The sex meme of ultimate brain scarring
Aug. 1st, 2007 01:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skull_bearerINTERVERSE SEX MEME
First, list your twelve characters:
1 Raistlin
2 Dalamar
3 Elric
4 Erik Lehnsherr
5 Charles Xavier
6 Daenarys
7 Lord Voldemort
8 Temeraire (to those who have never read Naomi Novik, Termeraire is a dragon. Now go out and buy yourselves a copy)
9 Fistandantilus
10 Kitiara
11 Caramon
12 Harry Potter
1. Does 10 strike you as a voyeur or an exhibitionist?
Both, and into just about every kink bar watersports, and I'm not putting my money against that either.
2. Who in all the multiverse would 11 most likely bottom to?
Raistlin, however this would be probably the worst possible thing to happen to either of them. Caramon would be getting off lucky because he wouldn't live long afterward. Raistlin, unfortunately, would have to live with the knowledge.
3. Would you rather do 3 or 5?
Hmm, Elric or Charles? While I do admit Charles is very good looking (particularly while played by Patrick Steward) I would have to say Elric. He's hot, incredible in bed, respects women and if most of love interests tend to have a short lifespan, that goes for everyone on the same world as the guy, so I'm not too bothered.
4. Which of 4 and 1 would you rather have do you?
While Raistlin is good looking I wouldn't want to inflict myself of him (being female and all, bad memories). Magneto on the other hand... Dude, if I had the pick of any fictional character. He'd be the one. While he's having one of his sane periods, of course. I mean, he's hot as hell, has very... applicable powers, is canonically incredibly devoted and loving, and has great respect for women. I'm over here sweetie.
5. 12 + 2 are having sex in an airplane. Construct a snippet of dialogue that happens during this encounter.
*Scene- Skull Bearer Airlines, transporting you to a better place, via unimaginable hardship*
Harry Potter: *gets out of 'canon fodder' seat to go to the loo*
Voldemort: *Peers around 'protagonist' seat and raises wand at Potter.* Nymphomanio.
Harry Potter: Is it just me or is it getting hot in here? *goes to loo*
Dalamar: *also needs a toilet trip, gets up to go*
Voldemort: Nymphomanio.
Dalamar& Harry Potter: *are gone for a while*
Raistlin: Where has Dalamar gone, sure it can't be taking that long. *gets up to check*
Voldemort: *evil grin*
Toilet: *explodes*
Elric: Why do I have the feeling you have something to do with this?
Voldemort: No reason.
Fistandantilus: I may have to marry you.
6. Would you pay to see naked pictures of 11? Have you? Where can the rest of us find these pictures?
No, no, and if you really want to, I suppose you can ask Kitiara. Why she has them I have no idea, and where she got them from I don't want to know.
7. Where are 5 and 9 most likely to have sex? Who on your flist is most likely to write it?
Charles and Fistandantilus? I see that as being a purely mental... union. Thank God. I think I see this as one of Roachspit's works, don't you?
8. When 12 masturbates, s/he thinks about...
His wand, and how long and hard it is...
9. What is 11's favorite sex toy?
To be honest, I don't think he has one. However, he has had some dreams about his brother's staff which he's woken from feeling filthy and disgusted, and will never admit he secretly likes.
10. Come up with a title for a 12/7/1 threeway. Would you read it? Would you write it? What would some of the warnings be?
Between Earth and the Abyss. I would read it out of sheer horrified curiosity, but would never writing (I've taken a vow abstainign Raistlin adn Dalamar from sex with anyone but each other. It would be about Harry Potter managing to piss Raistlin off to such a point he starts to listen to some of Vodlemort's friends about what to do with the brat. Unfortunately, Voldemort also things this is a good idea.
Warnings: Bestiality, BDSM, Non-con, toys, underage, etc, etc etc. Six-Apart's worse nightmare.
11. Who's more likely to be tied up during (consensual) sex, 2 or 6?
Hmm, I'd say Dalamar. Daenarys might, but I'm not too sure she'd enjoy it that much, she's had too much experience being at someone else's mercy to get into it. She'd do it if the person she was with liked it. Dalamar, on the other hand, provided it's someone he can really trust (Raistlin), would be really into it.
12. If 11 and 3 are carrying on a torrid and forbidden love affair, who's most likely to spill the beans? What would the other person do to retaliate?
Elric and Caramon? Elric, I'm ashamed of you, nice straight boy like you... caramon would be the one to spill, and to Tika no less, he could never lie to her. Tike would be livid and chase Caramon three times around the Inn of the Last Home with her skillet, only stopping when Elric comes in and she can vent her speen on him instead.
13. As a birthday present, 7's longtime lover 5 offers to do whatever 7 wants in bed. What's 7's secret birthday wish?
Voldemort? He'd probably ask if he could get inside Charles' mind for once, since I'm seeing Charles' telepathy as being way stronger than Legitimancy. Charles would probably agree, and regert it for the rest of his life.
14. Choose a food item for 4 & 12 to use together.
I don't think that's applicable, Magneto wouldn't accept any sex toys that don't contain metal, so unless where talking whisks here, I'm not sure. Maybe blood? Potter spends most of his time up to his elbows in it, and it's got iron in it.
15. 8 + 4 are in a fulltime D/s relationship. Who's the top?
Me. If there's a relationship between a smokin' hot dragon and hard-as-iron Magneto, I'm making it a threesome.
16. Which fetish is 9 least likely to indulge?
Turnabout. No way in fuck Fistandantilus is letting anyone top him.
17. What would you do if you had 8 naked, willing, and ready in your bed? What would 5 do if s/he had 8 naked, willing and able in his/her bed?
Seeing as 8's a dragon, that would be a pretty friggin' big bed. I would totally jump in and go for it though. Yeah baby! Charles would probably just stop and wonder why there was a dragon in his bed, and how it got in, and yell for Erik.
18. What wouldn't 10 + 4 tell their friends about their sex life, assuming they had both a mutual sex life and some friends?
Kitiara wouldn't because she'd be rather embarassed at having someone with that many issues in her bed. I mean, on the baggage front, Erik tops Tanis. Erik wouldn't tell anyone because Kitiara wouldn't have let him out of her bed yet.
19. 10 gets a tattoo to declare his/her eternal love for 9. Where is it? What does it say?
It's Kitiara, so she's got it on her arse. It says 'undead do it will all their bones'. Lord Soth is jealous.
Lord Soth: So then after all I've done to get her, she runs off with this crazy old lich. I mean, so what if he's got a corperal presence, he's all bones! But now she won't return any of my calls, and she's got her ectoplasm tattooed. I've always been against that sort of thing...
Andras Rannoch: *is wondering why he ever signed up for the 'undead marriage councellor' job.*
20. Imagine that 2 writes erotic 11/6 fic. What sort of summary might the fic he/she writes have?
"When Caramon went to fight the three dragons that were holding the beautiful princess prisoner, he had no idea of the hand fate was about to deal him..."
Caramon would fight and kill the dragons, shag Daenarys, then she finds out he killed her dragons and orders his manhood cut off and fed to the goats. It would be wish-fulfillment for Dalamar.
21. If 2 walked into the room wearing nothing but a red thong and a feather boa, how would 8 react?
Temeraire: *blinks many times at the sight of Dalamar in a feather boa* Is this some sort of mating ritual?
Just our luck that he would be the only one on the list not to appreciate the sight of Dalamar in a thong and feather boa.
22. And the obligatory fill in the blanks erotic fairy tale: 9 and 1 are having a quickie in a broom closet when 8 walks in on them. Naturally enough, 8 joins in, first paging 3, who's in the middle of fucking 5 into the mattress. 3 abandons 5 on the verge of orgasm, excited by the possibility of illicit broom closet sex, and 5, irate, becomes a highly paid prostitute until the well-meaning and generous 4 attempts to rescue her. But 5 will have none of it, refuses to be redeemed, and opens a high-class brothel in Los Angeles, where 10 is one of his/her regular clients.
Sooo... That's Raistlin and Fistandantilus, which is awkward considering they're currently sharing a body, so would that mean Fistandantilus is wanking off and forcing Raistlin to watch? Anyway, Temeraire sticks his head in, and asks what they're doing. Fistandantilus tells him to suck him off because hey, it isn't his cock. Temeraire does so, first deciding to call Elric because he knows Elric likes dragons and wizards and might enjoy this.
Elric is, for some reason, having sex with Charles, but is obviously not enjoying it (psst, sweetie? You're straight, go off with Daenarys), so when Temeraire calls him, he dumps Charles and goes off to have three-four way sex with a confused Temeraire, a very amused Fistandantilus, and a Raistlin who is desperately wishing he was dead.
Charles is pissed and ends up as a high class protitute (hell, he's a telepath, he doesn't even need to have sex), Erik is understandably worried about him and tried to talk him out of it, but while Charles loves Erik, his school really does need the money. Erik offers to pay for it, because hell, what's money when you can practically make gold? But Charles is insistant, he doesn't want the school indebted to a known terrorist, and quite frankly dumping that amount of gold into the economy simply cannot be good for it. However, he agree it's probably best to stop being so invoved himself, and so opens a necropillia/bestiality brothel (Charles learns from his mistakes), in which Kitiara is a frequent visitor.
And they all lived... well, not exactly happily, and some of them don't even actually 'live', so they, uh 'existed'. Except they don't, thank god.
a) The story you've just written is closest to the canon of which 'verse? b) What would you entitle this story? c) who's most out of character? d) who on your flist would read it? e) who on your flist is probably writing this right now?
a. If there is any story anywhere with this plot, I'd be better off not knowing about it. Actually, there probably is, and I'd bet my skull it's Japanese.
b. 'The Economy of Sex'.
c. Probably Fistandantilus. I really can't imagine him ever being into sex.
d. Everyone who's daft enough to disregard the 'mental scarring warning'.
e. Roachspit.
First, list your twelve characters:
1 Raistlin
2 Dalamar
3 Elric
4 Erik Lehnsherr
5 Charles Xavier
6 Daenarys
7 Lord Voldemort
8 Temeraire (to those who have never read Naomi Novik, Termeraire is a dragon. Now go out and buy yourselves a copy)
9 Fistandantilus
10 Kitiara
11 Caramon
12 Harry Potter
1. Does 10 strike you as a voyeur or an exhibitionist?
Both, and into just about every kink bar watersports, and I'm not putting my money against that either.
2. Who in all the multiverse would 11 most likely bottom to?
Raistlin, however this would be probably the worst possible thing to happen to either of them. Caramon would be getting off lucky because he wouldn't live long afterward. Raistlin, unfortunately, would have to live with the knowledge.
3. Would you rather do 3 or 5?
Hmm, Elric or Charles? While I do admit Charles is very good looking (particularly while played by Patrick Steward) I would have to say Elric. He's hot, incredible in bed, respects women and if most of love interests tend to have a short lifespan, that goes for everyone on the same world as the guy, so I'm not too bothered.
4. Which of 4 and 1 would you rather have do you?
While Raistlin is good looking I wouldn't want to inflict myself of him (being female and all, bad memories). Magneto on the other hand... Dude, if I had the pick of any fictional character. He'd be the one. While he's having one of his sane periods, of course. I mean, he's hot as hell, has very... applicable powers, is canonically incredibly devoted and loving, and has great respect for women. I'm over here sweetie.
5. 12 + 2 are having sex in an airplane. Construct a snippet of dialogue that happens during this encounter.
*Scene- Skull Bearer Airlines, transporting you to a better place, via unimaginable hardship*
Harry Potter: *gets out of 'canon fodder' seat to go to the loo*
Voldemort: *Peers around 'protagonist' seat and raises wand at Potter.* Nymphomanio.
Harry Potter: Is it just me or is it getting hot in here? *goes to loo*
Dalamar: *also needs a toilet trip, gets up to go*
Voldemort: Nymphomanio.
Dalamar& Harry Potter: *are gone for a while*
Raistlin: Where has Dalamar gone, sure it can't be taking that long. *gets up to check*
Voldemort: *evil grin*
Toilet: *explodes*
Elric: Why do I have the feeling you have something to do with this?
Voldemort: No reason.
Fistandantilus: I may have to marry you.
6. Would you pay to see naked pictures of 11? Have you? Where can the rest of us find these pictures?
No, no, and if you really want to, I suppose you can ask Kitiara. Why she has them I have no idea, and where she got them from I don't want to know.
7. Where are 5 and 9 most likely to have sex? Who on your flist is most likely to write it?
Charles and Fistandantilus? I see that as being a purely mental... union. Thank God. I think I see this as one of Roachspit's works, don't you?
8. When 12 masturbates, s/he thinks about...
His wand, and how long and hard it is...
9. What is 11's favorite sex toy?
To be honest, I don't think he has one. However, he has had some dreams about his brother's staff which he's woken from feeling filthy and disgusted, and will never admit he secretly likes.
10. Come up with a title for a 12/7/1 threeway. Would you read it? Would you write it? What would some of the warnings be?
Between Earth and the Abyss. I would read it out of sheer horrified curiosity, but would never writing (I've taken a vow abstainign Raistlin adn Dalamar from sex with anyone but each other. It would be about Harry Potter managing to piss Raistlin off to such a point he starts to listen to some of Vodlemort's friends about what to do with the brat. Unfortunately, Voldemort also things this is a good idea.
Warnings: Bestiality, BDSM, Non-con, toys, underage, etc, etc etc. Six-Apart's worse nightmare.
11. Who's more likely to be tied up during (consensual) sex, 2 or 6?
Hmm, I'd say Dalamar. Daenarys might, but I'm not too sure she'd enjoy it that much, she's had too much experience being at someone else's mercy to get into it. She'd do it if the person she was with liked it. Dalamar, on the other hand, provided it's someone he can really trust (Raistlin), would be really into it.
12. If 11 and 3 are carrying on a torrid and forbidden love affair, who's most likely to spill the beans? What would the other person do to retaliate?
Elric and Caramon? Elric, I'm ashamed of you, nice straight boy like you... caramon would be the one to spill, and to Tika no less, he could never lie to her. Tike would be livid and chase Caramon three times around the Inn of the Last Home with her skillet, only stopping when Elric comes in and she can vent her speen on him instead.
13. As a birthday present, 7's longtime lover 5 offers to do whatever 7 wants in bed. What's 7's secret birthday wish?
Voldemort? He'd probably ask if he could get inside Charles' mind for once, since I'm seeing Charles' telepathy as being way stronger than Legitimancy. Charles would probably agree, and regert it for the rest of his life.
14. Choose a food item for 4 & 12 to use together.
I don't think that's applicable, Magneto wouldn't accept any sex toys that don't contain metal, so unless where talking whisks here, I'm not sure. Maybe blood? Potter spends most of his time up to his elbows in it, and it's got iron in it.
15. 8 + 4 are in a fulltime D/s relationship. Who's the top?
Me. If there's a relationship between a smokin' hot dragon and hard-as-iron Magneto, I'm making it a threesome.
16. Which fetish is 9 least likely to indulge?
Turnabout. No way in fuck Fistandantilus is letting anyone top him.
17. What would you do if you had 8 naked, willing, and ready in your bed? What would 5 do if s/he had 8 naked, willing and able in his/her bed?
Seeing as 8's a dragon, that would be a pretty friggin' big bed. I would totally jump in and go for it though. Yeah baby! Charles would probably just stop and wonder why there was a dragon in his bed, and how it got in, and yell for Erik.
18. What wouldn't 10 + 4 tell their friends about their sex life, assuming they had both a mutual sex life and some friends?
Kitiara wouldn't because she'd be rather embarassed at having someone with that many issues in her bed. I mean, on the baggage front, Erik tops Tanis. Erik wouldn't tell anyone because Kitiara wouldn't have let him out of her bed yet.
19. 10 gets a tattoo to declare his/her eternal love for 9. Where is it? What does it say?
It's Kitiara, so she's got it on her arse. It says 'undead do it will all their bones'. Lord Soth is jealous.
Lord Soth: So then after all I've done to get her, she runs off with this crazy old lich. I mean, so what if he's got a corperal presence, he's all bones! But now she won't return any of my calls, and she's got her ectoplasm tattooed. I've always been against that sort of thing...
Andras Rannoch: *is wondering why he ever signed up for the 'undead marriage councellor' job.*
20. Imagine that 2 writes erotic 11/6 fic. What sort of summary might the fic he/she writes have?
"When Caramon went to fight the three dragons that were holding the beautiful princess prisoner, he had no idea of the hand fate was about to deal him..."
Caramon would fight and kill the dragons, shag Daenarys, then she finds out he killed her dragons and orders his manhood cut off and fed to the goats. It would be wish-fulfillment for Dalamar.
21. If 2 walked into the room wearing nothing but a red thong and a feather boa, how would 8 react?
Temeraire: *blinks many times at the sight of Dalamar in a feather boa* Is this some sort of mating ritual?
Just our luck that he would be the only one on the list not to appreciate the sight of Dalamar in a thong and feather boa.
22. And the obligatory fill in the blanks erotic fairy tale: 9 and 1 are having a quickie in a broom closet when 8 walks in on them. Naturally enough, 8 joins in, first paging 3, who's in the middle of fucking 5 into the mattress. 3 abandons 5 on the verge of orgasm, excited by the possibility of illicit broom closet sex, and 5, irate, becomes a highly paid prostitute until the well-meaning and generous 4 attempts to rescue her. But 5 will have none of it, refuses to be redeemed, and opens a high-class brothel in Los Angeles, where 10 is one of his/her regular clients.
Sooo... That's Raistlin and Fistandantilus, which is awkward considering they're currently sharing a body, so would that mean Fistandantilus is wanking off and forcing Raistlin to watch? Anyway, Temeraire sticks his head in, and asks what they're doing. Fistandantilus tells him to suck him off because hey, it isn't his cock. Temeraire does so, first deciding to call Elric because he knows Elric likes dragons and wizards and might enjoy this.
Elric is, for some reason, having sex with Charles, but is obviously not enjoying it (psst, sweetie? You're straight, go off with Daenarys), so when Temeraire calls him, he dumps Charles and goes off to have three-four way sex with a confused Temeraire, a very amused Fistandantilus, and a Raistlin who is desperately wishing he was dead.
Charles is pissed and ends up as a high class protitute (hell, he's a telepath, he doesn't even need to have sex), Erik is understandably worried about him and tried to talk him out of it, but while Charles loves Erik, his school really does need the money. Erik offers to pay for it, because hell, what's money when you can practically make gold? But Charles is insistant, he doesn't want the school indebted to a known terrorist, and quite frankly dumping that amount of gold into the economy simply cannot be good for it. However, he agree it's probably best to stop being so invoved himself, and so opens a necropillia/bestiality brothel (Charles learns from his mistakes), in which Kitiara is a frequent visitor.
And they all lived... well, not exactly happily, and some of them don't even actually 'live', so they, uh 'existed'. Except they don't, thank god.
a) The story you've just written is closest to the canon of which 'verse? b) What would you entitle this story? c) who's most out of character? d) who on your flist would read it? e) who on your flist is probably writing this right now?
a. If there is any story anywhere with this plot, I'd be better off not knowing about it. Actually, there probably is, and I'd bet my skull it's Japanese.
b. 'The Economy of Sex'.
c. Probably Fistandantilus. I really can't imagine him ever being into sex.
d. Everyone who's daft enough to disregard the 'mental scarring warning'.
e. Roachspit.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-01 11:24 am (UTC)OW my brain x_X
(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-01 08:08 pm (UTC)Seriously, 'mental scarring' isn't nearly strong enough. Dalamar in a feather boa? NO!!! (Not even drunkenness can explain that!)
Most of those pairings were so disturbing, Kitiara/Charles/Tanis actually seems normal in comparison. (And Charles is SO topping Tanis! *lol* Kit will write a long letter with the details to Laurana.)
Raistlin/Caramon is plausible enough to be really, really squicky, but most of the others were just weird enough to be very amusing. *chuckles over all of them*
Raistlin/Voldemort/Harry horrifies me, though. I'm pretty sure the only explanation is Raistlin having a Fistandantilus-dominated phase.
What really cracked me up was Kit with the tattoo (tatooed ectoplasm for the win), and Dalamar writing Caramon/Dany. Tsk, Dalamar, writing het makes you go blind, didn't you know? (Though, from the list available, most pairings would have been worse.)
But where was the usual self-insertion?
Oh, right, busy with Magneto and a dragon. *is NOT thinking about the mechanics of dragon sex right now*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-02 12:10 am (UTC)I laughed so hard while doing this, mostly because hey, you try and turn a dragon/lich/Elric/Raistlin four-way into a plausable story, not to mention having Charles running a brothel. LOL!!
(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-02 08:29 am (UTC)Yes, I loved that line, too!
And you know that you will have to write Dalamar bondage porn now, right? *hopeful squee*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-08-04 12:50 pm (UTC)Oooooh...Dalamar bondage porn...that is a gooooood mental image. Although your valentine's PWP with Raistlin not letting Dalamar do anything is borderline ^_^