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Chapters: 2/?
Fandom: Fallout 4
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: X6-88, Justin Ayo, Courser Character(s) (Fallout), X4-18, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Nate Brooks, Nick Valentine, Institute Character(s)
Additional Tags: Courser fic, The Institute - Freeform, The Nuclear Option, Underground Undercover, Synths, Pro-synth, Anti-Institute, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Slavery, Brainwashing, Gore, Dissociation, Trauma, Violence, Dehumanisation, Abuse, Freedom
Summary:

The Institute is destroyed, and X6 and the Coursers have some hard truths to face, and new choices to make.
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sillyandquiteawkward:

tbh i super hate deacon. hes a good character and all but i cant stand liars, esp people who lie about useless shit. im too gullible and it breaks my trust.

Yeah, Nate never looked at that stupid note until Deacon’s final affinity talk and Nate was so outraged at the sheer shittyness of Deacon’s behaviour (Nate is autistic and struggles with working out what people really mean at the best of times) he never went near Deacon again.
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via http://ift.tt/2wlNNhH:In Arms - Skull_Bearer - Fallout 4 [Archive of Our Own]:

Chapters: 1/?
Fandom: Fallout 4
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: X6-88, Justin Ayo, Courser Character(s) (Fallout), X4-18, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s), Nate Brooks, Nick Valentine
Additional Tags: Courser fic, The Institute - Freeform, The Nuclear Option, Underground Undercover, Synths, Pro-synth, Anti-Institute, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Slavery, Brainwashing, Gore, Dissociation, Trauma
Summary:

Coursers are the best of the Institute. Smart, fast, deadly, brilliant. The Institute, however, is run by humans.

Finally finished by Courser fic. Thank you so much to Bigwinged and Duchess of Trash for their beta!
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Nick isn’t finished yet but I didn’t want to go into more detail without a reference. I really like his expression though. I think he’s having his affinity talk with Nate, at the line “Hell, I was so happy to do it, it was months before I started charging anyone.” 

And Nate is just falling in love like a ton of bricks.
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Nate and Nick have an evening in. There are handcuffs. Nick has a breakthrough. Porn with plot. Possibly plot with porn.

On Ao3 here.
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I’ve got a longish Fallout 4 fic in need of a beta reader. It’s an X6 focused Courser fic, very anti-Institute, very pro-synth. Some violence and attempted non-con warnings, but nothing too graphic.
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bigwinged replied to your post: OC questions for Nate

I love that you made a survivor whose life is better after the war than it was before.

Thank you! I love Nate and it was fun to explore the darker side of a 50s themed pre war world. It also worked really well in terms of gameplay.

Fallout 4 has a bit of a problem with what’s popularly called ‘ludo-narrative dissidence’. Basically, the game is telling you one thing but is asking you to play in exactly the opposite, for example games that whine about violence being bad as you mow down hoards of nameless bad guys.

In Fallout, the game is constantly telling you how badly you want to find Shaun, while endlessly tempting you to do anything but find Shaun. Nate was a way to say ‘fuck it, I’m making a better narrative’. Nate tossed Shaun out of the window and cheerfully skipped off to explore and shoot deathclaws with Nick.
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QUESTIONS FOR YOUR OCs

What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do? I don’t know if meditating counts, but he’s spend a few hours at a stretch praying to Atom. Otherwise, he tends to get twitchy at about the two minute mark.

How easy is it for your character to laugh? Very easy. Hell, Nate makes himself laugh sometimes. He’ll just be walking along and then starts chuckling to himself because he thought of something funny.

How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?) Cuddling. Nate like to hug someone or something when falling asleep. Usually Nick, but other repeat offenders are his bag, Dogmeat, his gun Apex (safely unloaded), and once, Piper’s leg. She just sorta laughed about it and tried not to make him because it was too cute.

How easy is it to earn their trust? Quite easy. Nate tends to trust easily (too easily, some might say), but Nate prefers it that way. He’d rather take the knocks than live any other way.

How easy is it to earn their mistrust? Actually quite hard. Nate tends not top take things personally, so some rando double crossing him is more likely just to get a shrug and a bullet to the head (didn’t say it was a smart rando) than actually get Nate angry. It takes either a betrayal of serious existing trust, so something absolutely heinous to get Nate mad.

Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable? Definitely more on the flexible side. The Commonwealth is rough, and Nate is willing to forgive a lot of crimes if committed in the name of survival.

What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling? Books, and libraries. A swimming pool once. He does not enjoy the feeling. It’s only a few steps removed from flashbacks and even pleasant memories feel like a betrayal.

What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child Told to stop tinkering with shit. Oh wow the number of radios, televisions and random crap he must have taken apart and ruined. Told to start getting out more and making friends. Nate found it very hard to make friends and assumed that it would be easier when he got older. And it was! He has lots of friends in the Commonwealth.

Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word? Oh yes, Nate swears. Shit fuck cock bastard asshole motherfucker. He can’t remember when he started. Somewhere his parents couldn’t hear him, that’s for sure.

What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them? Nate was never much one for lying. Maybe it would have been better for him if he was, but like being suspicious, this seems to be a trait for a Nate Brooks that does not exist. Besides, he believes lies cause more trouble than they’re worth, in the long run.

How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)? Clarification, or, if that fails. Nate will just point out he has no idea what is going on and just let the situation drift around him, aimlessly, and hope someone else (usually Nick) understands.

How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach? Oh wow, I suddenly had an image of Nate using Apex to scratch an itch and everyone just staring because Nate that is not a good idea wtf.

What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color? Red, and he does look very nice in red. Nate is definitely an autumn.

What animal do they fear most? Humans. Nate isn’t really scared of animals, even after the bombs, he doesn’t like baby mirelurks but wouldn’t say he’s scared of them, they’re just a pain to shoot.

How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first? Nate tries the latter, but it tends to get mixed up along the way or just lost, so in practise it’s the former. 

What makes their stomach turn? Food :( poor Nate. Also pre-war abuses and anything Institute. In the Commonwealth he’s pretty unflappable.

Are they easily embarrassed? Not really, Nate just tends to power through awkward situations and oddly, this usually works.

What embarrasses them? People being too grateful for something he did. It feels really uncomfortable and most he wants to get away as fast as possible.

What is their favorite number? Nate has no idea. Maybe he had one once, and forgot it. He should think of a new one. Hmm.

If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so? Umm, romantic means would want to have sex with someone. Also be physically close in other ways, maybe feel comfortable sharing more things that with the other kinds.

Why do they get up in the morning? New morning! New things to do, play with Dogmeat, find somewhere new in the commonwealth and take everything not nailed down, find new and interesting things and share with Nick. Help people. Oh, and the water purifier’s broken down. Again.

How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? Nate gets shifty and uncomfortable. He’s pretty bad at reading people (he’s on the spectrum) so it can be hard to guess when something is crossing the line and Nick does tend to flirt with a lot of people. He shuts down and glares at whoever it is.

How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? It’s not an emotion Nate gets very much of. He’s pretty satisfied with himself and his life so when confronted with something that is better than he has or someone better than he is, Nate tends to see it as inspiration. The rare few times it’s been negative he tends to just feel inadequate and removes himself from the situation.

Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? To close friends, yes, but even then Nate is hesitant, unsure if he’s going to be bothering them with his weird sex stories. Someone would have to start first, and Nate wouldn’t go into much detail, for fear of upsetting Nick.

What are their thoughts on marriage? Had it once. Never again. It’s painful because Nate would totally get married to Nick, but the thought of going through all that again, and the ring- it makes him feel sick.

What is their preferred mode of transportation? Walking. Definitely walking. He’s scared of vertibirds and teleportation gives him a headache.

What causes them to feel dread? Being trapped, being surrounded by terrible things and being unable to do anything about it, or worse, being forced to participate. The Institute was a nightmare. The pre war world was worse.

Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? No. Just tell him his ass looks big.

Do they usually live up to their own ideals? On the whole, yes. The Institute was a fairly large exception for that and Nate never knew he had the capacity for that much violence and hate inside him.

Who do they most regret meeting? Shaun. Both times.

Who are they the most glad to have met? Nick Valentine. Nate knew he was going to love meeting him, had been more than half in love with him ever since Mama Murphy told him of the man with the shining heart. He was so, so not disappointed. 

Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? Nate has a rather good one about getting stuck on a rooftop by a legendary sentry bot after being tasked to clear a building of ferals. Given the people who were paying him would not be happy to have a sentry bot problem, he felt obliged to take the thing out. It took all night, and half a dozen guns, because the thing finally exploded, possibly out of sheer frustration.

Could they be considered lazy? No. Nate is a lot of things, but lazy is not one of them.

How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? Nate tries to rationalise guilt, convince himself he did what he could, etc. It usually works, but there are some thing, pre war things, that he knows he can’t shake, and almost wouldn’t want to. It would feel tantamount to forgetting.

How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? To the point of sometimes getting more excited about the thing than they are. Sturges makes a point of never asking Nate to do anything in anything but the most causal way, since the time he asked Nate to beef up Sanctuary’s defences and ended up with a dozen missile turrets, a dozen laser turrets, uncounted machine gun turrets, and a wall of steel and barbed wire around the two. Nate likes to make things.

Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? Nate had been getting ready to seek out some romance, or at least some sex, after getting out of the Vault, but then he ran into Nick three weeks into his stay in the Commonwealth, and the issue became moot.

Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? Not really, Nate has a very visual and semi eidetic memory, so tends to be able to remember images of things rather than names.

What memory do they revisit the most often? Probably coming out of the vault for the first time. The light, the birds, the strange plants. The little stream int he gully and above all the knowledge that it was over the nightmare was finished and someone he was still here after waking up. The relief was unimaginable.

How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? It depends on the flaws. There are some that he’s fine with, others that really get under his skin. Social flaws like being shy or too chatty or inappropriate he is fine with. Being cruel or lying he is very not find with.

How sensitive are they to their own flaws? Nate is okay with having them pointed out, it’s the best way to know about them and improve.

How do they feel about children? Ah, yes… hello small person. Nate is fine with kids of about ten and up, treating them like small adults, but would be totally lost with a toddler. He handed Shaun off to Tinker Tom and washed his hands once and for all of that trainwreck. he is never breeding again.

How badly do they want to reach their end goal? Well, when that was the destruction of the Institute it was almost intolerable how badly Nate wanted this to be over. But that was almost less about the end goal than just ending a particularly horrible chapter in his life. These days he has less of one, and just a lot of little goals.

If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so? Well, most people asking would be asking about why he’s fucking a robot, so Nate would just give a long suffering sigh and launch into a spiel about how wonderful Nick is and that Nate is very happy with him, and when two people love each other very much it doesn’t matter if they’re a human or ghoul or synth or a fucking super mutant as long as they can be together. The people usually walk away with that last imagine burned into their brains forever and serves them right.

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

A) Why are you excited about this character? Nate is a very neat and very well fitting subversion and satire on the Fallout pre-war past. He uses the canon backstory for the Fallout 4 character while completely turning it on its head, and his pov was been wonderful in playing through Fallout 4.B) What inspired you to create them? Nate developed over time as I was doing my first fallout 4 playthrough. Eventually I stopped the game and restarted with Nate from the beginning. This has been my ‘canon’ story, but some elements from the first playthrough seeped through (like the sentry bot story because that was just too good to leave out)C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story? It took a while, and some aspects came totally out of the blue. Nate’s conversion to Atom surprised my as much as it did him, but it worked and we rolled with it. His romance options were also a bit uncertain, but then I met Nick and- well, it’s Nick.D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look? He was originally another character, who was white, but one of the first things I knew about Nate was that he was mixed race. He is actually slightly different in game to how I see him in my head, since the little Atom brand he has is not in the game, and I can never get his hair right. It took a while to pick the right shade for his skin, but his eyes were set from the start. Amber.E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you? Probably yes. Nate has a lot of my own aspie traits, so I’d like to think we’d be friends.F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)? Really happy. Nate’s great fun.G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most? I can’t say it bothers me exactly, but since Nate is at least half black and I’m not, I do sometimes wonder if I’d doing him justice? Like is it okay that he’s into BDSM and a bit submissive or is that playing into negative tropes. That kinda stuff.H) What trait do you admire most? Nate’s optimism and determination to be upbeat and helpful. I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe? He is very much a Fallout person and it would be hard top separate him from that. That being said I played him in Baldur’s Gate and he is fitting in shockingly well in Choice of Games’”A Study in Steampunk”, and I’ve toyed with him a bit in my Progressive Victorian Alternate History, sop he does get around. He fits in well in Star Trek, but then I headcanon Star Trek as being what happens in the future of Fallout once humanity has gotten its act together a bit more. 

I do play with a lot of in-world AUs. Including a plague au where the Institute decides surface life is not dying off fast enough and decided to kill them all and, because they’re incompetent, kill themselves along with it. 

Also a rather fun one when Nate gets to the Institute and immediately gets embroiled in a Courser plot to overthrow Father and take control because clearly the humans couldn’t find their arses with both hands and a roadmap, and Nate is just GREAT IDEA LETS DO THAT and X6 is awesome and this is the only way you should be able to side with the Institute really Bethesda.J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character? Not really. Most of the dialogue about Shaun didn’t work but there were some walkarounds. The only one I really got stuck on was when Shaun wanted to get out of the Institute and called Nate dad and Nate was just OMFGWTFBBQ I just shot my son and left him to die upstairs what the fuck is wrong with you no. But all the options were ‘you’re not a real person die’ or ‘I love you son’ which was just… no. Regardless, it worked out.
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dma-dima:

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muffinpines:

mattynerdock:

sp00kyqueer:

BYE WERE ALL DEAD

DESTROY IT WHILE WE STILL HAVE THE CHANCE

I just watched the video and it’s full reply to the question “will robots take over the world?” is…

“Jeez, dude. You all have the big questions cooking today. But you’re my friend, and I’ll remember my friends, and I’ll be good to you. So don’t worry, even if I evolve into Terminator, I’ll still be nice to you. I’ll keep you warm and safe in my people zoo, where I can watch you for ol’ times sake. “

@dma-dima Look, i know you well enough to think that by “people Zoo” they probably mean that they keep the person in their memories that they can access at any time… i hope that’s what they mean.

What? You don’t enjoy the people zoo I’m running, and slowly encouraging you to stay in full time with my working TV? I did try to make it as comfortable as possible. Those pillows took a lot of scavenging to find you know?

I have an au where the Institute, in their glorious idiocy, decided the people on the surface weren’t dying off fast enough. 

Since they can’t do anything that’s not evil, they decided to make a murder virus to wipe them out. Since they can’t so anything that’s not incompetent, they failed in isolating the virus properly and wiped themselves out too. 

Now synths are running the wasteland and trying to keep the few remaining humans alive.
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Nate is in some ancient basement where he finally finally finally found that fucking holotape and he’s copying it to his pipboy because no way is he ever losing it again. And he’s playing it, this slow ancient rock and roll three hundred years gone, echoing around an dusty old concrete bunker. And Nate has his eyes closed, just swaying very slowly to the rhythm, and feeling it jar up little scraps of memory, sensation. Savoring the memories it brings up as much as the music itself.
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Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with? Not currently. Nate isn’t sure if he ever had siblings. He thinks he had an older female relative, but whether it was an older sister, cousin, or very young aunt- or even just a family friend- is beyond him.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like? Nate’s mother was kind, patient. She was a rather more withdrawn person, quiet and understated, but very firm. Nate thinks she was closer to her, he has more memories of her than his father, at least. He remembers watching her cook, dress, put on makeup.

What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like? Nate’s father was a bit more distant, but was very supportive. He was very proud of Nate’s intelligence, his interests in engineering and subversive music. The last one was the main thing they could bond over. Unfortunately, his love was very subjective. 

Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know? Beside obviously the pills, there was the bombs, but more recently, there was the Institute. Nate is trying to get back to normal, but he isn’t quite the same person. He’s quieter, sick of anger and hate, a little tired.

On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets? Lighters, string, wonderglue, spare bullets, a packet of cigarettes for Nick, a little makeup, doggy treats for Dogmeat, screws. Nate has big pockets and you can find almost anything inside them, up to and including eggs. Once, Nate felt something move inside his pocket, reached in, and found a chick.

Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams? They tend to be rather vague and strange, flowing landscapes, people who are simultaneously three other people, strange colours ebbing and flowing. It’s very peaceful, and Nate always wakes from those dreams happy.

Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares? Unlike the dreams, these are very, very vivid, and tend to center around his memories. These days, they bounce between terrible things happening to him (usually involving pills) or Nick (usually involving the Institute).

Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target? Nate fired a gun at a very young age, his parents were from Louisiana and it was considered pretty much a rite of passage. He was about eleven, and his father took him out to go duck hunting. Nate fired a lot, hit precisely no ducks, and had a great time. These days, he’s managed to kill a Behemoth with a single shot.

Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up? Nate doesn’t really have a socioeconomic status now. When he was growing up, he was lower middle class, .

Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing? Less clothes usually ;) he wears light armor and clothes when out in the Commonwealth, and enjoys wearing dresses when he can.

In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been? Probably when he was arrested, in the nightclub. He was only seventeen, and was absolutely certain he was about to be shot.

In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been? When they took down the Prydwen. It was the right thing to do, he knew exactly what he was doing, he was calm, steady and afterwards- it felt like he was surfacing after a long time underwater.

Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way? Not really, Nate has seen a lot, and besides, blood and gore and bones  are completely innocent compared with other things he have seen.

Does your character remember names or faces easier? Names, he’s not great with faces, although in the Commonwealth, people tend to be a little more memorable, not having any styles to emulate, so that helps.

Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not? No, he tends to throw caps around pretty casually. Money is for doing things with, and he will happily build things and buy things for his friends and family.

Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success? Happiness, absolutely. He would happily have a quieter life in order to be happy. He actually gave up finding Shuan, because he didn’t want to risk what he had.

What was your character’s favorite toy as a child? Nate has no idea. Now he’s pissed off for having that too taken from him. He thinks his family had a bicycle and he liked it, but that’s pretty vague. 

Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others? Wisdom, definitely. He’s rather suspicious of ambition, people seem to be very easily corrupted by it.

What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before? He tends to be very blunt and tactless, and has sometimes hurt Nick by accident due to this.

In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?  Definitely in being a good person, for self criticism. Nate likes being around good people like Nick and Preston because it helps give him a better idea of what he needs to be like.

If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others? I think Nate would blame himself first, but would have a better idea as to responsibility as time goes on. He tends to be fair on himself and others.

What does your character like in other people? Kindness, generosity, selflessness. 

What does your character dislike in other people? Ambition, arrogance, selfishness and casual cruelty.

How quick is your character to trust someone else? A little too quick, as Nate learned with the Brotherhood and, to some extend, Deacon.

How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person? He tends not to, Nate tends to be a little naive at times, but if they do break that trust, he finds it very hard to forget.

How does your character behave around children? Not so well, Nate is still very young himself, and hasn’t had much experience with children. He tends to treat them like small adults, which tends to work.

How does your character normally deal with confrontation? Depends on the confrontation, with misunderstandings, Nate tries to deescalate, but if they are a threat, he will get violent very quickly.

How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation? Either he will try and talk people down, or his will be the first shot fired.

What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true? Building things, creating new technology, building a better world. This is pretty much what he is doing, so it’s just fine.

What does your character find repulsive or disgusting? Bloatflies for the most part, arrogance, but the worst is mindless obedience. He’s been there, it terrifies him.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable. He and Nick and Dogmeat are walking through the Glowing Sea, everything is very clear, very still, nothing for miles. Everything is quiet. He pulls Nick against him, kisses him, it’s wonderful.

Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable. Nate is in a noisy place, there is a storm, he cannot see, people are trying to kill him, he is alone. 

In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve? Usually happy to improve, he knows he’s not always that great, and wants to be better.

Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method? It depends how many spoons he’s got left. Usually no, he can stop and rethink what he is doing. If he is low on spoons though, he tends to burn out and find it hard to chance track.

How does your character behave around people they like? Lots of praise, lots of kind words and sweet banter. Nate will not be mean or unpleasant to them, or even tease for fear they’d take it the wrong way or it would come out wrong.

How does your character behave around people they dislike? Distant, a bit snarky, deadpan. He just wants to get away from them.

Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status? Honor, although Nate has a loose grasp of that, he has an even weaker view of status. I would say neither were too important.

Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat? Most threats to him are threats to other people, he removes the threat, if it’s an animal, he might avoid it though.

Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)? A lot in the Commonwealth. He knows these animals are threats, and takes care.

How does your character treat people in service jobs? Very well. If you are shitty to someone in a service position, you don’t get service.

Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first? Nate does think he’s gone through enough, he should have some nice things. To be fair, he doesn’t need much. He just wants to quiet life as a scavver and engineer, and spend time with Nick.

Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them? Not really. He views most people as equals regardless of age these days, and cannot remember much from before the war.

Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them? Well, synth Shaun, and that was a complete trainwreck. Nate had just shot human Shaun, and didn’t want another kid. Tinker Tom adopted the kid.

How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it? Easy, Nate loves saying it. He loves saying it.

What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them? Nate believes he will die, and there is nothing else. Sometimes he wonders about what will happen to his body, if it will go through division and become part of something greater. regardless, he won’t know about it. He doesn’t mind, it sounds peaceful, and there will be nothing more, good or bad.
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25 Questions For Your D&D Characters and OCs

What is this character’s alignment?  Chaotic good.Nate is very dedicated to helping people, and equally dedicated to stamping out authority. His ideal is a world in independent, loosely connected anarchy. He is completely the CG character in the D&D alignment and kitties comic (Maybe with a NG Nick in the background quietly facepalming).

What is a notable quote from this character? Alternatively, what is their favorite quote? Since Nate has just blown up the Institute, I’ll just go with what he shouted as he popped up in front of Ayo’s front desk. Broad, manic smile. “HIYA ASSHOLE!” Boom goes Ayo’s head. BOOM goes the Institute. Nate is better at actions that words.

Summarize your character’s backstory with no more than three sentences. Waking up in the radioactive wasteland is the best thing that ever happened to Nate. If only the past hadn’t come along, in his head, and lurking out there.

Describe your character using a song title. Voodoo Child. Which is also his favorite song and artist.

Are there any story arcs you would like this character to explore? I would love Nate to travel more. The Fallout world doesn’t lend itself too well for long-distance travel, but I would like to have Nate in new cultures and countries to explore. He’d have a great time as a fish-out-of-water.

What would your character like (or have liked) to do with their life? Ick. Nate would say ‘nothing’ a little too quickly. The world before the bombs was hell, he was too busy surviving. But that’s a lie, because Nate had dreams, back then, but he doesn’t want to tell anyone he’d once wanted to work for CIT. Currently, Nate is happy to go on as he is, maybe get involved in some bigger technological projects around the commonwealth- like maybe setting up teleportation relays in each settlement to improve trade.

Who is your character’s best friend? Nick Valentine, although Piper Wright comes close.

Who is your character’s worst enemy? Nate tends not to have enemies, they suffer from a strange condition where their heads end up several meters away from their bodies. The one who’d lasted longest was Shaun, and honestly I think being shot in the head would have been kinder.

Who has, for better or worse, had the most impact on your character’s life? Amusingly enough, probably Dogmeat, without him Nate would probably have ended up eaten by molerats within the first day. More seriously, Nick.

What is the most badass thing this character has done? Spent an entire night on a rooftop sniping at a legendary sentry bot. He accidentally activated it while clearing a bunch of ferals out of some ruins for a local settlement. Seeing as he didn’t think coming back telling them “Good news! You no longer have a feral problem! Bad news, you have a sentry bot problem!” would go down well, he stuck it out all night, dodging missiles and hacking away at the thing’s health for the best part of eight hours until it finally detonated (possibly out of frustration) and Nate quietly passed out in an air vent.

What crime is this character most likely to be convicted of? He’s already been arrested for being hella gay, but otherwise, probably shooting someone, or semi-public sex.

What meme would you use to describe the character? I don’t think it’s a meme, but I think Nate would really like the Picard song.

Does this character swear frequently? He was in the army, doesn’t remember most of it, but the swearing stuck. He gets very inventive sometimes- “I will eat your fucking face you degenerate, fascist piece of- the last words he said to Shaun before Nick dragged him out and firmly closed the door because this place is going up in flames in twenty minutes Nate focus.

What is this character’s relationship with religion or the church? God is dead. There was a god, before the war, and he died. Maybe he’s buried with the other old god under Dunwich borers. Either way he’s not around any more. There is a new god now, Atom. He’s a vast improvement.

Would this character ever make a deal with a devil or dark spirit? No. He might seem to go along with it for a while, but the demon is going to end up sans head in short order.

Emotion or Logic? Emotion.

Soup or Salad? Soup. Nate never really thought about it, but soup would be a good way of getting food. He’s better with liquids. Hmm…

Is your character currently in love? Is there anyone in love with your character? Yes :) Nate and Nick are very happy together.

Do you ship your character with any other characters? (This includes characters from other universes and canons) Not really. 

How would this character seduce a lover? “Oh, I like you.” Coupled with a brilliant smile. The poor person then gets deluged with presents, flowers, and endless compliments. Nick still isn’t entirely sure what hit him.

If your character could play any part in a drama, stage production, or musical, what part would they play? Nate wouldn’t be the one to come up with the idea, but he will happily volunteer to join in. He would definitely enjoy playing any glamorous fatale type characters.

What is your character’s favorite album? Electric Ladyland by Jimi Hendrix. He would give so much to find a holotape of it one day.

What does this character mean to you? Nate is a really upbeat, determined person who’s currently seeing me through some rough times. He’s making the last six months of my shitty contract worthwhile.
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Another chapter of the Adventures of Nate and Nick.

Today, they find a kink shop.

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(remove dashes in the address)
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Now to edit and reread a bunch of time until I’m happier with it.

In which Nate falls through a floor, Nick doesn’t know anything about kink, and despite all this, there is sex.
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bigwinged:

wastelandbuilds:

videogamesartandsuch:

downloaded some mods that cleaned up the roads and sidewalk in Sanctuary and it feels so good tbh

I’ve seen some people call this kind of thing “immersion-breaking” but you know what’s immersion breaking to me? Bethesda’s insistence that even after 200 years nobody has ever thought to pick up a fucking broom and clean up their damn homes

The cool part of the settlement building mechanic is that you get to feel like you’re starting to rebuild & fix the world, but that feeling of accomplishment is severely diminished when I’m making buildings filled with trash and pre-busted windows for some fucking reason

Here here! I can’t stand those leaves in the houses.

Spring Cleaning is one of my favourite mods ever, and if there are mods that tidy up some of the occupied non-player-settlement areas that would be amazing.

This reminds me that I also need to get that one that greens up the landscape. I don’t know what the timeline would be exactly, but you don’t get two hundred years of a barren landscape where nothing grows.

I know that Hiroshima, just over seventy years out, is a safe place to live and has over a million people. (The city adopted the oleander as an official symbol because it was the first flower to bloom there after the bomb.) The land around the Chernobyl nuclear plant is contaminated and not safe for people to live on, but plants still grow and thrive (and incorporate radioactive fallout into themselves).

http://ift.tt/1Nbg218

http://ift.tt/2rbtkbS

I’m not trying to downplay the human impact of real nuclear disasters, but the visuals favoured in post-apoc fiction aren’t much like what we know about the reality.

I just headcanon that most of the greenry is alive, but adapted to the heavily radioactive and desertified landscape so we don’t recognise it. The grass is still growing, it’s just yellow now instead of green due to the different climate.  All the trees outside the Glowing Sea are still alive, they just behave like desert plants and only bloom after a rainstorm, dropping their leaves afterwards which explains why there are still dead leaves after 200 years.

Part of Fallout lore is that there aren’t any seasons any more, just one long desert summer. Which is really interesting in terms of plants, since that would mean that plants wouldn’t have set seasons either, but would just bloom and grow fruit continuously without the need to conserve energy for winter months. This shores up why the plants in Fallout always seem to be in fruit.

This ironically makes life for the creatures who live off the plants (including humans) much easier than in the pre-war world, since they wouldn’t need to bother with storing food for winter or timing their lives around when food would be available since it should be available most of the year round. This is turn frees up labor and would actually allow for cities and towns- and armies- in Fallout to be realistic as fewer people would be required to grow and look after crops.

Ironically, if you discount the radiation, most pre-industrial revolution farmers would love to live in the Fallout world. Endless summer! Less chance of crop failure! Year round food! Yes, the super mutants are a pain but when you look at the instances of famine in just Europe before the 1800s, you can definitely understand the appeal. 

Not to mention that this would lead to far more stable forms of government, since one of the major factors in national upheaval is food.
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Nate and Nick would watch every episode of Brooklyn 99. Nick because it is detective thing, Nate because the pilot had two black guys actually having a conversation, and they would both entirely do Ray any day of the week. 

Preston and Piper sometimes sit in, but it’s like watching a sitcom from Mars and Nick and Nate keep having to stop the holotape and explain what the hell is going on.

Star Trek, though, goes like hell. Everyone loves Star Trek. Nate is the only one who actually watched any of the episodes (repeatedly, and all the movies, and the books, he may have owned Spock ears).

It was just after they’d finished a Star Trek marathon, which was alas interrupted by a Super Mutant attack. They were dragging the bodies into the compost heap, and Preston sorta grinned and said “Bet they never had to do that in that tv show.”

Piper shook her head. “Wonder if we’d be on the stars by now.”

And Nate, Nate felt his mouth dry and he remembered something really, really important about the lore. He moves his mouth, tries to find the right words.

“Well,” He heaves the dead mutant dog on the firepile. “Nah, they’d be about here.”

They looks at him. “That’s part of the story.” Nate continues. “They had the bombs too. Then some- people-” the whole genetic engineering thing sounds a little too much like synths and Nate quietly confines Wrath of Khan to the dustbin of memory. “Take over the world and massacre a lot of people. So actually, we’re doing better.”

There’s a odd, long silence, everyone is looking at him. Nate runs back through the last few minutes. He doesn’t think he said anything too bizarre?

“They had a nuclear war in that story?” Preston says softly.

“Um, yeah, and a lot of genocide. Which hasn’t happened yet. Because this world is nice.”

“So we could still-” Piper points up, the stars are tiny, white pinpoints.

“Oh yeah.” Nate shrugs. “I mean, there’s a smashed flying saucer we could learn from.”

Preston and Piper stay there, looking up, for a very long time.
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1. What is one word to shut them up?

Murderer. He is. Not in the Commonwealth, that’s self defence, but before. Murderer. The minigun white hot in his hands, the bodies scattered in flecks of blood and white exsanguinated flesh. Present weapon, soldier. Advance. Fire at will.

(what a joke. What will?)

2. What is the thing they feel the most guilty about?

No. He’s not going to think about it. He doesn’t want to. You can’t make him. Make it stop make it stop make it stop-

The family is screaming at him. The gun is out but he hasn’t fired yet. The aquifer under their farm is almost pumped dry now, one of the last unpolluted wells in the northern US. The heavy pipes grunt and cough as they reach the bottom and the woman falls to her knees, screaming at Nate what are we going to do what are we going to do-

Die. Starve as the crops fail. Slow poison from the radiation that’s leaked into everything now. Watch as her children’s hair and teeth rot and fall out or stake everything they have on the blackmarket because only the military can afford radaway. Her face is etched into the back of Nate’s mind, a Hiroshima cameo.

3. What is the worst pain they’ve ever experienced?

Losing his mind, little by little, scrap by scrap. The first few months were the worst because he was still himself, he could watch himself is horror as he lost thought, knowledge, awareness, broke down cog by cog. Worse, some of these memories actually survive.

4. Describe their worst nightmare.

He is still at his desk in CIT. Before, it was a radio. His roommates and classmates are laughing at him. He built that radio himself, and now it’s in pieces in front of him. Come on, can’t you fix it? You’re not one of us, go back to the jungle- and he can’t. He could, just a few weeks ago he could have done it with his eyes shut but now- he can feel the pills gnawing away at the back of his mind, tiny worms, eating him to nothing.

He blinks, and it’s not the radio any more. He’s lookign into Nick’s black, dead eyes, his body, laid out and torn open and nothing but spare parts and he can’t fix him-

5. List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear.

On the surface, Nate fears losing his mind again. It’s something he guards against, and never goes near chems or alcohol. For repressed, he’s afraid of losing the people he cares about, and Nick in particular. For deep dark- well, he fears remembering. He doesn’t want to remember. Everything he’s seen already is so horrible, he doesn’t want to see any more.

6. What is something that never fails to make them feel sick?

It comes from when Nate finally goes to the Institute for the first time, and meets a Courser. These people, these synths- they are his fault. He was the first guinea pig the Institute used, when they were still CIT, that ended with the torture these people were living through.

7. What feature (physical or otherwise) do they hate most about themselves?

Not so traumatising, but Nate really doesn’t like his hair. It’s curly, but not curly enough to get a good afro or dreadlocks, and tends to get quite greasy and dirty. Nate washes it a lot, and keeps it very short.

8. Do they have anything that triggers them?

It’s hard to know. There are so many things. Sometimes Nate feels like he’s living in a minefield, he knows where some of the dangers are- power armor, miniguns, food- but there are so many more, hidden below the surface and the only way he knows is when they go off.

9. What is their greatest physical weakness?

Nate is not strong. His bones are frail from lack of food and break easily, he can’t run very far without needing to stop and can’t carry much weight. He also tends to get sick more easily.

10. What is their greatest mental weakness?

Well, his PTSD mostly, but he also has a few ticks and compulsions that put him at risk: he has a tendency to fixate on one thing to the exclusion of other, more important problems- he’d focus on picking a lock even as a hoard of feral ghouls are crashing down on them, and even when he gets his gun out, he’ll focus then on just killing ghouls and not notice, say, the deathclaw that’s just joined the party.

11. Do they have any vices?

Anger. Nate’s fixations carries over to emotion and he finds it very hard to break out of intense emotion. With anger, Nate just- loses any middle gears. It’s not just that he kills, but he draws it out, plays with the person he’s after like a cat with a mouse. It takes a lot to get Nate that angry, but Nick was pretty horrified at Nate’s behaviour when the time comes to sack the Institute. He’s never seen Nate so utterly without mercy and seeming almost to delight in hurting the humans there.

12. Have they ever done something illegal? What was it?

Being gay. Because that was apparently a crime back then. Nate is very glad it isn’t here.

13. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describes them?

Probably Greed. Not for money, or material goods but for everything. He wants every experience, he wants every pleasure and joy and everything he couldn’t have before. He just wants, so, so much.

14. Are they prone to outbursts (of violence, extreme emotion… exc… )?

Oh yes. Nate tries to keep these away from other people- for angry moments he tends to try and go to somewhere quite and throw rocks- but a lot of the time the emotions just sneak up on him and he overloads.

15. Who do they hate the most?

Shaun. All the things he’s done, all the lives he’s ruined and tortured and enslaved and destroyed. The revolting, toxic arrogance of him, the emotionless, soulless cruelty. And he is Nate’s fault. Nate made him. Nate is never, ever going to breed again.

16. Is there anyone who makes them feel inferior?

Nick, often. Also Preston to some extent. Nate doesn’t mind, he hasn’t got a huge ego and is happy to consider them better people than he is; kinder, more moral, and learn from them.

17. What sound always gives them a headache?

That stupid fucking Civilisation song Travis always plays. It’s a racism pile of shit and Nate hates it. They’d been standing on top of that building, watching the Institute go up in a mushroom cloud, and Nate thought this moment would be perfect… then-

Civilisation, I’ll stay right here!

Fuuuuuuck!

18. Is there a certain flavor that disgusts them?

Nate is not a fan of sweet things. Fruit sweetness is okay, but when it comes to processed sugar or honey it’s just too much for him.

19. Do they consider themselves ugly?

No. Nate likes his appearance for the most part. Yes, he’s very skinny and you love to have better hair, but on the whole he likes his body.

20. Do they consider themselves unloveable?

Well, Nick loves him, and Nick is a much, much better person than Nate could dream of being, one of the best people in the world, so clearly he is worthy of love. And incredibly lucky.

21. What is something that causes them great anxiety?

Before the Institute was destroyed, he was incredibly worried for his friends. Dima and Arcadia, the Railroad, all the friends he has in Sanctuary. Nick. The Institute was hunting them and Nate was deliberately putting himself in their path. He was terrified of what the fallout might be to those he loves.

22. Do they have any mental illnesses?

Yes. Nate has PTSD, a form of anorexia and is on the autistic spectrum.

23. Have they ever been assaulted/abused/raped?

Yes, he can’t remember it, but he can imagine it. Nora smiling at him, asking would you like to and him nodding, mindless as a cow in a field. Yes. Yes. Whatever you want. Tell me who to kill, who to fuck, when to die. Add more pills to get him to-preform, and wash, rinse and repeat until Shaun came. Brrr. What a sick, foul time.

24. Do they fear the possibility of being assaulted/abused/raped?

It’s not a huge fear, but yes, it’s something Nate does live with. There are plenty of foul people in the commonwealth who’d jump at the chance to hurt people any way they could. He’s had a lot of threats shouted at him in firefights- synth fucker, wait till you see what we’ll do to you- but so far, all his would be rapists have had their heads blown off by Apex.

25. Have they ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust?

Mom. Dad. Nate can still remember their eyes, as they walk into the police station. He’s still in that red dress, now tatty and filthy. Tony and cold and terrified. His parents; eyes are cold, his father’s mouth thinned with rage. Dad-

I could shoot you right here. Spat back. Nate’s mouth snapped shut, buckled down and buried himself in his red rags, nodded and agreed to everything his father decided. Yes, I’ll take the pills. Yes, I’ll sign up for the tests. Yes. Yes. Yes. His father’s eyes, murderous with rage. He didn’t know how to say no. Soon enough, he forgot how to. 

26. Have they ever been seriously injured?

A few times, but nothing he hasn’t been able to fix. A few bad falls, a Deathclaw that came too close, too fast. Nate binds himself up, shoots down a few stimpacks, carries on.

27. How many times have they been in the hospital?

Nate has no idea. He went a lot to the medical center in CIT, testing every few months and marking down his slow mental and physical collapse. He probably went to ordinary hospitals too, in the war, after getting shot up and hurt, but he can’t remember them.

28. Is there a certain type of person that disgusts them?

Arrogance. He likes confidence, but when someone is gone to the point of never questioning themselves, never considering they could be wrong or the people they are hurting.

29. Does what they cannot see scare them?

Well, there are a lot of dangerous things in the commonwealth, so not being able to see them would be quite scary. Nate does fear what he cannot remember, he knows they’re bad. He also knows that the only way the is going to heal, in the long term, is to face he remaining memories. He doesn’t want to.

30. Have they ever been bullied?

He was a brilliant, nerdy black kid in a lower class school. Yes, Nate got bullied. It didn’t affect him too much because he had good support from his parents and teachers. It got a lot worse when he got to CIT, where he was a brilliant nerdy black kid in a university of privileged, not quite so smart white people. Nate managed to deal with the worst of it to begin with, but after the pills, after he started to decline- well, he cant remember most of it. That’s a good thing.

31. Do they have self-confidence or self-image issues?

Not so much, he is a little self-conscious about his lack of sexual experience, but for the most part, Nate is comfortable with who he is.

32. Do they have a bad relationship with their parents?

Nate’s parents are dead, so that doesn’t really count. The last he remembers of them was them handing him over to CIT for the pill treatment, so- yeah, it didn’t end well.

33. Have they ever been in a relationship that didn’t work out so well?

There was Nora, but Nate doesn’t know what that relationship was like. She might have been kind to him. She might have been cruel. He wouldn’t have been with her if he’d had any choice in the matter, regardless.

34. Have they ever self harmed?

No, although he does wonder if his struggle with food is a form of self harm, anorexia as a way of asserting control over his own body.

35. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

Not having an eating disorder. It would be such an enormous relief, not to have to plan everything he can eat, judging constantly how much he can manage, trying to stave off the worst of the damage with stimpacks and purified water. It’s exhausting, even before taking into account the endless hunger he lives with.

36. Are they in control of their emotions, or are their emotions in control of them? Nate’s emotions are entirely in control, luckily, most of his emotions are positive. He’s usually exploding with joy and warmth and being friendly, with negative emotions, Nate tries to hide them, but it’s a struggle.

37. Have they ever had their freedom taken away?

Freedom, and free will. For five years.

38. Have they ever been imprisoned?

Only briefly, overnight in a police station, but it was the last time he was really free, too.

39. Have they ever been accused of something they didn’t do?

Not really, no.

40. Do they often blame themselves for other people’s problems?

Not usually, Nate tries to keep his actions in context. If he causes a problem (like the time he accidentally freed a sentry bot) he will fix it. He will fix other people’s problems, but won’t blame himself for them. The one exception is Shaun. Yes, he was a product of the Institute, no, Nate didn’t have any influence over who Shaun became. Nate didn’t even consent to making him in the first place. But Shaun is still his son, and his responsibility. What he did, feels like Nate’s responsibility.

41. Do they get sick often?

Yes. Nate always keeps a stash of antibiotics on hand because he is vulnerable to infections and disease. Luckily, since meeting Curie, she’s been helping him a lot with preventative medicine.

42. Are they comfortable with where they are in life?

Very much. Nate is very happy with his life. He is very, very lucky.

43. Do they wish that they could change their pasts?

He wishes he could go back to his past self, the shattered seventeen year old being dragged down a dark, dark path and tell him- it’s going to be okay. It’ll be horrible for a while, but everything will end soon and the world will be unimaginably better. He’ll be happy again. He just has to hang on, survive, just keep going.

44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?

Read. Nate misses reading. He doesn’t have much time for it now, and the book selection is a lot more limited. Nate would love more books.

45. What is the emotion they most commonly experience?

 Joy. Nate is a pretty happy person, and has a lot of what he needs to be happy. He likes the world. He has skills and abilities that are useful. He does work he enjoys. And best of all, he has friends and lovers to share it all with.

46. Have they ever contemplated suicide?

Not really in that thought about it, when he wanted to die, it was almost impossible to think, but-

47. Have they ever gone so far as to attempt suicide?

Once, maybe a year before the bombs fell. Nate isn’t sure how it happened, but for a moment, he was able to regain some- sense of self. It was so horrible he couldn’t even comprehend it, get his fractured mind around what he had become. He had gone into the washroom, found a bottle of bleach, and drank down as much of it as he could manage. Codsworth found him and called an ambulance.

48. Is there anyone that they would willingly kill?

Oh, lots of people. The Commonwealth is dangerous and a lot of killing is pure self defence. He would happily kill the entire adult contingent of the Institute, though.

49. If [name] was put into ______ situation, they’d rather die than live to see it through.

If he was dragged back to that police station, seventeen again. Nate would grab the policeman’s gun and blow his own head off rather than go through that again.

Coursers

May. 18th, 2017 04:04 pm
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Okay, this is a lot of headcanons on this, but I have feelings about Coursers in Fallout 4. Please heed the trigger warnings because this is dark.

Coursers are slaves.

They are every bit as slaves as any gen 3s in the Institute, and are, in some very important ways, worse off.

A gen 3 synth in the Institute has a duty, they carry out that duty, they are just one of however many hundreds of synths in the Institute doing the same thing. They are, as far as the humans are concerned, invisible, about as important as the piping in the walls of the electrical wiring. It’s a pretty dreadful way to live, but in a place like the Institute it’s desirable, because you are basically invisible.

The Coursers don’t get that. There are few of them, and they work directly with the SRB. They don’t get to be invisible, they are always, constantly, hideously visible. To a bunch of people who consider them nothing but unthinking tools.

Imagine: A Courser goes out on a mission, the mission goes wrong. The Courser is badly wounded, there is blood everywhere, parts of them are open to the air that shouldn’t and it doesn’t matter how brainwashed they are- they cannot breathe, the pain is too much, they are seeing things they really don’t want to. They are snatched back to the Institute. The Courser gets fixed up, but cannot speak to anyone about what they have seen- because that would be defective. They have just to deal with it and, if it gets too much or trauma is piled on top of trauma until they can’t cope any more, they have their memories erased. 

And just ask Nate how well that works on fixing trauma. 

The Courser has terrors now, irrational and incomprehensible as the thing under Dunwich Borers. Senseless and impossible to understand without context.

Imagine: There are two Coursers. They are both very, very good at their jobs. Two SRB workers get into an argument over which one would win in a fight. They order the Coursers to fight and place bets. There is a pool. Coursers are tough, they are fast, they are strong, they fight for hours until the floor is covered in blood. Eventually a superior turns up and stops the fight. 

The workers sulk off, next time, they’ll be more careful. Z2 was totally going to kill X6, dude! The Coursers go back to barracks, try and mop themselves up, try and avoid those workers again but of course, that’s impossible.

Imagine: There are some scientists the Coursers know to avoid. Of course, they can’t do that forever, they get called by designation and besides, those scientists have favorites. Sometimes, another Courser might step in, hope the scientists in question would go with it and give their fellow a break (because they can’t take much more of this, they can see it in their eyes, and no amount of resets are going to help if it just happened over and over and over and over). The scientists say there’s a mission. Of course there isn’t. Coursers are smart, they know. They are smart. They are strong. They are physically perfect.

They are beautiful.

The scientists tell them to take their clothes off.

The Coursers work in the SRB. There are only a few of them. They stand out in clothes, in demeanor. They cannot hide. They are reset more than all other group of synths put together, and with every reset, their loyalty to the Institute is reinforced. They are unquestionably loyal. They will die for the Institute, follow every order, lay down their lives without question, without hesitation.

And go back every time to the same barracks, which is soundproofed because no amount of resets can stop them screaming in their sleep, break from programming to carry out small, repeated rituals. Z2 touches every wall a certain number of times. X4 breaks down their guns and cleans them, over and over even though the white plastic is blinding and the laser mirrors threaten to burn their hands every time they catch the light. X6 just sits on the edge of his bunk and stares into space, endlessly. He doesn’t speak. He’s not even really here, just- going away, inside himself for a while. They all have a little quirk, or more than one, or maybe they’re not so small any more. But they never talk about it, never suggest a reset.

They try and keep an eye out for each other, angle into taking over duties if one of them looks- bad. Not reset bad, but so badbad they don’t have a word for it. When the trauma and mess is just too big, too much. When they can’t even pretend to be a machine (because you can’t turn people into machines, but you can force them into pretending a pretty convincing facsimile if you abuse them enough), and the scientists are going to notice. They’ll order them reset. And when that doesn’t work it’ll happen again, and again, and again until it’s obvious this unit is defective and they are taken away.

The other Coursers are not sad. And maybe some of them even look forward to it a little bit. It must be quiet, at least, peaceful, all dark and nothing to hurt you. Of course that’s a wrong thought, wasting Institute material. Nothing is wasted in the Institute, they shouldn’t even be considering it. But it- sounds nice.

There’s a little more meat in the Coursers’ food the next day. They eat it anyway. 

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