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korrasera:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

fawnfreckled:

sandmandaddy:

this is one of those photos that you scroll past and then like three posts later you go “hold on, that’s fucking hilarious” and scroll back up to reblog it

This week in Ye Olde Jerry Springer: Mine betrothed hath been a knave and scoundrel and I doth require retribution

::action pauses along with a record scratching noise:: “So, I bet you’re wondering how I wound up in this situation…”

Ye Olde WWE
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desmondsprettyface:

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

I know the loss of historically significant buildings is a tragedy for posterity and such, but when I think about the fact that the original Globe Theatre isn’t around anymore because Shakespeare accidentally burned it to the ground during a performance of Henry VIII while attempting to use a black-powder cannon as a special effect, all I can say is that this is how it was meant to be.

(The building was fortunately evacuated in good order, and the only known injury was incurred by a man whose unusually flammable trousers were set ablaze by falling embers; having declined to abandon his beer during the evacuation, he successfully doused the flames with it and came away with only minor burns, which is basically the most Shakespearean thing ever.)

Sir Henry Wotton provides a particularly excellent eye witness account of Ol’ Broyled Breeches in a letter dated 2 July 1613:

“Now King Henry making a Masque at the Cardinal Wolsey’s house, and certain cannons being shot off at his entry, some of the paper or other stuff, wherewith one of them was stopped, did light on the thatch, where being thought at first but idle smoak, and their eyes more attentive to the show, it kindled inwardly, and ran round like a train, consuming within less than an hour the whole house to the very ground. This was the fatal period of that virtuous fabrick, wherein yet nothing did perish but wood and straw, and a few forsaken cloaks; only one man had his breeches set on fire, that would perhaps have broyled him, if he had not by the benefit of a provident wit, put it out with a bottle of ale.”

Tag yourself, I’m the few forsaken cloaks.
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thefloatingstone:

hollyblueagate:

chlstarrbaby:

thekingmickey:

dimetrodone:

hollyblueagate:

zagreus:

hollyblueagate:

“if goofy is a dog and pluto is a dog why is one a pet” is the cartoon equivalent of “if man evolved from monkeys why are there still monkeys”

The implication that Goofy is just a more advanced stage in canine evolution is oddly terrifying somehow

theres no such thing as ‘more advance’ in evolution. a dogman isnt more evolved than a dog, just as you are no more evolved than an seagull or coral, they are just fitted for different environments and have evolved as such

Goofy is not more evolved the Pluto, Goofy just fills a different ecological niche. While Pluto is just a scavenger and Goofy is an apex predator both play important roles in the ecosystem.

Goofy’s a domestic dog, Pluto is a real one.

“Why me? I’m domesticated!” is the deepest rabbit hole of a line in the entire disney canon

I think it’s a good example of how prejudiced people rationalise their prejudice. ‘Oh not, not you, I was talking about the bad (enter group here).
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alicedrawslesmis:

alicedrawslesmis:

ugh fine my personal blog is not cutting so I’ll post here 

DO! NOT! DONATE! TO! AMAZON! CONSERVATION! NGOs! DO NOT!

they don’t act on the root of the problem, they don’t mitigate the effects of deforestation, they do have limited action and they don’t help conserve the forest land outside their very small grounds besides doing little to nothing to help the people who actually live in the amazon and conserve it on a daily basis

DONATE TO THE INDIGENOUS MOVEMENTS INSTEAD

they are organized, they can keep woodcutting companies away from their land, they are getting murdered for it, they are the only reason there is any forest left at all

THIS is a a fund for indigenous peoples of the Amazon (Brasil only)

THIS is a link to donate from abroad to the indigenous women’s march, it has already happened but you can still donate to support the cause

THIS is a link to support the free land camp, and you can email them at apibbsb@gmail.com if you really want to find ways to support them, donations will go to APIB (Brazilian Articulation of Indigenous Peoples) and you can keep up with their news here

(APIB is coordinated by, among others, Sonia Guajajara! so if you know her you know this means shit will get done)
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rainforestgeek:

If you’re struggling to figure out what to do, start with donating to these organizations:

The Rainforest Action Network

https://act.ran.org/page/11127/donate/2

Donate Now & Help Protect the Planet

The Rainforest Trust

https://www.rainforesttrust.org/

Rainforest Trust Saves Rainforest

The World Wildlife Fund

https://www.wwf.org.uk/where-we-work/places/amazon

The Amazon

Keep spreading awareness, but also if you have ANY spare cash there has never been a more important cause to give it to!!!!!!

I probably don’t have to tell you to put public pressure on your governments as well!

youmaysurviveus:

Y'all. This is a fucking global emergency.

Some quick facts:

The Amazon rainforest is responsible for 20% of the world’s oxygen.

It’s home to numerous species of wildlife.

It is referred to as the lungs of the Earth.

And it’s been burning for weeks, and no one is talking about it.

What is happening right now is an emergency that should be concerning all of us. The air we breath is at stake. This isn’t exaggerating. Our lungs are destroyed as we speak and we are only just finding out.

This is our future. Are you upset about Spiderman? Same. Were you sad over Notre Dame? Same. But this is so much more important.

SPEAK UP. GET THIS KNOWN. Even if you can’t do anything else, at least raise awareness to put some pressure out there on those who can do something. OUR HOME IS AT STAKE. The skies in Sao Paolo turned black. We are losing our most valued rainforest. WE CANNOT JUST SIT BACK.
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tryh4rddd:

qsolidarity:

everyone who keeps reblogging those posts about how kinks are just excuses for men to get off to hurting women: y'all are aware that’s radfem rhetoric????

like you don’t have to like kinks but the idea that men are universally abusers and women are deluding themselves into thinking they enjoy it when they’re actually just being abused is straight up ~kink-critical~ radfem stuff and it’s not new. and like I’m seeing a lot of that exact shit on my dash and honestly it needs to stop bc this is exactly how they recruit and I’m done with it

uh a lot of the time kink stuff is men getting off to hurting women, humiliating and physically abusing them. if that’s not textbook abuse idk what is. radical feminism is not a problem, TRANSPHOBIA is a problem.

Kink is to abuse what having a boxing match is to being beaten up. There’s this little thing called consent, which radfems don’t believe women can have, for some reason.
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agir1ukn0w:

stream:

Men in Black (1997) dir. Barry Sonnenfeld

Okay but the subtextual message about racial profiling in this movie is fucking brilliant.

I never saw it that way, but it’s so true. 
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skull-bearer:

Debatable who that lucky soul was. I’m going with Nigel Farage but frankly Boris Johnson is also a sure bet.

THE STUPID! IT GROWS!

It is now more evolved than the standard UKIP voter.

Now reaching about the time of the last general election…

Oustria! Czeching out! Finnish!

Ironic a game 5 years old is perfectly accurate today….

David Cameron: Officially worse than the common cold.

And here I thought it was just me….

Pretty sure Brexiters are anti-vax too.

Ha! See what happens when you take Gibraltar?

Breers: We didn’t think it would actually happen! Blame Corbyn!

It was a mercy kill.

In Summary:

Reblogging since it’s more relevant by the day.
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goldenxtongued:

kropotkindersurprise:

June 2019 - Protesters in Hong Kong use traffic cones to contain the gas from tear gas grenades, then drown them in water. [video]

reblogging for uh. pure scientific purposes
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*reads steve/tony fics*

*finds steve and tony tsum-tsums and sits them together on the desk*

*all is right in this little room*
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People of the jury, are you or do you know someone who’s good at drawing commissions? Because I really need to get the definitive Nate portrait done. 

Nate is african-american, anorexic and usually wears slinky red dresses. If that sounds like somethings you can do, I can offer monies.
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dreamers-and-seekers:

too-cool-for-facebook:

chipmunkwithwings:

scootscoot5000:

prridot:

cold-and-analytical:

thelogicalloganipus:

sanders-trash-4ever:

beggars-opera:

I’d like to introduce everyone to my new theme song

fuckin MOOD

I love the contrast between the lyrics and the melody this is art

pfffffffft nooooo I didn’t just learn this song on ukulele… at midnight…

Lyrics: 

I’ve tried, tried, triedAnd I’ve tried even more I’ve Cried, Cried, CriedAnd I can’t recall what forI’ve pressed, I’ve pushed, I’ve yelled, I’ve beggedIn hope of some success
 But the inevitable fact is thatIt never will impress 

I’ve no more fucks to give,  My fucks have runneth dry, I’ve tried to go fuck shopping But there’s no fucks left to buy
 I’ve no more fucks to give, Though more fucks I’ve tried to get, I’m over my fuck budget andI’m now in fucking debt 

I strive, strive, strive To get everything done I’ve played by all the rules
But I’ve very rarely won,
I’ve smiled, I’ve charmed, I’ve wooed
I’ve laughed,
Alas to no avail
I’ve run round like a moron,
To unequivocally fail!

I’ve no more fucks to give,
My fuck fuse has just blown,
I’ve been hunting for my fucks all day,
But they’ve upped and fucked off home,
I’ve no more fucks to give,
My fuck rations are depleted,
I’ve rallied my fuck army but
It’s been fucking defeated! 

The effort has just not been worthThe time or the expenseI’ve exhausted all my energy For minimal recompenseThe complete lack of acknowledgement Has now begun to gallAnd I’ve come to realise that I Don’t give a fuck at all!

I’ve no more fucks to give,
My fucks have flown away,
My fucks are now so fucked off
They’ve refused to fucking stay!
I’ve no more fucks to give,
My fucks have gone insane
They’ve come back round and passed me
While they’re fucking off again!

I’ve no more fucks to give,
My fucks have all dissolved,
I’ve planned many projects
But my fucks won’t be involved!
I’ve no more fucks to give,
My fucks have all been spent,
They’ve fucked off from the building
And I don’t know where they went! 

I’ve no more fucks to give, I’ve no more fucks to give, I’ve no more fucks, I’ve no more fucks, I’ve no more fucks to give!

Good news folks it’s on Spotify!!!

im going to be reblogging this every few hours to make sure every single one of my followers gets to see this epic post

give this man a fucking award

This song should play every time I enter the room
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poplitealqueen:

Ever wondered where this meme image came from? Well, sit back, relax, and I’ll spin you the yarn.

Buddy Christ here is from a 1999 satirical comedy (think Good Omens meets The DaVinci Code meets Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure) by the name of Dogma, written and directed by Kevin Smith, that I had the pleasure to have as the first movie on my 52 Movies in 2018 List. Dogma is the story of a Catholic abortion clinic worker called upon by the powers of God him…her…themselves to stop two fallen angels from exploiting a loophole to get back into Heaven and erasing all of existence in the process.

At first glance, this movie seems the sort that was made purely to mock religious institutions, and it does do that, but in rare form, it does something more as well. Throughout Dogma there is a pervading sense of faith: faith lost, faith found, faith in oneself, faith in others, and faith in a higher power. While this is present, however, the movie never shies away from questioning it. Often in comedic, downright bizarre ways, though there are a handful of scenes – particularly one where Bethany (played by lovely Linda Fiorentino) and Metatron (played by the late yet eternally badass Alan Rickman) talk about Jesus and how fucked up it was to burden a 12 year old with the knowledge of the divine, or the moment when Loki (played by a young blond Matt Damon) and Bartleby (played by Ben Affleck) switch characteristics, Loki becoming the silent sympathetic watcher while Bartleby becomes the justice-hungry genocidal maniac, to name but a couple – that go completely, balls-to-the-wall serious, and they do it awesomely.

But enough about how this movie surprises! Let’s delve deep into it, shall we?

We should start with the man that brought it all together: Kevin Smith.

I have a particular fondness for this man, reserved only for those that simultaneously don’t give a fuck and yet inexplicably manage to care. This can be showcased perfectly in two instances:

Kevin Smith joins a group of protesters against his own movie because he thinks it would be funny.

Kevin Smith not only renounces Weinstein, but donates residuals from Weinstein-made movies to women in film.

This is the type of guy, and possibly the only type of guy, that could make a movie like this work, and he does. Questions about gender and racial bias in the Bible, as well as the commercialization of religion go hand-in-hand with an inherent respect for faith. Dogma isn’t about learning to hate religion or belief – it’s about retaining the ability to question that belief, or else risk losing what makes faith important in the first place: the idea that, while eternal, it can change and grow.

It’s also always important to point out music. HOWARD SHORE. Yep! Howard Shore created the score for this movie, and you can feel it, too. Shore scores know how to pull off the epic journey feel, whether it be a journey to Mount Doom or a small church in New Jersey.

So we have the writer/director, we have the composer, now the last yet most important part: the Cast. The Main Ones, at least.

There’s Bethany Sloane, the unfortunately heterosexual (really, it’s very unfortunate) questioning Catholic main character, and the great-great-great-etc-etc-great grandniece of Jesus Christ.

There’s Jay (played by a very 90s Jason Mewes), a constantly high, talkative, bisexual-why-won’t-he-just-admit-it, sex-crazed Prophet, and his, as he so wonderfully puts it, ‘Hetero Life Mate’, Silent Bob (played by none other than Kevin Smith himself), another Prophet that manages to endear despite only having a handful of words throughout the entire movie.

There’s Rufus (played by Chris Rock), the 13th Apostle left out of the Bible because he’s black who comes back to Earth to help Bethany in her quest.

And there’s Serendipity (played by the always lovely Selma Hayek), a muse with writer’s block and quite a lot of wonderful things to say about how women are treated in the Bible, much like how Rufus has quite a lot of wonderful things to say about how anyone that isn’t white is treated. If you couldn’t tell by my constant use of ‘wonderful’, I love these two.

Together, this group has to stop a pair of renegade angels from getting back into Heaven, Loki (no, not that Loki. This one was the Angel of Death and, no, they never explain it) and Bartleby (once a Watcher, he was the one that convinced his boyfrie–cough, uh, friend to give up being an Angel of Death, and because of this they were both kicked out of Paradise and into Wisconsin for all eternity).

NOW would be a good time to explain how two Fallen Angels plan to get back into Heaven, I think. It’s really quite simple: due to greed and a need to be ‘relevant’ again, a small Catholic church in New Jersey starts a campaign called Catholicism WOW!, which is where Buddy Christ comes from, as a way to convince people that the Catholic Church is friendly and more than deserving of their patronage. To cement this fact, that small Catholic church in Red Bank, New Jersey holds a re-dedication ceremony, and anyone that enters the church during the re-dedication festivities will receive a plenary indulgence, pardoning all sins and permitting direct entry into Heaven.

Essentially, this loophole is their ticket home, as well as obvious proof that God is fallible, and if God is fallible? All creation is, too.

Which brings us to why the Hell this all begins.

(Pledge a dollar on my Patreon to read the rest!)

Also the bishop of Catholicism WOW is the late George Carlin. Which is about the most perfect casting imaginable.
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nervousnotion:

Northanger Abbey is so underrated like no offense but the heroine of that book is into sports and shenanigans growing up and doesn’t learn anything in school or have any accomplishments or interests until she has a growth spurt, gets hot, and reads so many gothic novels that she almost ruins her relationship w her love interest bc she convinces herself his house is haunted and does an inappropriate ghost hunt.

I love how the narrator of that book is trying to make this into a gothic novel but is constantly being thwarted by Catherine just being too sensible for the plot. My favourite is the scene where Catherine sees her love interest speaking to another woman.

Narrator: *perks up* What heartbreaking moment is this? How spurned and dejected Catherine must feel that her affections are so cruelly rejected and-

Catherine: This must be the sister he mentioned! I’ll go and say hi.

Narrator: … *Goes to get another martini*
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classannalampost:

firebreathingeli:

actualscience:

firebreathingeli:

actualscience:

firebreathingeli:

actualscience:

firebreathingeli:

actualscience:

firebreathingeli:

actualscience:

firebreathingeli:

actualscience:

firebreathingeli:

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

i do bite my thumb, sir

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

is the law on our side if i say ay?

No

no, sir, i do not bite my thumb at you sir; but I bite my thumb, sir

Do you quarrel, sir?

quarrel, sir? no sir

if you do, sir, i am for you: i serve as good a man as you

No better

well, sir

DOST THOU WANT TO FUCKING GO, SIR?

DOST THOU THINK THOU CAN FUCKING TAKE ME, BRO?

DOST THOU EVEN HOIST? OUT TO THE COURT YARD, WITH HASTE.  

The Shakespeare fandom is out of control

Given the oldschool Shakespeare fandom (and author) once stole a theater, I think they’re just carrying on the good work.
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Falling - Skull_Bearer - Venom (Movie 2018) [Archive of Our Own]:

apprenticenanoswarm:

skull-bearer:

Chapters: 2/?
Fandom: Venom (Movie 2018), Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote, Oliva Octavius/Dora Skirth, please don’t tell me this is the first time someone’s written this ship
Characters: Eddie Brock, Venom, Miles Morales, Peter B. Parker, Gwen Stacy, Eddie Brock (yes he’s in this twice), Olivia Octavius, Dora Skirth, Carlton Drake
Additional Tags: Multiverse, spiderverse, Venom in Miles’ Spiderverse, Humor, Dastardly Supervillains, Miles as matchmaker, Getting Together, Cute, Cuddles, Sweet Venom, How comics verse would have gone if Spiderman wasn’t such a cock, Dating, Just generally adorable this is fluff, Canon-Typical Violence, Evil scientists in love, morally dubious assholes in love, Peter B Parker hates symbiotes
Summary:

It starts with being trapped on a burning spaceship.

It end with the multiverses colliding again.

Along the way, Miles meets celebrities, punches a friend, and helps the course of true love.

Chapter 2: Miles plays matchmaker and Eddie falls in love like the ton of idiot bricks he is.

Olivia Octavius/Dora Skirth

Olivia Octavius/Dora Skirth

Olivia Octavius/Dora Skirth

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS THE ONLY FIC WITH THOSE TAGS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE.

November 2019

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