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It as though someone had been holding him by the throat for years, tight and crushing for years, and for the first time since he could remember, that grip had loosened.
Good, Eddie, Venom murmurs as Eddie spoons up the chocolate yogurt. Tasty, feels good.
And- it does. He isn’t too mad about the over-sweet taste, but after eating it there’s a sort of warm bloom inside his head, like the sun briefly breaking through the clouds.
“Ms Ruby wants to talk to you, Eddie,” one of the aids leans over their table.
He’s never bothered to learn their names before, it seemed like too much effort when everything was so… heavy, but now it seems a bit rude, Eddie peers at her nametag, Debra. Eddie gives her a smile and it even seems to come out right. “Okay.”
“She’s in her office.”
Eddie stacks away his plates, and is halfway down the hallway before it occurs to him he used to be scared. The other voices in his head should be gloating at him, delighting in the trouble he would be in, of what terrible things Ms Ruby would say to him.
No, Venom purrs, No more, never any more now, Eddie.
He sounds smug, and Eddie wonders if he’s finally managed to eat the other voices, pictures Venom curled up warm and satisfied inside his head, licking his claws and gloating over his meal.
Yes.
Eddie blinks back tears and hugs himself, hopes Venom can feel it too. “Thank you.”
Safe with us, Eddie.
Eddie nods, and pushes Ms Ruby’s door open.
Ms Ruby gives him a bright and truly happy smile as he comes in. “Ah, Eddie. Come and sit down, please.”
Eddie shuffles in and slides into the chair, pulling up a knee and hugging it.
“How do you think things have been, Eddie?”
Eddie frowns a little, “Good?” Because- it has been good. He’s been sleeping and eating properly for the first time in years. Venom is a warm and comforting weight in the back of his mind.
“I think it’s been a bit more than good, hasn’t it, Eddie?”
“Yes?” He’s not sure where she’s going with this.
“This isn’t a trick, Eddie. I do want to know.”
Eddie looks away, feels Venom rumble in pleasure inside him. “Yes.” He says more firmly. “It’s been- it’s been really good.”
“Good, because I want to consider moving you to our out-patient list.”
Eddie freezes, and the terror seizes him by the throat. The world outside gapes open and endless and bleak as the endless winter sea and he can’t he can’t he can’t-
“Eddie!”
EDDIE!
And Venom just- floods through him, all heat and comfort as a hug over every inch of his body, and it feels so sweet and good Eddie nearly bursts into tears here and there.
“Okay, Eddie, it’s okay.” Ms Ruby pats his shoulder, “You’ve been doing so well, Eddie, think about your studies? Don’t you want to go back to university, and finish your degree?”
Eddie looks at his hands, those days seem so far away. Like they belonged to someone else. There’s an ache, though, deep inside. His old, worn out dreams of being a reporter, so distant they might as well be on the moon.
Can do it, Eddie, Venom nudges inside his head, Together.
And- that’s another problem. “I’m not better, thought.” Eddie mumbles, and prods his head. “I’ve still got voices- a voice, anyway.”
“This is Venom, yes?” She sits back down, smiling.
“Yeah.” Eddie’s heart aches. “That’s Venom.” If keeping Venom means staying here forever- he’s okay with that.
Eddie-
“Eddie,” Ms Ruby leans forwards, her eyes soft. “Do you know how many people I’ve met who have voices like yours?”
None like me.
“I don’t think anyone does.” Eddie shrugs.
“Oh, more than you think. People have all sorts of ways of dealing with the world. They talk to voices, they see themselves as entirely new people, they have little ticks and habits that anyone would think are weird. Do you know what’s different about those people, and the people in here?”
Eddie shakes his head, he’s feeling too adrift, too alone-
Never alone.
“They are happy.” She shrugs. “They can work and live and have complete, happy lives. And I think you, Eddie, can manage that now.”
“With Venom?”
“If he makes you happy.”
Eddie closes his eyes, “He does.”
“Then you’re just as sane as most people these days.”
It as though someone had been holding him by the throat for years, tight and crushing for years, and for the first time since he could remember, that grip had loosened.
Good, Eddie, Venom murmurs as Eddie spoons up the chocolate yogurt. Tasty, feels good.
And- it does. He isn’t too mad about the over-sweet taste, but after eating it there’s a sort of warm bloom inside his head, like the sun briefly breaking through the clouds.
“Ms Ruby wants to talk to you, Eddie,” one of the aids leans over their table.
He’s never bothered to learn their names before, it seemed like too much effort when everything was so… heavy, but now it seems a bit rude, Eddie peers at her nametag, Debra. Eddie gives her a smile and it even seems to come out right. “Okay.”
“She’s in her office.”
Eddie stacks away his plates, and is halfway down the hallway before it occurs to him he used to be scared. The other voices in his head should be gloating at him, delighting in the trouble he would be in, of what terrible things Ms Ruby would say to him.
No, Venom purrs, No more, never any more now, Eddie.
He sounds smug, and Eddie wonders if he’s finally managed to eat the other voices, pictures Venom curled up warm and satisfied inside his head, licking his claws and gloating over his meal.
Yes.
Eddie blinks back tears and hugs himself, hopes Venom can feel it too. “Thank you.”
Safe with us, Eddie.
Eddie nods, and pushes Ms Ruby’s door open.
Ms Ruby gives him a bright and truly happy smile as he comes in. “Ah, Eddie. Come and sit down, please.”
Eddie shuffles in and slides into the chair, pulling up a knee and hugging it.
“How do you think things have been, Eddie?”
Eddie frowns a little, “Good?” Because- it has been good. He’s been sleeping and eating properly for the first time in years. Venom is a warm and comforting weight in the back of his mind.
“I think it’s been a bit more than good, hasn’t it, Eddie?”
“Yes?” He’s not sure where she’s going with this.
“This isn’t a trick, Eddie. I do want to know.”
Eddie looks away, feels Venom rumble in pleasure inside him. “Yes.” He says more firmly. “It’s been- it’s been really good.”
“Good, because I want to consider moving you to our out-patient list.”
Eddie freezes, and the terror seizes him by the throat. The world outside gapes open and endless and bleak as the endless winter sea and he can’t he can’t he can’t-
“Eddie!”
EDDIE!
And Venom just- floods through him, all heat and comfort as a hug over every inch of his body, and it feels so sweet and good Eddie nearly bursts into tears here and there.
“Okay, Eddie, it’s okay.” Ms Ruby pats his shoulder, “You’ve been doing so well, Eddie, think about your studies? Don’t you want to go back to university, and finish your degree?”
Eddie looks at his hands, those days seem so far away. Like they belonged to someone else. There’s an ache, though, deep inside. His old, worn out dreams of being a reporter, so distant they might as well be on the moon.
Can do it, Eddie, Venom nudges inside his head, Together.
And- that’s another problem. “I’m not better, thought.” Eddie mumbles, and prods his head. “I’ve still got voices- a voice, anyway.”
“This is Venom, yes?” She sits back down, smiling.
“Yeah.” Eddie’s heart aches. “That’s Venom.” If keeping Venom means staying here forever- he’s okay with that.
Eddie-
“Eddie,” Ms Ruby leans forwards, her eyes soft. “Do you know how many people I’ve met who have voices like yours?”
None like me.
“I don’t think anyone does.” Eddie shrugs.
“Oh, more than you think. People have all sorts of ways of dealing with the world. They talk to voices, they see themselves as entirely new people, they have little ticks and habits that anyone would think are weird. Do you know what’s different about those people, and the people in here?”
Eddie shakes his head, he’s feeling too adrift, too alone-
Never alone.
“They are happy.” She shrugs. “They can work and live and have complete, happy lives. And I think you, Eddie, can manage that now.”
“With Venom?”
“If he makes you happy.”
Eddie closes his eyes, “He does.”
“Then you’re just as sane as most people these days.”