I need to stop worrying about my parents so much, they have their lives and as much as I want to I can't help them, all I'm doing is being dragged down with them. I need to stop thinking that the world would fall apart without me because there's nothing I could do about it anyway. My fears of leaving my mother alone are the main reason i haven't moved away yet, I can see that. And guess what? My mother sorted it out anyway, and would have whether I liked it or not. I need to live my own life.

Right. Now I need to bring myself to believe all this.

Where I got the idea I'm self-centered, I'll never know.

In other news, I've just finished reading 'The Man with the Iron Heart' by Harry Turtledove, an alternate history book with a great premise- What if Reinhardt Heydrich had survived the assasination attempt and led a terrorist resistrance against the occupying allied armies. Like all of Turtledove's books, the premise is great, the execution is realistic, there's a nice use of mitigating factors that keep it at once true-to-life and interesting, and it's painfully clear that he's really not a very good writer.

My father's birthday party is tomorrow, Friday the 13th. It's perfectly fitting and I can't help but giggle.
Started learning German again, properly this time, with actual lessons. It's going pretty well, and I think everyone there has gotten used to my giggling like a retard throughout the class. Promoting the nazis to 'main character' status has paid off magnificently, because they and the mutants know that any actions on their part which the opposition shows objection to could lead into a war of mutually assured destruction, so WW3 has gone cold and I can learn German without Erik screaming in my ears. Peace at last.

I just finished reading 'The Phantom of the Opera', and wanted to rant a little.The book was great, however it crystallises a problemI have with certain kindsof romance. I have only seen het examples of this, but I can't say I'd like a slash version any better. 
Childhood sweethearts becoming lovers.
Note, this doesn't count if the two have grown up entirely together, in fact, I would rate that above most relationships since I like my pairings with a lot of water under the bridge. No, I'm talking about when two children are best friends or even plan to marry as children (extra ick), then are separated, and when reunited fall in love utterly.

The obvious example of this, of course, is Tanis and Laurana, and that's bad enough, but the Christine/Raoul relationship in Phantom is even worse. The characters have not developed beyond their childhood selves. They haven't changed. Laurana hasn't seen Tanis for decaded, but her love for him is never in question, and really, neither is his. They haven't grown, there is no real sense of rediscovery, they don't need time to catch up because they are stock characters with no depth.
(On a totally unrelated note, I'm afraid Marvel is going to take this stance with a new Magneto mini-series, which makes me pig-biting mad. HANDS OFF MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER!)

In Phantom, there is not even a delay. I know it's turn-of-the-C literature, but it's still like nails on slate. I consider Erik/Christine to be healthier to be honest (and I don't like Erik just because he's got Magneto's name! Yes, I am in denial over this)
Often, the characters have very little in common except their shared past, and that's supposed to be enough. the difference between a child and an adult is enormous. Hell, the difference of a few years can sometimes change a person completely. A lack of catch-up in these stories is also common, and even more jarring.

If they stay together afterwards, which they almost always do, it's even worse. At worst, not only have the characters not changed, but it doesn't look as though they're ever going to change, locked in a timeless limbo they can never escape from. Even at best, I get the feeling that the relationship will not last long.

Anyway, this is my rant for the day. Please do not let it put you off Phantom. It's a great book and I loved it, but god, this is becoming a pet bitch.
 

 I got sent this messaqge from my ff.net account today:

penname: AnimeRebel014
profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1089562/
--------------------

I was wondering if perhaps you could write a Slash X-men story centered
around Remmy(Gambit)and his lover an OC named Ravyn(Whisper). Ravyn has
silversilky waist long hair and golden eyes.

His powers are over his voice which he could do almost anything with
fromsoothing someone, encouraging someone to heal, hypnothise, hurt someone
etc., he also could teleport like Kurt, has enhanced senses and healing
factor.

Noone knows about Remy's Ravyn yet but when found out some will
defenatly be shocked and maybe 1 or 2 angry/jelous.


Please let me know if you're interested and could write a story from
those details. ^_^

I sent them a message back telling them that I felt insulted that they'd even consider me for something quite that awful. I threw up a little in my mouth when I read the description. Quite frankly, I'd rather bathe in maggots.

I'm watching a program about that guy in Germany who ate his boyfriend. I'm not enjoying it because I kinda think that if someone wants to be eaten and you want to eat him, then hey, feel free. It's not as though he's murdering random people like Hannibal. Unfortuantely the program is treating this like the last Lecter film, and seem to be desperate for us to agree that the poor bastard deserves to remain behind bars. When what he really did was little worse than assisting suicide (cannbalism wasn't illegal in Germany at the time).
Dude, the guy was catering to cannibal fetishes, and the vast majority of people he met through this he didn't eat because they didn't want to die. Get it? They wanted him to pretend to eat them, but not to really do it. If the guy really was a psychopath, do you think they'd have left alive? But they did, and somehow, no matter how much you flash strobe lights at me and graphically describe his fantasies, you still can't convince me this guy is a threat to society.

The real cherry on the cake was when I finally lost interest and changd channel, only to see that my other choices were 'Kill the Man', 'Rambo III', or 'Military campaigns of WW2'.

There's something slightly wrong here.

Yep, I do feel better.