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the104yearoldvirgin:
Every year the Cullens go to Burning Man
And every year people think they’re doing performance art like Malcolm’s family from that one episode of Malcolm in the Middle. Eventually they get a reputation.
“Oh the Cullens? Yeah. Every year they show up absolutely doused in body glitter and just…go about their normal days like that.”
“The doctor has a first-aid tent and his wife sells homemade soaps and candles out of their van. They always smell so good I can’t say no.”
“The hot blonde one doesn’t even see any shows, she just lays there and sunbathes. She never burns.”
“The tiny one only hangs out with the really stoned people and braids their hair. I’ve never seen her or any of them sleep.”
“The moody one with the eyebrows, I think his name might be Jessie? Jackass? Whatever. He just lays facedown in the dirt sometimes and doesn’t move for a while. Drugs, man.”
“Edward? The one who just played Wonderwall for 14 hours straight on acoustic guitar last year?”
We should just get all the weird Twilight shitposts from the last year and publish them.
the104yearoldvirgin:
Every year the Cullens go to Burning Man
And every year people think they’re doing performance art like Malcolm’s family from that one episode of Malcolm in the Middle. Eventually they get a reputation.
“Oh the Cullens? Yeah. Every year they show up absolutely doused in body glitter and just…go about their normal days like that.”
“The doctor has a first-aid tent and his wife sells homemade soaps and candles out of their van. They always smell so good I can’t say no.”
“The hot blonde one doesn’t even see any shows, she just lays there and sunbathes. She never burns.”
“The tiny one only hangs out with the really stoned people and braids their hair. I’ve never seen her or any of them sleep.”
“The moody one with the eyebrows, I think his name might be Jessie? Jackass? Whatever. He just lays facedown in the dirt sometimes and doesn’t move for a while. Drugs, man.”
“Edward? The one who just played Wonderwall for 14 hours straight on acoustic guitar last year?”
We should just get all the weird Twilight shitposts from the last year and publish them.