(I'm assuming from context that Axel is the name of your brother. Also, I don't often hand out advice. I'm only doing so because you asked, but keep in mind that I'm not acquainted with all the details, personalities, and history, so... here goes.)
I'm confused: your mom said the matter is closed... what does that mean? Is she going to take any position at all on Christmas evening? Did she uninvite you and your friends or did she just say "If you show up, Axel said he will do this." ?
If the latter, it sounds to me like your mom is being more than a little enabling of Axel's bad behavior, especially if she took no position at all with you except to rely his ultimatum and then stand back to let the kids slug it out over possession of Christmas.
If it was me? I'd skip it. Your mom either wants you there or she doesn't, but either way, she needs to think about her part in this (or lack of) and take responsibility for the way the chips fall. She can't be a bystander in her own home with her own children. Your aunt is right: the best way to encourage her to begin thinking of what she really wants is to simply absent yourself and take your friends, the lovely paramour, and your own good company to a better party.
Good luck!
PS: You spoke about being fair to your two friends. No offense, but if I was your guest, I would have rather bathe with a sponge made out of cactus than endure a holiday evening trapped with a feuding family, so either keep your guests away from family drama or let them know fully beforehand what they may be letting themselves in for. That way they can decide whether or not they really want to attend. And who knows? If you're really set on challenging your brother and having Xmas at your mum's, you might have a pair of willing and (metaphorically) well-armed allies instead of dinner guests. :)
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regna
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-14 05:00 am (UTC)I'm confused: your mom said the matter is closed... what does that mean? Is she going to take any position at all on Christmas evening? Did she uninvite you and your friends or did she just say "If you show up, Axel said he will do this." ?
If the latter, it sounds to me like your mom is being more than a little enabling of Axel's bad behavior, especially if she took no position at all with you except to rely his ultimatum and then stand back to let the kids slug it out over possession of Christmas.
If it was me? I'd skip it. Your mom either wants you there or she doesn't, but either way, she needs to think about her part in this (or lack of) and take responsibility for the way the chips fall. She can't be a bystander in her own home with her own children. Your aunt is right: the best way to encourage her to begin thinking of what she really wants is to simply absent yourself and take your friends, the lovely paramour, and your own good company to a better party.
Good luck!
PS: You spoke about being fair to your two friends. No offense, but if I was your guest, I would have rather bathe with a sponge made out of cactus than endure a holiday evening trapped with a feuding family, so either keep your guests away from family drama or let them know fully beforehand what they may be letting themselves in for. That way they can decide whether or not they really want to attend. And who knows? If you're really set on challenging your brother and having Xmas at your mum's, you might have a pair of willing and (metaphorically) well-armed allies instead of dinner guests. :)