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“But we do want you.” Venom looks confused. He never used to look this confused, but seems to be making a habit of it in this conversation.
Eddie sighs, running his fingers through his hair for the thousandth time. It must be sticking up everywhere by now. “But you don’t need me, that’s what I mean.”
“Of course we need you!” Venom half wails, “We would die without you, Eddie!”
“Not like that!” Oh fuck, how is Eddie supposed to explain any of this? “I mean I- I need you. I want you. Sexually. I want to have sex with you, and you don’t.”
“But we do.” Venom slumps in his arms. He’s so lost, he doesn’t understand. “Of course we want to-”
“You want to because I do.” Eddie says finally. “To make me happy and- satisfied and all that mammalian stuff. If I didn’t want to have sex, would you?”
Venom pauses, doesn’t answer at once. Eddie closes his eyes. He knows the answer. Oh, it’s no hardship for Vee, it’s not like he doesn’t like sex, but it’s just- an Eddie thing. Like eating back guys is a Vee thing. And Eddie doesn’t mind eating bad guys, it’s fun, and Venom needs the food. But sex-
It’s not just the physical part of it. If Eddie wanted that he’d keep it between him and his right hand. He wants to be wanted. He wants to know the person he’s with looks at him with desire.
Annie had, Annie’s eyes would just- light up, every time he took his shirt off. God, it felt so good.
“And we cannot do that.” Venom looks away, and Eddie feels a bolt of self-loathing that isn’t his. Just a small thing, that Eddie wants, such a small thing and he couldn’t even do that-
“Hey hey, no.” Eddie pulls him close. “Don’t think like that. It’s not your fault.” He sighs. “It’s not anyone’s fault.”
For a moment, he wishes they weren’t so close. It’s the best and dearest thing they have, their connection, but just for this, it would be better to have some space. They could pretend, not ask the awkward questions and try and ignore the reality in front of them-
Wouldn’t have worked, Eddie.
“Nah.” Eddie agrees. “No wonder I fuck up relationships.”
“We could-” Venom can barely get the words out and it’s killing him, but, “If you want. We could go- there are people. Like us. Who aren’t interested. We read about them. We could- go. You wouldn’t have to-”
“No!” Eddie yells, hands tightening on Venom, in case he tried even now to pull away. “Hell fuck no. I don’t want- I want you here, I never want to you to-” He swallows, because what if Venom does? “If you wanted to-” he whispers. “If it would work better for you-”
“No!” But Venom is sliding into his arms, huddling against his chest, warm and slick in his hands. “Never, Eddie. Only you.”
Eddie nods, and feels the awful panic slowly bank in his stomach, fading to cool shivers. “I love you.” Eddie whispers.
“I love you too, Eddie.” Venom lifts his head and presses his mouth to Eddie, he loves this, at least. Kissing is a revelation to Vee, but sex-
Well, he doesn’t even have the parts for it, the nervous system for arousal, and even if he did, that’s still no guarantee. Plenty of people don’t feel sexual attraction.
“If you wanted to,” Venom murmurs, almost too low to hear, as if Eddie can’t feel the word reverberate in the chambers of his heart, “You could find someone else. Just for sex. We wouldn’t mind, as long as it was just sex, nothing else.”
Eddie shakes his head, for him at least, it was never just sex. “It’s okay. I’ll be okay.” He’s had dry spells before, and they didn’t bother him too much. “If you can put up with porn and me jerking off now and then.”
“We still want to help.” Venom looks at him pleadingly, wide white eyes adorable in his sleek head. “You are beautiful in pleasure, Eddie, we can feel that, we want to see it.”
Eddie smiles, “I think we can work something out.”
“But we do want you.” Venom looks confused. He never used to look this confused, but seems to be making a habit of it in this conversation.
Eddie sighs, running his fingers through his hair for the thousandth time. It must be sticking up everywhere by now. “But you don’t need me, that’s what I mean.”
“Of course we need you!” Venom half wails, “We would die without you, Eddie!”
“Not like that!” Oh fuck, how is Eddie supposed to explain any of this? “I mean I- I need you. I want you. Sexually. I want to have sex with you, and you don’t.”
“But we do.” Venom slumps in his arms. He’s so lost, he doesn’t understand. “Of course we want to-”
“You want to because I do.” Eddie says finally. “To make me happy and- satisfied and all that mammalian stuff. If I didn’t want to have sex, would you?”
Venom pauses, doesn’t answer at once. Eddie closes his eyes. He knows the answer. Oh, it’s no hardship for Vee, it’s not like he doesn’t like sex, but it’s just- an Eddie thing. Like eating back guys is a Vee thing. And Eddie doesn’t mind eating bad guys, it’s fun, and Venom needs the food. But sex-
It’s not just the physical part of it. If Eddie wanted that he’d keep it between him and his right hand. He wants to be wanted. He wants to know the person he’s with looks at him with desire.
Annie had, Annie’s eyes would just- light up, every time he took his shirt off. God, it felt so good.
“And we cannot do that.” Venom looks away, and Eddie feels a bolt of self-loathing that isn’t his. Just a small thing, that Eddie wants, such a small thing and he couldn’t even do that-
“Hey hey, no.” Eddie pulls him close. “Don’t think like that. It’s not your fault.” He sighs. “It’s not anyone’s fault.”
For a moment, he wishes they weren’t so close. It’s the best and dearest thing they have, their connection, but just for this, it would be better to have some space. They could pretend, not ask the awkward questions and try and ignore the reality in front of them-
Wouldn’t have worked, Eddie.
“Nah.” Eddie agrees. “No wonder I fuck up relationships.”
“We could-” Venom can barely get the words out and it’s killing him, but, “If you want. We could go- there are people. Like us. Who aren’t interested. We read about them. We could- go. You wouldn’t have to-”
“No!” Eddie yells, hands tightening on Venom, in case he tried even now to pull away. “Hell fuck no. I don’t want- I want you here, I never want to you to-” He swallows, because what if Venom does? “If you wanted to-” he whispers. “If it would work better for you-”
“No!” But Venom is sliding into his arms, huddling against his chest, warm and slick in his hands. “Never, Eddie. Only you.”
Eddie nods, and feels the awful panic slowly bank in his stomach, fading to cool shivers. “I love you.” Eddie whispers.
“I love you too, Eddie.” Venom lifts his head and presses his mouth to Eddie, he loves this, at least. Kissing is a revelation to Vee, but sex-
Well, he doesn’t even have the parts for it, the nervous system for arousal, and even if he did, that’s still no guarantee. Plenty of people don’t feel sexual attraction.
“If you wanted to,” Venom murmurs, almost too low to hear, as if Eddie can’t feel the word reverberate in the chambers of his heart, “You could find someone else. Just for sex. We wouldn’t mind, as long as it was just sex, nothing else.”
Eddie shakes his head, for him at least, it was never just sex. “It’s okay. I’ll be okay.” He’s had dry spells before, and they didn’t bother him too much. “If you can put up with porn and me jerking off now and then.”
“We still want to help.” Venom looks at him pleadingly, wide white eyes adorable in his sleek head. “You are beautiful in pleasure, Eddie, we can feel that, we want to see it.”
Eddie smiles, “I think we can work something out.”