory? It’s hard to place his patchwork memories in order, but Nate thinks the earliest one he has is of a Christmas. He remembers the lights, the christmas tree and the presents beneath. He remembers dancing with a woman, or tall girl, standing on her feet as they waltz slowly to Silent Night. He wonders who she was. Mother, aunt, sister?

What’s your OC’s favorite animal? Least favorite? Nate cements his lack of sanity by liking Deathclaws, although to be fair, they’re not hugely fast, can be seen from far away, and don’t always attack you. He really hates baby mirelurks, they’re really fast and almost impossible to hit until they start jumping at you. 

What element would your OC be? Water. Changable, glittering, and with dangerously deep currents.

What is your OC’s theme song? Bright Eyes, by Bridge and Tunnel. Also Voodoo Child by Jimi Hendrix.

Do you have a faceclaim / voiceclaim for your OC? I posted a picture of Nate before, and his voice is similar to his canon voice, only with a little more Boston accent, and just a hint of Louisiana there from his parents.

What deadly sin would best represent your OC? Wrath. Nate sometimes struggles with his emotions, he has no gears to control them and tends to just have to ride them out. He’s usually a very upbeat person, but his one real vice is his anger. It takes a lot to get him angry, but when he hates you- he has no mercy. He is utterly terrifying.

What are your OC’s hobbies? Reading when he can, if not, he likes making things. He makes weapons and armor out of necessity, but really loves making settlement necessities and luxuries.

How patient is your OC? How hot-headed are they? Not very patient at all. he doesn’t complain, but tends to get restless if he has to wait for anything, and goes off to do something else, even if it’s just pulling one of his guns apart for cleaning. Nate likes to be busy. As for hot-headed, if you manage to really piss him off, it’s less hot-headed and more trying to stop him going for your throat. 

What is your OC’s gender / sexuality / race / species / etc.? Gay male human. Mixed white creole/African American for ethnicity.

What foods does your OC like to eat? What are their least favorite foods? Ah yes, food. Nate’s favorite food, once upon a time, was his mother’s seafood gumbo. These days, if he can manage it, he actually likes radroach. It actually tastes rather nutty and quite sweet. He will never, ever eat bloatfly, once was quite enough.

If your OC could have any pet, what would they choose? Why? He’s very happy with Dogmeat. Dogs are friendly, loyal, incredibly useful and capable of looking after themselves. The perfect animal companion.

What does your OC smell like? Machine oil, cordite, hubflower tea.

How do they make a living? What kind of job do they want / not want? What is their dream job? What do they think of their current job? Nate has a lot of jobs, like most people in the Commonwealth. He helps out with the Minutemen, runs jobs for the Railroad, and takes the odd detective job with Nick, but in the end, he makes his living scavving. He’s good at it, likes it on the whole and it gives him the material and caps for the things he really loves.

What are your OC’s greatest fears? Weaknesses? Strengths? Losing his mind again is the main one, but losing his friends and loved ones is up there too. He’s vulnerable due to his PTSD and other issues, and is very creative and absolutely brilliant.

What kind of music do they listen to? Do they have a favorite song? Old school rock and roll ;) I push the fallout soundtrack to the 1960s, and Nate adores Jimi Hendrix. His favourite song is All Along the Watchtower.

If they came from their world to ours (if not already in our’s) how would they react? What would they do? Freak out completely. Eventually calm down and realise he hasn’t gone back in time and this world is not as bad as the one before, but would still very much want to go home. He’d probably find a way home, and if possible stock up on books and music to bring back with him.

What personal problems/issues do they have? Pet peeves? His struggles with his PTSD and eating disorder. He’s torn between trying to find out what he can about his past and therefore maybe understand what’s wrong with him and get better- and staying the hell away because whatever is in his memory, it ain’t good.

What kind of student were they/would they be in high school? A complete nerd. A really smart, not very socially skilled kid. It didn’t help that Nate had a lot of puppy fat until he was about fifteen and hit his first serious growth spurt. He was a bit of a bully magnet.

What is a random fact about your OC? He was on the swim team in college, and joined a dance club before going to university.

What is their outlook on life? What is their philosophy / what do they think in general about living? Determinedly upbeat. The world is getting better, every day. The worst is over and even if things are hard right now, the general slope is going up.

What inspired you to create them / how did you create them? Were they originally a fancharacter? What was their personality / design like when you first made them? Nate is my Fallout 4 character. I do have a little story featuring him that’s real world/urban fantasy, but right now he’s staying in Fallout. I originally created another character completely for fallout 4, but they didn’t fit at all and slowly, little by little morphed into Nate. I stopped the game, started a new file, and have been laying it over with Nate from the beginning.

Who is the most important person in their life? Why? Who is the least important to them (that still has an impact and why?) Definitely Nick. Best friend, boyfriend and general life partner, Nate is completely staggered that he’s manage d to meet someone that amazing. Least is probably Shaun. Nate actually gave up on finding him completely after about a month out of the vault, and only ran into him because he wanted to bring down the institute. Nate shoots him and leaves him to die.

What kind of childhood did your character have? A good one, he thinks. He was bullied a bit but it was fairly low key stuff, and his parents were kind. He can;t rememeber most of the details now, but the overall feel of it was happy.

What kind of nervous habits do they have? Do they stim? Do they have any kinds of addictions? Nate does need to keep busy, and he wills tart to fiddle with things if he doesn’t have anything to do.It’s a form of stimming, and he finds weapon care particularly nice to help him wind down. He doesn’t take drugs, even down to alcohol.

If they could choose their epitaph for their grave, what would they choose? Nate has no intention of dying (and leave Nick alone?)

Do they want to get married? Why or why not? Would they ever want kids? Do they have kids? Why? Nate might one day get married to Nick. He loves him, but marriage is- uncomfortable. With kids- after Shaun, Nate’s learnt his lesson. He is not father material, and he will never breed again. Synth!Shaun gets adopted by Sturges and Tinker Tom, with Mama Murphy as a grandma and Glory as a scary awesome aunt. Nate is, at best, a somewhat distant older brother.

What is their most traumatic memory/experience? What is their favorite memory? Ugh. The issue is picking one. There are a lot. Probably opening fire on unarmed civilians in a food riot. Or shooting down protesters from a vertibird. Or holding a family at gunpoint while the army- (Nate curls into a little ball and starts crying) His favourite memory is also a little hard to pick. Meeting Nick. Blowing up the Institute. but maybe the best will always be climbing out of Vault 111, seeing the sky for the first time and knowing down to his bones, that everything is going to be ok.

If they could have one thing in the world, what would it be? There isn’t a physical thing Nate wants, but he would give quite a lot to be healed. He loves the world, he wishes he could explore it without fear of panic attacks or starvation.

Would they ever kill someone? What would someone have to do to push them to kill someone? If they would kill someone, why?  Well, since this is the Commonwealth, usually try and kill him first. If they don’t, then they will need to be a clear and present threat to him or others.

What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually? Nate likes to join in with evening songs and stories around the campfire in Sanctuary. He’s got a very good voice and a massive repertoire of songs, so often gets asked to sing. Nate will do that, but he often prefers to take more of a background role as the audience, or just taking his turn int he storytelling.

How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories? Nate has a good imagination, and enjoys a bit of escapism in reading, but for the most part he stays here and now. His imagination draws him pictures of new settlements, potential weapons, how the spare parts he has fit together to make something new. He spends little time thinking of the past or the future.

What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain? He wants this to continue. He wants his life as it is, right now, to never end. Oh, he doesn’t mind change, that’s inevitable, but he just wants to keep living this life, with variations, for ever. And Nate has plans for that.

What’s something that your character does, that other people don’t normally do? Collect boxes of Abraxo Cleaning. he gets shit for that from everyone short of Nick and is getting really sick of explaining that Abraxo Cleaner has acid. Acid goes in to making bullets. Bullets go into guns and keep us alive. Next person who tries to make fun of him is not getting any more bullets ever.

What would your character do with a million dollars? Wipe his arse. LOL. paper money is pretty useless. At least caps are aluminium and therefore pretty damp useful just as raw metal.

What is in your characters refrigerator right now? On their bedroom floor? Nightstand? Garbage can? Nate doesn’t have a fridge, but he keeps a few eggs and mutifruit in a coldbox next to his house. Books on the floor, and maybe a few items of clothing. The one table in his house has a small shrine to Atom on it. Nate doesn’t throw anything away and would probably re-purpose the garbage can as a lightweight turret.

Your character is getting ready for a night out. Where are they going? What do they wear? Who will they be with? Most likely the Third Rail, Nate loves Magnolia’s singing. He’s in a nice red dress, heels and has a couple of red tassels hanging off his gun. He’ll be with Nick, of course.

What does your character do when they’re angry? Why? Scream and throw things if he can’t do anything about it, Nate has a hot temper and needs to let off steam. he tries to go somewhere quiet and throw rocks if he can. If there is something he can do- Nate goes very, very cold, becoming frighteningly meticulous. The Institute survivors thought he was a Courser up until the end.

Does your character have any scars? Where did they get them from?  Quite a few. This isn’t the easiest life. Nate has a half dozen scars on his face, a lot more on his hands from making things, and a handful across his body. He also has a brand on his cheek in the shape of Atom, and a small tattoo over his heart. It’s a little blue heart, with an arrow in it ;)

What was the most offensive thing your character had ever said? Probably a hell of a lot to the Brotherhood and the Institute, but in terms of someone Nate actually gave a damn about- he’s not always the most tactful person and has blundered a few times with Nick. He once made a snide remark as to old Nick Valentine being white, and Nick shot him down pretty hard. Nate was mortified at himself. (old Nick was Korean)

How does your character react/ accept criticism? For the most part, very well. He will consider all criticism, even from people he loathes in case they might be onto something. That doesn’t always help them, thought. (’traitor’ Shaun screams. ‘Yes!” Nate laughs.)

If your character was given a slice of pineapple pizza and they HAD to eat it (or something bad would happen), how would they react? Do they even LIKE pineapple pizza? Nate doesn’t mind the flavor, but this is more food than he’d eat in two days. He manages to get the slice down, his brain kicks into overload, his stomach heaves and it all comes out again.

Your character is given a voodoo doll of themself. What do they do with it? Do they see if it actually works? Oh wow! Nate immediately shows it to everyone. It’s a little voodoo doll! He suddenly remembers a visit to his grandmother in New Orleans and seeing these hanging in a little Marie Laveau house. He puts it up beside his bed and likes looking at it.

Can your character draw? What do they like to draw? Do they doodle? Not really. He can do blueprints but people and living things are harder. He likes art though, and enjoys watching Preston paint.

What were their parents like? How has that affected how they are as an adult? they were kind, and supportive. They started his love of reading and music, and a strong social awareness of privilege and oppression. they also betrayed him utterly when he needed them the most, so there’s that too.

Does your character like candy? Do they get sugar rushes? What are they like when they get a rush? No. Nate does not like candy. He thought it was just his general avoidance of pre-war food, but then Curie got a hive of bees and they had honey and it was so sweet he thought the roof of his mouth was going to peel off so- no.

If your character was presented with imminent and unavoidable death/fatality, how would they react? Would they try to avoid death anyways? Would they try to make their last days count? Nate would not give up, he would keep fighting to the end but, if it was clear there was nothing he could do- he would be very calm. He’s already faced the worst thing that could happen to him, and death doesn’t come close. It’s even something of a reassurance, knowing that once it’s over- no one could hurt him again. He’d be sad about leaving his loved ones behind and would try and be there for them, but in the end, he wouldn’t be afraid.
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1. What’s one experience your character had that made them very afraid?

The pills. Admittedly it seems like CIT shelved that project after his disastrous result, but it’s still there. The fear. It lives under his skin and even now, when the pills have rotten to nothing he’s still afraid. 

2. Does your character have a deep and/or dark secret? If so, what is it?

One, but it’s a strange one. Nate saw Preston painting a picture once, of John Parker, once the Captain of the original Minutemen. He’d painted him with dark brown skin, an orbit of hair like a cloud around his head. Preston smiled and tried to hide it when he saw Nate “I didn’t know what he looked like, so I just guessed-”

“You got it right.” Nate says, with absolute certainty. “Completely right.” Preston stared, Nate smiled. “It’s perfect, Preston. This is absolutely him. We’ll put it up by the gate to Sanctuary. I’ll make a glass cover for it.”

In a strange way, this world is innocent. He’ll not have it corrupted. Let them believe Black and White related to political opinions, and drop race and sexuality and gender into oblivion.

3. Have they ever lost a loved one? What happened to them, and are they the same as they were before they lost them?

Thankfully no. Nate’s loved ones are all with him now. Maybe he lost loved ones in the war, but then he doesn’t remember.

4. Has your character ever been hurt or betrayed by someone they thought they could depend on? What happened?

By his parents. Nate was seventeen when he was arrested, his parents were called. They were given two options, either Nate would go to jail, or they could sign him up for experimental treatment for his homosexual condition. Nate’s father was very influential in the black community, couldn’t bear what jail would mean to his influence, and pushed Nate to take the pills. They were good parents, kind and supportive and loving, but Nate can’t remember them without shuddering. In the end, he’d meant less that politics to them. He has no memory of them after that final moment.

5. Would they ever turn on someone they just met in order to save themselves?

Not really, no. Nate tends to deal with his own problems. Unless the person he’s just met is a raider who’s trying to kill him, and he has to turn on them in self defense.

6. Have they ever committed a crime, or something they felt was wrong? What was it?

In terms of doing something he thought was wrong, no. As for a crime, yes. Being gay. 

7. If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would it be and why?

Prior to visiting the Institute- the director of the Institute. Post visiting the institute- the director of the Institute. After blowing up the Institute- no one really. He has no enemies and no fear of anyone.

8. Does your character have any enemies? If so, who and why?

Few that know about it. Usually the first his enemies know that he is their enemy is when Nate pulls out Apex and opens fire. Usually as their home, family, hopes and dreams goes up in flame around them. Nate has little mercy for his enemies. Luckily, it’s very, very hard to make yourself his enemy.

9. Is the character a victim of abuse?

As ever- not that he knows. His childhood was happy, he’s pretty sure of it. His marriage could have been non-stop beatings but he has only one memory of it, and that is the last morning before the bombs fells. Everything else is gone. 

10. What were the character’s parents like? What was the affect the parents had on the character?

They were kind, and loving. Nate’s memories are patchwork but he can remember his mother’s cooking, and still gets vague cravings for jambalaya. He remembers her teaching him to cook, but the recipes are gone. His father shared his banned and suppressed music. They loved him, and they still, when it all came down to it, betrayed him utterly.

11. What are your character’s coping mechanisms?

Nate stays with his friends, just being near them helps. It’s like the world pressing in on him is just a little further away, kept at bay. It doesn’t help when things get really bad, but it keeps away the smaller, insidious reminders and triggers.

12. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

Neither. Nate doesn’t like pain unless it’s in the bedroom, and takes no pleasure in others’ pain either. He’s had quite enough of pain in his life, and watching others hurt is just… sickening.

13. What does it take to make your character cry?

Helplessness. Seeing someone he loves hurt and being able to do nothing about it. Knowing people are being hurt and being able to do nothing about it. Being hurt, and being able to do nothing about it. Nate has been helpless enough.

14. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before.

Nate never had a real relationship before Nick Valentine, but the one thing that has hurt them in the past is Nate being tactless. He isn’t- wrong about things, but he puts them across so bluntly and without much attention to what others- and what the people he loves- might think, that it backfires more often than not.

15. What is their biggest fear? What in general scares them? How do they act when they’re scared?

Losing himself again. It doesn’t matter if it’s the pills, some new form of mind control or- whatever. Even down to taking drugs like Jet or Psycho or even alcohol. Nate gets a lot jumpier if he thinks those options are on the table, more easily triggered, more terrified, usually he tries to get away from the situation, find somewhere safe to calm down with his friends.

16. What are your character’s vices and bad habits?

Nate doesn’t have many. Sex is the main one, but between him and Nick, it rarely gets in the way of anything important. Anger is another, but that is even rarely, it takes a lot to make Nate really angry, but if that happens, he can get almost myopic in his need for revenge.

17. Is your character afraid of death? Why/why not?

Not at all. He’s seen how bad things can get, in comparison to the pills, death is fine. It’s not something he wants, and he doesn’t believe there’s anything after death, but it sounds peaceful, and at least then, nothing bad can ever happen to him again.

18. Would society call your character a good guy or a bad guy? what would they say they are?

Nate, on the whole, is a good guy. Certainly more people would consider him a force for good in the Commonwealth than bad. Nate doesn’t think about being a good or bad person, but good or bad actions. He thinks he’s weighted more towards good than bad, thus far.

19. What is your character insecure about?

He has done some terrible things. It doesn’t matter that he wasn’t in his right mind at the time, or that everyone is now long, long dead. he still did them. He’s also lost five years to that nightmare, and does feel as though he’s still trying to catch up to his own adulthood.

20.  What was something they struggled with greatly and how did they overcome it?

Nate’s main issue, day to day, is not dying. It’s not just an issue of people or creatures trying to kill him, but also of his own mind. The panic attacks are bad enough but the real drain is staying alive in a mind and body that refuses, point blank, to eat. Nate still struggles with his eating disorder, he has managed ‘cheats’ and workarounds that allow him to manage to survive, but it’s still a long, hard road to walk.

21. Does your character have anyone that they really care about, to the point that they would give their life for them? If so, who are they and what is your character’s relation to them? If not, do they wish they did? Is there anyone they wish they could build such a relationship with?

Um, quite a lot of people. Nick of course, but also Piper, Preston, Curie, Cait and Dima. Probably more. Most of them would do the same for him. Nate is very lucky, and so are they.

22. If they could change just one thing about themselves, what would it be?

Nate wants to make the whole of his pre-war life to have not happened. He just wants it to- go away. The only way that would happen would for him to secretly have been a synth since Vault 111, and since that would mean living forever, having a solid excuse to never go near the Institute and being able to write off Shaun as nothing to do with him- um, what was the downside again?

23. Is your character more physically or emotionally strong? Why is this?

Emotionally, definitely. Nate isn’t very strong physically, he’s quite frail. Emotionally- it varies, Nate wavers between being pretty tough, to crumbling into panic depending on the situation.

24. What is your character’s most important possession? Why?

Probably his gun. Nate used to be an excellent engineer, before the war, before the pills. He lost that after the drugs, and the first time he felt he had it again was in making Apex. It was the first time Nate had made something- perfect, something that was the best it could possibly be. Apex.

25. Do they find that they care what others think of them? Or do they not really mind how others view them?

Very, very little. Sometimes he likes dressing up and seeing if people are checking him out, but even if they aren’t, he doesn’t feel too bothered.

26. What, in your character’s life, puts the most pressure on them?

In one way or another, Shaun. At first, it was duty, and responsibility. Shaun was a child and vulnerable, and Nate was the only one who could help him. Later, it was still Shaun, but then it was to stop him and end his terror in the commonwealth.

27.  What would be the worst way to die, in your character’s opinion?

The pills are gone, so that fate won’t fall on Nate again. The one thing worse, however, would be to watch it happen to the people he loves. In the end, that is Nate’s worst nightmare. To be killed, and know that the people he loves- Nick, Curies, Dima, Arcadia and the Railroad, would be- oh Atom, Nate can’t even think it. The Institute. He has to destroy them, and make that end forever fantasy. The last gasp of the Old World. he won’t let it take he loved ones.

28. What is your character’s greatest strength?

His creativity and focus. Nate can look at a situation, evaluate every factor, and create an solution. He’s very good at seeing the third option to every Catch 22.

29. What is their weapon of choice, and what weapon do they dislike using the most?

Apex, his combat rifle. He can fight almost any battle with it, it makes every shot perfectly, and is quick and precise. He is pretty much useless with most melee weapon, but nothing so much as Super-sledges. He can’t even lift the fucking thing, what d‘you expect him to do.

30. What makes them feel safe or secure? What makes them feel insecure or unsafe?

Safe places, safe people. Places he knows, and where he knows he doesn’t have to worry about triggers. People he loves and feels safe with. People he can trust and rely on. 

Nate gets more and more insecure the closer the world starts to resemble the one he thought gone forever. The Brotherhood of Steel called him ‘soldier’ and he flinches. Fragments of the old world push through the ruins and go off like landmines in Nate’s mind. The Institute, a hermetically sealed time capsule, and Nate screams and screams and screams.
skull_bearer: (Default)
Tagged by @seaweedredandbrown for the writing meme:

Is there a snack you like to eat while writing?
I don’t eat when writing? It sounds messy.

What time of day do you usually write?Usually nighttime, but I sometimes write on my evening commute too.

Where do you write?
In my room on my bed/chaise longe, in my husband’s room on the sofa, or on the train home.

How often do you write a new novel?
Erratically. I’ve written one so far, and I have a few more in the works. Then again there are my fanfics too, so I usually have a stable of a lot of stories so far.

Do you listen to music while you write?
Sometimes, more often I watch brainless or very familiar videos.

What’s your writing utensil? Paper or laptop?
Laptop or tablet.

Do you have a special pre-writing ritual?
Not really.

What do you do to get into the writing mood?
I set up a video (usually something historical and British, and soemtimes to do with food) and sits down and write.

What do you always have near the place you write?
Something to watch a video on, or listen to music at least.

Do you have a reward system for word counts?
Not really.

Is there anything else about your writing process your readers don’t know?
I sometimes wander around and rant about my plot if I’m alone in the flat.

Tag yourself!
skull_bearer: (Skull Bearer)

10 facts about my room:

1) It has varied sources of diffuse lighting (desk lamp,standing lamp, lava lamp)

2) It's hats are mighty. I own a fez, a smoking cap with tassel, two other smoking caps with mirrors sewn on, a black leather fedora, two grey denim baseball caps, a devil cagoule and one 'rabbi pimp hat' (a black broadbrimmed number with a peacock feather in it)

3) It am heavily armed there. I own a broadsword copy of the ringwraith sword in LotR, a katana, an axe, and a number of real weapons, including a lovely knife set I use to cut cheese, a curved switchblade I sharpen pencils with, and a short sword made of a bayonette blade which looks pretty. Among others.

4) There is a small black and white plastic chair I leave my clothes on. I have owned this chair since I was born. The last time I sat in it I was fifteen. I was reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I was sitting there all night to finish it.

5) It's OTP is Iron Man USB stick/Captain America mousemat. They arrived togetehr and I haven't had the heart to separate them.

6) My bed has two matrasses, a blanket and an eiderdown to lie on, and is never without at least two duvets. I get very cold at night, and never slept easily.

7) My books are roughly organised into particular sections, with areas for gamebooks, comics and Holocaust stuff. The Holocaust isn't organised beyond that, os The Boy With the Striped Pyjamas is sharing space with Martin Gilbert's Atlas of the Holocaust.

8) On that subject, the books I use for my dissertation live either on my bed, or on my chair. They migrate between the two, and if I want to move I have to get them out of the way first. It is an attempt to annoy myself into working.

9) The room has a number of small alcove in the walls. My bookshelves, wardrobe and desk fit them perfectly, if this room was a tetris line, it would not exist.

10) I own a huge leather cushion. Because I saw it and thought I really needed one.


May. 13th, 2012 01:02 am
skull_bearer: (Default)
At first I was like:

Then I was like:

But now I have to say:

Opera is kinda cool guys. Don't think I'll regret ditching Firefox.
skull_bearer: (Default)

What is the best and worst quality about mankind?

Submitted By [info]zolohuff

View 287 Answers

Our ability to get together in little (or big) groups and decide that laws of nature, reality and common sense be damned, we are DOING this thing!

I leave it to you to fill in the worst and best examples of those.
skull_bearer: (Default)

What is your favorite holiday carol or song?

View 664 Answers

Or, more seriously:

(If someone could write a Charles/Erik fic in this theme, I would eb the best Xmas present ever [except for a copy of Mass Effect 3 Ciollecctors ed- never mind])
skull_bearer: (Default)

What is your favorite holiday carol or song?

View 664 Answers

Or, more seriously:

(If someone could write a Charles/Erik fic in this theme, I would eb the best Xmas present ever [except for a copy of Mass Effect 3 Ciollecctors ed- never mind])

Meme rec

Oct. 24th, 2011 12:32 pm
skull_bearer: (Default)

What is your favorite childhood fairytale?

<input ... > View 571 Answers

Never really had one, but if it's fairy-tles you want, there's a great X:FC retelling of the Juniper Tree here. Note the warnings, seriously. This migth be one of my favourite fics in this fandom.

Meme rec

Oct. 24th, 2011 12:32 pm
skull_bearer: (Default)

What is your favorite childhood fairytale?

<input ... > View 571 Answers

Never really had one, but if it's fairy-tles you want, there's a great X:FC retelling of the Juniper Tree here. Note the warnings, seriously. This migth be one of my favourite fics in this fandom.
skull_bearer: (Default)

What is your favorite word, and why?

<input ... > View 678 Answers

Daguerreotype. Because it is totally awesome. I think it's probably the most beautiful word I've found, and it's a kind of early photograph.
skull_bearer: (Default)

What is your favorite word, and why?

<input ... > View 678 Answers

Daguerreotype. Because it is totally awesome. I think it's probably the most beautiful word I've found, and it's a kind of early photograph.


Sep. 20th, 2011 02:24 am
skull_bearer: (Default)
Comment to this post, and I will list five things I associate with you. They might make sense or they might be totally random. Then post that list, with your commentary, to your LJ (or just add a reply back at me). Other people (including me) can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself.


Sep. 20th, 2011 02:24 am
skull_bearer: (Default)
Comment to this post, and I will list five things I associate with you. They might make sense or they might be totally random. Then post that list, with your commentary, to your LJ (or just add a reply back at me). Other people (including me) can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself.

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