Spiderman 3
May. 7th, 2007 08:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skull_bearerDear Parker: Die. Just die. And take your stupid Hitler-hair with you. Die and come back as a zombie because that's the closest you'll ever get to Goth you stupid little person.
Actually, that would have been pretty cool. Zombifying characters is so totally the way to save a crap film. Go zombies!
And on that subject...
Dear Venom: You are cool. Cool as a very cool thing, though I dispute the wisdom of binding to Parker. You shoudl have stuck to the motorbike. We both know the real reason you unbound from him, he didn't force you out, you ran away in disgust. I totally relate. I want your teeth.
Dear Person-Venom-Posessed: Going to a church and praying to a man dying on a cross to kill the guy who got you fired is so not cool. I'd tell you to get a life, but... you kinda did, didn't you? Venom rocks. You also have cool teeth.
Dear Sandman: If you want to be seen as a sympathetic charcter who only wants to save his sick daughter, don't kill so many people. Sneak into a bank at night (I doubt even safes are airtight) and take all the money. Hell, do it in daylight! They couldn't stop you then either. Drop it on your ex-wife's doorstep and voila! End of trouble. If Parker tries to stop you, hey, you're only doing this to help your kid, and you didn't hurt anyone! Moral high ground.
Dear Mary-Jane: Your romance with Parker was actually believable, and while I dispute the wisom of staying with him when there are sweethearts like Harry Osborn in the offering.
Dear Gwen Stacy: You were a bit 'pasted on yay!' and rather too blond, but you walked out on Parker when he was being an arsehat and behaved like a very nice person, so I like you. It's nice when directors managed to make characters properly likeable *huggles the only bit of subtlety in this film*.
Dear Harry Osborn: I love you. Seriously. Your storyarc was the only one I was really invested it, it worked, which is more than I can say for a lot of the others. I think it's because Parker was only peripherally involved. I want your goblin helmet, although your dad still rules with his surfboard. You should so not have died.
Dear Aunt May: I hate it when people try to emotionally manipulate me with so little subtlety. Die and take your storyline with you.
Dear subtlety: Where the hell were you? Did someone hit the director with the 'stupidity' mallet after the second film?
Dear Skull Bearer: *bleaches brain to forget Parker's psudo-goth-hollywood-emo-boyband moment* Gnaaaa.... *huggles Harry, and Venom, and zombies*
Skull Bearer.
Actually, that would have been pretty cool. Zombifying characters is so totally the way to save a crap film. Go zombies!
And on that subject...
Dear Venom: You are cool. Cool as a very cool thing, though I dispute the wisdom of binding to Parker. You shoudl have stuck to the motorbike. We both know the real reason you unbound from him, he didn't force you out, you ran away in disgust. I totally relate. I want your teeth.
Dear Person-Venom-Posessed: Going to a church and praying to a man dying on a cross to kill the guy who got you fired is so not cool. I'd tell you to get a life, but... you kinda did, didn't you? Venom rocks. You also have cool teeth.
Dear Sandman: If you want to be seen as a sympathetic charcter who only wants to save his sick daughter, don't kill so many people. Sneak into a bank at night (I doubt even safes are airtight) and take all the money. Hell, do it in daylight! They couldn't stop you then either. Drop it on your ex-wife's doorstep and voila! End of trouble. If Parker tries to stop you, hey, you're only doing this to help your kid, and you didn't hurt anyone! Moral high ground.
Dear Mary-Jane: Your romance with Parker was actually believable, and while I dispute the wisom of staying with him when there are sweethearts like Harry Osborn in the offering.
Dear Gwen Stacy: You were a bit 'pasted on yay!' and rather too blond, but you walked out on Parker when he was being an arsehat and behaved like a very nice person, so I like you. It's nice when directors managed to make characters properly likeable *huggles the only bit of subtlety in this film*.
Dear Harry Osborn: I love you. Seriously. Your storyarc was the only one I was really invested it, it worked, which is more than I can say for a lot of the others. I think it's because Parker was only peripherally involved. I want your goblin helmet, although your dad still rules with his surfboard. You should so not have died.
Dear Aunt May: I hate it when people try to emotionally manipulate me with so little subtlety. Die and take your storyline with you.
Dear subtlety: Where the hell were you? Did someone hit the director with the 'stupidity' mallet after the second film?
Dear Skull Bearer: *bleaches brain to forget Parker's psudo-goth-hollywood-emo-boyband moment* Gnaaaa.... *huggles Harry, and Venom, and zombies*
Skull Bearer.
