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via http://ift.tt/2xVGfP7:In which Tony has a Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad week - Skull_Bearer - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own]:

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Clint Barton/Tony Stark, (background), Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov
Characters: Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Bruce Banner, Clint Barton, Aldrich Killian, Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Dummy (Iron Man movies), You (Iron Man movies), Butterfingers (Iron Man movies), James “Rhodey” Rhodes, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omegaverse, Gore, Violence, but nothing happens, Basically Killian being a major creep, fuck that guy, Extremis, Comic Extremis, Transhumanism, Omega Tony, Alpha Killian, Beta Pepper, Alpha Rhodey, Alpha Steve, Beta Natasha, Omega Clint, Omega Bruce, Reference to sexual assault
Series: Part 8 of Sex, Love and Robotics
Summary:

Tony’s about to go into Heat, but now there’s Killian, and Extremis, and SHIELD isn’t what it seems.
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valeriahearth:

In most of the fic I read, especially those sympathetic to Tony, I kinda find it funny that Bucky Barnes seemed to be the only one deserving of Tony’s forgiveness, or whose olive branch was kinda shorter, while others (steve, clint, sometimes even wanda and/or natasha, but especially Steve, but Scott doesn’t count) suffer and being stupid and being hypocrites or downright miserable. The guy who whose face was forever painted as his mother’s killer, also Steve’s best friend and probably the whole reason Steve was getting blinded in his cause to the point of ‘civil war’ seemed to be the guy Tony would forgive first once he got time to think and calm down before he could even get pass at forgiving anyone else. So yeah, as a winteriron fan I am very amused.

Tony, cutting all ties to Steve? Whelp, I can totally see that. Clint? Well, he did say a mean thing straight into the bullseye, which is a very hurtful thing to do and if Tony doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore I can get behind that. Wanda? The woman doesn’t listen to anything as long as it came out of Tony’s mouth, and repeating the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is the very definition of insanity, so if he stopped trying I’ll understand. Natasha? She tried in her spy way, but if Tony doesn’t want that ambiguous friendship where Tony doesn’t ever know when she’ll stab him again then so be it. Sam? He’s at this place that could go either way. He seemed like the most neutral after Scott in the whole fight, but his obvious preference to Cap also kinda blinds him. Then again, he and Tony was never close. He could be the second guy after Bucky to get forgiven, since he actually cared about Rhodey.

Buvky, though? I can’t see a version of Tony Stark where he doesn’t have a conversation with the guy and actually have a budding friendship and actually try to help the guy, like he said before the airport fight. Maybe they won’t be friends. Maybe there won’t trust between them either. But, I can see them always having a tolerance that Tony won’t have with the others. Except Scott.

So, yeah. As the guy whose hands killed Tony’s parents, he seemed to be much easier for Tony to forgive than his ex-teammates. The drama and the tragic outcome of this revelation really fuels my half-buried feels.

I think this is because firstly, Bucky doesn’t have the toxic history many of the Avengers have with Tony. The Avengers had a lot of problems with Tony even before Civil War, and Bucky had nothing to do with it. 

Secondly, Bucky was written very badly in Civil War and as a result was so passive that of he was female he would have failed the sexy lamp test. As a result he is the only Team Cap member to not deliberately choose to go against Tony, and not to be such an utter prat about the accords.

Basically, of all of Team Cap, the only one who haven’t seen refuse, over and over, to meet Tony halfway (apart from Scott) is Bucky. As a result, both tend to be more sympathetic in Team Tony fics. 
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starkwest:

marvelousmavrel:

silv3rdoe:

tonys-bucky:

starkwest:

Dear anon. Re: ‘Tony Stark is nothing without Pepper’.

In the words of the incomparable Jules Winnfield “allow me to retort ”.

Why do I ’hate Iron Man 3’?

There are too many reasons to mention. In a nutshell: The script/character improbability/continuity/destruction of the suits/the ridiculous ‘twist’/directorial style/the removal of the arc reactor.

“Pepper fixes him like she does everything in his life”

I received so many messages and comments on how Tony ‘dominates’ Pepper’s life. How she does ‘everything’ for him. How he doesn’t ‘appreciate’ her. That she has ‘no life of her own because of him’. Honestly, the woman is a grown-up. She’s apparently smart enough to helm a company that leads the world so I’m fairly sure that if she feels Tony is ruining her life she could make a clean break and leave the man. Instead, she decides. “Hey, this man that I’ve known for some many years now, this man that I am with daily, that I know full and well what kind of man he is going into this relationship? I’m honestly sick of his ‘distractions’ and his ‘machines’ and his not being there for me. I’m going to bitch and complain at him until he makes me his first priority. Even though he was explicitly clear that the suit and the mission are paramount in his life.” Fair enough, her emotions, her call. However, to take on this man, this man who is so very obviously complex and unique, a man who she knows has deep seated issues with trust and giving his love, and for very good reasons, and then to try and change him and make him feel there is something fundamentally wrong with him at a time when he is emotionally falling apart is wrong. Just wrong.

People hold these two up as a guiding light of relationships but all I see is toxicity. In the original Iron Man, they were cute and there was the start of a chemistry. Pepper resembled Pepper from the comics. In Iron Man 2 there isn’t even a shadow of the strong and capable woman Pepper is. She is shrill and manipulative. Her lines become throw away and barbed “Not everyone runs on batteries, Tony”? When Tony, the man whom she knows has a difficult time expressing himself intimately, is so obviously reaching out to her? It’s cold and difficult to watch. By IM3, Pepper is a caricature. I took a ration of shit over the post I made commenting that her walking out on him during his panic attack was wrong. A ton of shit. But I stand by it. I get that some people felt she felt unsafe and needed to remove herself from him. However, her man is in pain, he asks her, all but begs her not to leave, and I do understand that she was shaken, that she may have needed to put a room between them but to throw ”tinker with that” at him as she left? Cold beyond words.

Tony is a mess you say? He has issues? Let’s just examine those ‘issues’ shall we.

Anthony Stark is a genius. Seriously, the man is brilliant. And with that brilliance comes all it’s attendant issues. We’re not just talking ‘good grades’ smart here. He is the second smartest man in the world. Like off the chart brilliant. He doesn’t see the world as others do. He views, processes and follows through differently. Not because he’s a ’dick’ or ‘immature’, but because his brain is programmed that way. This man was taken from his home, from his admittedly small family, but family none the less and held prisoner for 3 months. During which he was given open heart surgery with no anesthetic. They physically tied him down and cut into him, broke apart his rib cage and rearrange his chest. All while he was awake. Then they tortured him. Yeah, he came out of that cave with issues all right. Yet this ‘immature man’ took that incident and built his way out. No tools. No computers. Just his hands and his mind. Then he gets home and the man he sees as his father, the man whose shoulder he cried on at his parent’s funeral, the man he who looked up to and loved, reaches into his chest and tries to kill him. Then he almost dies from heavy metal poisoning and THEN to top it all off, he flies a nuke into space. Let’s hear it again for Tony’s “self destructive issues’ shall we.

“His company would be nothing without her.”

Nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing. Tony Stark was left a company by his father that was worth millions. He took that company (at the age of twenty-one, a scant few years after the death of both his parents left him an orphan, barely out of his teens) and made it profitable to the tune of billions. That sprawling Malibu mansion? Tony designed, built and paid for it. All those cars? Tony paid for. The office complexes you see in the movie? Tony. Not Pepper. All of this was done years before she even entered the picture as his PA. He loses everything in 616 and rebuilds. Tony does, not Pepper. Tony is the intelligence, the resource and the driving force behind both Stark Industries and Stark Resilient. Pepper may ‘run’ his company, but every design, every decision, every plan goes over Tony’s desk. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. Pepper may schedule meetings for him but it is Tony that goes in there and owns the room. Tony was born for this, groomed for this. Tony is the one who learned to navigate the corporate world and all it’s sharks at a very young age. Learned it, breathed it and lived it until the language of business is his native tongue. It is in his blood.

Tony loves Pepper but he can and will survive without her. Don’t underestimate him. It takes more than a suit of armor to be Iron Man. It takes courage, intelligence, commitment and brute strength. No matter what you take from him, Tony will always come back. Toss him to the curb and he will get back up and beat the curb down. Help is always appreciated but he will do it alone if he has to. His company. His tech. His life. Pepper is his CEO not the savior of his world. He has been trodden down over and over, from the abuse he suffered at his father’s hand, through Stane’s own abuse and betrayal. Through kidnappings and beatings, Through stolen tech and the destruction of his family, his life and his company and it is Tony alone who has pulled it all back together.

**

Ok.

So I’ve seen this post a few times now, and while initially I was fine to just leave it be and accept it as someone expressing their opinion, after having seen it now for the fourth time, it’s really starting to bother me; especially since there has been no rebuttal and the general consensus seems to be to accept the argument as it stands.

While I agree with the sentiment that Tony is NOT nothing without Pepper (because the idea that he is not a person unto himself is ridiculous and the anon message you received was completely baseless), the fact that this entire argument seems to have been bridled down to: their relationship is toxic and the blame for this toxicity lies heavily if not solely on Pepper Potts is deeply troubling and factually incorrect - as if the birth and the nature of their relationship was somehow orchestrated/manipulated by her and her alone.

What has to be appreciated is the fact that it takes the consent of BOTH parties to get into a relationship, ergo BOTH persons should be aware of exactly what it is they are entering into.

When Tony first kissed Pepper on that rooftop, he would have been well aware of what he would consider as his personal limitations, before pursuing a romantic relationship with her.

At the time, he would have made this CHOICE, his own, understanding that in order to sustain this relationship, compromises would have to be made. Because that’s how adult relationships work. Through compromise. Also important to note, Pepper did not coerce him into a relationship.

Now, onto the important aspect of why issues later arose in this relationship, where I should explicitly state, that entire blame should not be dumped onto Pepper Potts. No rational person, particularly one that is not super powered, should be expected to be absolutely okay with their significant other putting their lives constantly at risk. No one.

Pepper had to watch her then-boss, her friend, be held and tortured, not knowing if he would ever make it out alive, she had to watch her now-partner carry a nuke into space, at that time, likely of the idea that he would surely die. Then in Iron Man 3, she witnesses him go down hill, creating more and more suits, not sleeping, not confiding in her as to what was going on, before getting attacked in her sleep by one of his creations, without any real explanation.

Pepper is only human. She reacted the same as any person would. You talk about how she walked out on Tony when he was having a ptsd episode (which in fact was a nightmare), when I can argue the same, that she walked away after having been scared for her life. So are you saying that the importance of Tony’s experience in that particular situation outweighed hers? On what merit? Because her ‘man was in pain’????

When Tony finally draws the courage in IM3 to talk to her about his fears, her reaction ISN’T to turn away from him, but to sympathise. She then proceeds to stand by him the. entire. time. Despite Tony threatening terrorists, despite the Malibu mansion bombing, despite what Aldrich Killian did to her (because he held a grudge against Tony), despite Extremis, despite almost dying. She stands by Tony’s bedside while he undergoes his surgery because, “You’re all I have too, you know.“

If Tony, at any point in their relationship, had qualms with what Pepper was supposedly ‘making him give up’, then he was well within his rights to end the relationship then and there. Fact is, he didn’t. Because he himself, realised that relationships need work, it’s give and take. He couldn’t expect to remain reclusive/unresponsive every time she would request that he open up to her - re: Iron Man 2 plane scene + entirety of Iron Man 3.

So he does what he believes is compromise for him: he blows up his suits. Once again, a decision he made of his own accord, his own free will. Pepper did not at any point, force him to do this.

Then Ultron happens. And they go on a ‘break’. Understandably. Tony had essentially gone back on his compromise and Pepper rightfully so, would need space, to re-evaluate their relationship. A fact which Tony takes responsibility for.

No body doubts Tony’s ‘courage, intelligence, commitment and brute strength,’ but the fact still remains, that throughout the entirety of Civil War, he is miserable and Pepper weighs heavily on his mind, because as he so clearly declared in Iron Man 3, she is the ‘one thing I can’t live without.’

Once again - his words, his choice, his actions.

As for the anon’s claim of Tony’s company being nothing without Pepper, they have to clearly be trolling because that entire statement is without substance. Though it is important to accept that it was once again, Tony’s choice, to make Pepper CEO (again, she did not force his hand). Because he trusts her, undeniably, without question, obviously above anyone else. He knows that she is responsible, reliable and most certainly capable of overseeing S.I. That decision was not on a whim, and if you give credit to his genius, then you know he thought long and hard about it. Sure Tony Stark turned S.I. into what it is today, but who would ensure that as his successor, S.I. would not be run into the ground?

Yes Tony Stark is Iron Man, yes he is a genius, yes he has suffered much in his 46 years of life but not everyone in his life should be expected to conform to him. That’s not how reality works. The world does not change to accommodate you. You have to understand your limitations and be willing to compromise, otherwise it can end up being a very lonely life.

Also, I really didn’t want to go here, but I have to say, that this seems very rich coming from anyone who would support stony (yes that includes in any universe, not just the mcu) when for one, they have never been in a romantic relationship, and secondly would rather go to war with each other (in almost every universe) than be willing to compromise. Talk about the very definition of toxic. But seeing as I have very much to say about this non-existent relationship, I will leave that for another day.

Pepper Potts deserves many good things in her life. Criticism for a supposed failed relationship with Tony Stark where she DID NOT in fact, ‘bitch and moan at him until he makes me his first priority’, is most certainly not something she would ever deserve.

While it may seem like Tony Stark needs protection from the world, what say we focus on protecting the relationships he, himself considers very important to him. Instead of shooting holes into and tearing down the ironfam, why not nurture it and cherish it in a time when it feels like everybody else has let down terribly the man we all care about as fans.

#one of my friend’s texted me about this post so I came online just to reblog Juliet’s response#thank the gods for her because existing in this fandom is going to drive me to the point of insanity#I cannot believe this argument is still going around that pepper is to blame for any issues in the pepperony relationship#how abhorrent is this narrative??? like Juliet said it takes 2 people to sustain a relationship#not for one person to completely change how they feel to suit the other#it’s as if pepper isn’t allowed to have genuine concerns lest it take away from tony being iron man like lmao wtf????#when this relationship took off iron man was still new so how was pepper to know that tony would continue to risk his life#something she was supposed to accept without compromise???#if tony would have talked to her about any issues he had then she would have been aware of what was going on with him#you can’t enter a relationship and expect the other person to constantly accomodate for you#I understand the wilful need to constantly defend tony against nay sayers but when you reach into the realms of excusing all his actions#especially by pitting him against genuinely good people like pepper potts then you and I are going to have serious issues#because then you end up being no different from cap stans that do the same thing with barnes and tony#Also coming from stony fans this is the most hilarious thing because tony will NEVER care for rogers in even remotely the same way (via @tinmantonystark)

#I can’t believe I had to read op’s post with my own two eyes in 2016#wtf is wrong with the people just going all with this thinking it’s even remotely a good critique of pepper and her relationship with tony#??????#the fact that op fell for the bait of pitting pepper against tony is incredible#and all the stony blogs going along with it because they don’t like her getting in between their non existent ship#stop trying to tear down the actual relationships tony has#otherwise you’re going to reduce him to living out the rest of his days all alone#I know y'all like to complain about every single thing and live in your sea of depression#but maybe like chill for one second and enjoy the positive aspects of tony stark’s life good god (via @confused-em0)

#o.m.G#what is wrong with this fandom#are any of y'all ever satisfied with anything?????#like I’m genuinely curious#falling for an anon bait to pit pepper against tony??? seriously???#I wouldn’t even care about this post if it weren’t for the number of notes and the type of blogs reblogging this#like popular stony blogs#I mean really???#I expected better from you people#to openly support this unfounded wank towards pepper is deplorable#and you claim to support tony yet you would stand by and let others treat people tony stark really cares for like an inconvenience#wank for ts (via @teamtonysstank)

the amount of willful blindness in op’s post is mind blowing. when will the marvel fandom realise that not all fault lies with the woman in a relationship; blame can also lie with their faves.

Original Poster here:

I, like you, were just going to let this pass by until I read the tags. If you want to call me out on something by all means call away but don’t hide it in the tags.  You are not at all ‘genuinely curious’, if you were, you would have contacted me and asked rather than ranting in the tags. This post was made a year after the IM3 movie came out. So, in January of 2014. That was over two years ago. So the argument isn’t ‘still going around’ This post lay buried (and I do mean buried) in my blog until someone rooted through it (and it must have taken some time) and picked up on it a day or two ago..

I assure you, I am not at all ‘willfully blind’ and I do fully realize that not all fault lies with woman in a relationship. nor was this post made to address that. That, is an agenda you chose to see for yourself.  This is a post about Tony Stark. It is an opinion, an opinion that was written after seeing IM3 when the amount of ire directed toward this character from the Pepper fans was as high and ugly as the flaming between the Stark fans and the Bucky or Cap fans is today.  You are taking substance out of context.,

Finally, should you ever be ‘curious’ about one of my posts in the future, please be courteous enough to come to me directly rather than assuming you know either me, my mind or my viewpoints in a matter that occurred two years in the past. You will find that I am more than willing to debate any Stark meta you choose.

~West~

*epic smackdown of love*

I for one am glad these douchnozzles decided to ressurect this posts because otherwise I could never had read your brilliant articulation of just why MCU Tony/Pepper is one big nope for me.

And for people who still ship it in SLR: Look, I love Pepper, but the character I love existed mostly in IM1 and Avengers 1, and if I wrote her close to how she appears in Im2 and 3, I’d be being burned for shitting on a great female character.
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I’m trying to get back into Pacific Rim after all that Avengers stuff, so does anyone have any prompts? I would also like to doing some Avengers prompts.
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So, while I was wondering how the hell I’m going to fit MCU Wanda into SLR without everyone totally avoiding her, I started thinking about how I would have written Wanda in MCU, dealing with the no mutants limitations and still keeping her as a character we can sympathise with and who’s redemption we can believe.

So, without further ado- presenting new and improved MCU Wanda!

Number one: no HYDRA. No, I don’t want to hear about it. I don’t care how hot Brock Rumlow is. HYDRA are a gang of psychotic neo nazis who mindrape people. The only people who can be defended for working for them are the brainwashed victims (ie Bucky).

So instead, Wanda will be working for the Sokovian People’s Front (not to be mistaken for the People’s Front of Sokovia), a group of freedom fighters/terrorists who are fighting to free Sokovia from an occupying nation- the initial invasion was the cause of the twin’s parent’s deaths. 

(and if we’re getting a bit of a Russia/Ukraine conflict vibe here? Good.)

Number two: Wanda and Pietro have their powers from birth. It’s way too good plot dynamic to let go, even if we can’t use the word mutant. Maybe their mother was exposed to radiation when she was pregnant with them (again, giving us Chenobyl/Ukraine vibes) but either way they were born with powers and developed them over adolescence. Maybe even using them for the first time in the bomb attack that killed their parents. It will mention that they’ve always been outcasts as much due to their powers as to their Jewish/Romani heritage.

So Wanda and Pietro have been used by this band of well intentioned extremists to free their country from a very shitty occupying force. Atrocities are happening but the UN and the world at large just doesn’t want to know. We get a scene of attacks from not!Russia on a village, and the SPF retaliating violently- and innocents being caught in the crossfire. Wanda and Pietro are obviously uncomfortable with this, but don’t feel they have any other recourse.

Then the Avengers come in, looking for HYDRA. Wanda and Pietro now have a very understandable grudge against the Avengers- they have been happily ignoring all the horrible shit going down in Sokovia, and now feel they can just swan in and blow up even more of their country just because they can? The SPF send them in to fight the Avengers partially to win PR (Sokovia is not happy with the Avengers, as we see in the beginning of AoU) but also to show off how powerful their two ‘assets’ are.

Which brings us to point number 3- no mind control. Instead, Wanda and Pietro absolutely wipe the floor with the Avengers. Wanda in particular is shown to be very, very powerful, able to use how powers and control probability to the point where the unprepared Avengers are forced into a fighting retreat. Tony takes the scepter and makes Ultron not because Wanda mind-fucked him, but because he’s terrified if they go up against the twins again, they’re all going to die.

And finally, part 4- Ultron. Ultron doesn’t offer the twins revenge on the Avengers- he’s offering them the liberation of their country. He’s promising that if they side with him against the Avengers, he’ll make sure not!Russia are thrown out.

So this is basically happening while the Avengers are doing various movie things (instead of mindfucking the Hulk, Wanda takes him on a full throw down, drag out fight in Jo’burg, both of them so intent on ending each other they don’t notice the damage they’ve done. When Wanda sees the mess they’ve made, she is clearly shaken and horrified)

However, when she goes back to Sokovia, she sees that while the Ultron controlled Iron legion have thrown out not’Russian forces, the SPF haven’t been any better. there are mass executions, slaughters of not!Russian supporting villages, the extermination of the People’s Front of Sokovia, the works.

She turns to Ultron to get him to stop this mess. But Ultron just shrugs and goes, ‘whateves dude, you’re all going extinct today’. Then the rest of the movie pretty much plays out as canon. Wanda sides with the Avengers against Ultrers, Pietro dies, most of Sokovia is trashed.

This not only make Wanda a more likable character by removing her more egregious crimes (siding with Hydra and mind rape) and villainous motivations ( freeing your country is a hell of a lot more likable than random murder), but also sets the scene for Civil War for more intriguingly. 

The Avengers have seen what happens when they follow the UN- a UN which had no problem letting a country get completely trashed as they quibbled over semantics (coughRwandacough) but at the same time, they see the problem of not having oversight- the SPF were just as bad as not!Russia. This gives both sides valuable points and would make both Cap’s side and Wanda’s decision to join him waaay mroe relevant and compelling than…. well, what we got.

So, in summary, likable flawed-but-redeemable Wanda, and sensible Civil war lead up. 
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Soo I’m finally writing again, have some Avengers fic.

Bruce/Tony, very much G rated. Inspired by a kinkmeme prompt and this pic:

http://ift.tt/2cpP8Hx

Tony doesn’t have time to really see which of their numerous enemies has invaded the tower today. He turns around from rooting in the fridge at the first explosion- and just in time to see the Hulk charge, roaring, towards him.
Tony feels his body go limp around him, his brain catch in a groove and skip a few tracks. The only thing that runs through his head, as the Hulk bares down on him, is- shit, Bruce is really going to hate himself-
Then Hulk grabs him around the waist and tucks him up against his chest, lashing out with his free arm to smash the refrigerator across the room.
It explodes.
Then the microwave explodes.
The kitchen is so full of smoke Tony can’t see what else is going off like hand grenades. He huddles against the Hulk’s chest and screws his watering eyes shut. What is this- Ultron gone Kitchen Nightmares? Some technomancer with a penchant for domestic appliances?
He doesn’t get to find out, the Hulk roars again, punches through the wall, and-
The Hulk’s body tenses, the massive muscles seem to vibrate under him. Tony grits his teeth and takes a deep breath.
The wind howls in his ears as the Hulk jumps, the air cuts through Tony’s mouth and nose, freezes his throat.
The Hulk reaches the top of his arc, and falls.
Tony squeezes his eyes even tighter, clings on, and tries not to whimper when the Hulk’s crushing landing jars every bone in his body.
Three horrible, world-ending jumps, and the Hulk slows down. He grunts. punches the ground, then lets Tony go.
Tony flumps to the grassy ground, rolls over, and throws his arms out to embrace the earth, shivering. The ground is damp and cool, smells fresh and calming. His fingers sink into the crumbling earth, his arm bumps into the solid stalk of something. Above him, he can hear the Hulk grunting happily, thumping around the field, a bee buzzes nearby.

Tony gathers himself, and focuses every ounce of self control. Slowly, he manages to open his eyes.
After seeing nothing but terrifying red shadows behind closed eyes, the light is bright and almost blinding. Tony blinks, and the light resolves itself onto a blazing blue sky, and dappled green leaves shadowing it. Tony blinks, and slowly, gradually, manages to sit up, his stubborn fingers dragging up clods of earth.
He draws in a breath, and slowly, the screaming in his ears starts to calm down.
“I don’t think I’m going to be giving up the suit anytime soon, big guy.” He manages, swallows twice, and is proud he manages not to be sick.
The Hulk grunts, invisible behind a wall of green stalks and leaves. Tony thinks he sees a flash of massive green feet- but here, the Hulk is in perfect camouflage. Tony pulls out his Avenger card, and sends out a signal- tower attacked by exploding appliances, safe with Hulk, in a field of- he looks up and spots the nodding flowers above him, sunflowers at this location.
That seemed to more or less sum it up.
Tony looks down at himself, and takes a deep breath. Come on legs. He fumbles with the thick stalks of the sunflowers, stumbling upright. The sunflowers are so tall he’s barely tall enough to look over them. There’s a road not too far away, a plane soars over high above, and the air is full of bees and the rustling of leaves.
It’s- pretty peaceful , actually, and after that nightmare ride, Tony is quite glad of it.
And ‘peaceful’ isn’t an adjective that should be applied anywhere the Hulk is in. Tony looks around. “Hulk?”
There’s a grunt, but no big green nearby. Tony pushes the sunflowers aside and stumbles towards the sound. “Come on, big green, what’s this? Hide and seek?”
Another grunt, but it sounds amused. Tony shrugs. “Okay, ready or not, here I come-”
There’s a crunching of stalks, and the Hulk suddenly gets up, grinning. He’s festooned with sunflowers. He’s got them in his hair, tied around his arms, shoulders, everything. He’s like a giant walking floral shrub.
The barked laugh takes Tony by surprise. The Hulk chuckles, and pulls out a gaint bundle of sunflowers, holding them up proudly.
“Some farmer is gonna be pretty angry.” Tony pushes his way through the flowers. “I think you’d single-handedly jacked up the price for sunflower oil-”
The Hulk growls, and holds out the flowers.
“Um, yeah?” Tony blinks at the Hulk, uncertain. “Very nice? Very you, big guy. Can’t see you with some daisies or something-”
Another grunt, the flowers are jiggled more pointedly. The yellow petals fan, the rich brown heads bob. “Yours.” The Hulk points at him.
Oh. Tony blinks, holds out his hands and the flowers are poured in, a massive bouquet he needs to wrap his arms around. He’s never been given flowers before.
The Hulk grins happily. “Pretty.” He nods, and pats Tony on the head. “Gold.”
“Yeah,” Tony smiles, back, “Like the suit? Good thinking.”
The Hulk grins, and picks him up. It’s very different from the last time he did it, big hands oddly gentle around Tony’s waist, pulling him up free of the flowers. Tony tenses a moment, then relaxes, lets himself be cradled in a bower of big green arms and sunflowers.
“Save Tony.” Hulk says happily. “Give flowers.”
“Damn right.” Tony sighs, and it’s probably stupid, but right now he’s never felt safer. “My hero.”
“Hulk a hero.” Hulk nods, “Save Tony, give flowers.”
“A real romantic hero.” Tony agrees, patting his arm, he shifts the flowers around to get comfortable, and settles in to wait for the Avengers to pick them up.
He’s going to buy Bruce a whole flowershop when they get back.
skull_bearer: (Default)
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If you have the ‘bad’ kind of mental illness, or deal with it in ways people don’t like: You’re made the villain, no one listens and they always make it your fault, not matter what you do.

If you have the ‘good’ kind of mental illness, or deal with it in ways people approve: People will help you up until it’s clear its going to be too much of a bother, then they prefer to leave you on ice in the hopes you magically get better, rather than supporting you through that long hard road.
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knightinironarmor:

1. consider the number of times tony has been personally insulted/accused (to his face) in canon

2. consider the number of times tony has been personally complimented/reassured (to his face) in canon

3. compare

4. cry

5. and do not hit me back with some shit about how The Crowds Love Him bc i can’t be bothered to have the argument about how that’s not the type of emotional validation someone like him needs

I swear if SLaR Tony was treated the way MCU Tony is… well, he’d have noped right off the team within a week and Jarvis would be in such a steaming rage that any electronic device the avengers touch would have a 50% chance of exploding.
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Yup, it just shows that people who thing Tony is a villain are just reaching for ways to criminalize him and blame him for everything since Steve is a saint.
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So the Avengers end up on the Charity Bake Off and mayhem ensues almost immediately.

Clint knows how to bake only one thing. He can make really, really good flapjacks. Unfortunately the challenge is to make cupcakes. He attempts to cunningly disguise his flapjacks as 12 perfect cupcakes. He fails utterly and gets the Paul Hollywood look..

Tony produces half a dozen flat rubbery things that somehow manage to be raw and burnt at the same time. He is very proud and attempts to decorate them with Iron Man colours, only he doesn’t know how to mix icing either and they end up a weird pinky-orange colour.

Thor attempts to recreate some unearthly delicacy from his homeland. Unfortunately he runs into a snag:

“Have you the nectar of five golden apples?”

”… will seville do?”

“I require this to be beaten with a spoon of solid gold!”

“… we have a mixer?”

“This flour must be made only from the most precious wheat of Asgard’’s golden fields, and watered with only water from the clearest glaciers!”

*entire ingredients team quits on the spot*

He tries it anyway with normal ingredients. The cupcakes explode. At least, eh maintains that’s what happened, Steve thinks it might be because he tried to use Mjolnir to speed up the cooking.

Natasha is very secretive and doesn’t talk about her bake at all, although she comments endlessly on the others’. Finally she produces twelve perfect, dainty, fairy cupcakes, all delicately iced with pink butterflies. No one says anything, but Tony might have broken a rib in restraining himself.

Steve bakes shrunken down versions of the cakes he used to watch his mother make. They are very pretty and well made, and each one is iced to reference a member of the team. Tony tries to pass off Steve’s Iron man cupcake as his own.

And finally… Bruce wins.

Everything think he is going to fail after he Hulks out at the ten minute mark. However, the Hulk ignores the other avengers and the film crew desperately rushing to protect their cakes and camera equipment, snatches up the blocked piping bag that finally sent Bruce over the edge, squeezes a jet of icing out of it that hits Mary Berry in the face, and- face set in concentration- pipes twenty four tiny perfect fondant and icing flowers to decorate his meticulous and delicious rose and cardamon cupcakes.

Paul Hollywood is very glad they were the best. he was not looking forward to telling a grouchy Hulk, resplendent in a green and pink floral apron, that he would be going home this week.
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Tony hosts unexpected guests, and learns new coping mechanisms.

Or- this fic may end up being Tony/Bruce now I have no idea

November 2019

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