Growing up

[skull_bearer]

My mother has decided to move to Bristol. This is not such an up-shit-creek situation as it is since I am supposed to be 22 and thus able of looking after myself. The flat will still be kept, so I can always crash there if everything goes tits-up, but I think I'd better be looking for new accomadation for next year at the latest. It's not ideal, I'd been planning to finish at uni before moving on. Mostly because I have no idea where to go next. Royal Holloway if I get the grades, if not, everywhere up to and including Israel. As it is, things are a bit of a scramble, but hey, if I do get to Holloway, at least I won't have to bother settling in. The course looks insanely intensive, so that will be time saved.
Also, it's good for my mum. She's on depression meds, and this does look like the light at the end of the very dark place she's been in lately. She can rent the flat, three/four lodgers (two singles and a double), my stepdad would be buying a house, so no rent, pension in ten or so years time. So pressure, no kids, no worries. My brother's more or less moved out already. I'm really so happy. i've been so scared about her lately, she's been so isolated. But moving down to a nice, quiet town, with my stepdad and my step-sister and her husband and so-to-be kid.... well, it's nice to know I won't need to worry about her anymore. She'll be living with people who'll do that, and who'll look after her.

All the same, it took me twenty minutes of self-pep-talking and my special hat to calm down.

In other news, I've found my second grey hair, and have become resigned to the fact I am probably going prematurely grey. I don't mind. I've never been interested in being attractive and I think I could really work the mad spinster look. I'd look a bit like a bespectacled Madam Hooch. Besides, I'm allergic to hair dye, so if I absolutely hated it it wouldn't change anything.

All my books have arrived for my travels next week. The postman woke me up to deliver the last shipment, one of which was Harry Turtledove's 'The Man With the Iron Heart' an alternate history story centering on Reinhardt Heydrich surviving that bomb and surviving to lead a 'war on terror' on the occupiers after the war. I opened the box to check they were all there, got into bed, and had a weird half-waking dream in which I thought Mengele was in the bed with me. We chatted for a while. He wanted to bring Heydrich in, I said the bed was too small and told him to take his boots off (he was in full uniform). It was pretty cool, and I woke up feeling amused and slightly confused.

I think... I really think I'm an adult now. It's pretty damn awesome. Scary, but awesome. Like doing a stunt which you're getting to know well, only without a safety net. I was terrified, when I was small, that I would lose my imagination as I grew up. I spent last morning chatting to a guy who's been dead longer than I've been alive. I don't think it's likely.

Comments

[splintertalon.livejournal.com]

I'm glad your mother has found a good turning in life. I kinda hope this will happen to mine too in a few years when I'm finally old enough to slope off to my own place, since they seem to be in similar situations (ain't meds a joy, huh?).
Still, I have at least another year of stolidly refusing to grow up left yet. If I'm needed I'll be over here, playing with plastic toy dinosaurs.

I laughed at that dream. I'm sure it means something, but I'll be damned if I know what. :P

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

That I'm spending far too much time with the good doktor, I think ;) What can I say, he's a bastard with a sense of humor, which is more than I can say for the half of those round here. Most of the time he just whispers something totally outrageous, I either laugh or groan 'shut up you.' It was nice to have a proper chat.

[notrafficlights.livejournal.com]

It takes so long and so much bullshit to get to the point where you feel like you can deal with things changing without falling apart too badly - which is generally how I define being an adult. I think I'm kind of getting there myself, though sometimes it definitely doesn't feel like it. I am so with you on the pep-talk things.

*hugs*

[arhh.livejournal.com]

Harry Turtledove :) I am not the only fan out there, yay :) I have not read this one yet, but it sounds great. I just finished one of his Cross Time Traffic series.

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

My faavourite is In the Presence of Mine Enemies. But then, i have something of a fetish for really nightmarish scenarios ;)

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's a huge change! Good luck to your mom, I hope she gets better with this! - And good luck to you for managing the whole living alone thing without starving, poisoning yourself, drowning in the washing machine or similar common household accidents... *ggg*
I'm kind of envious, but I have no idea how I'd afford a place of my own without getting over my head in debts. (I mean, deeper in than I already am. *sigh*)

In other news, I've found my second grey hair, and have become resigned to the fact I am probably going prematurely grey.

You as well? I found some on my head half a year or so ago when the dye had grown out enough to see. But I was expecting that, since it runs in the family. And since I die my hair anyway it won't change anything.

I could really work the mad spinster look

Yep. You could.

It was pretty cool, and I woke up feeling amused and slightly confused.

*shakes head* That would totally be my least likely reaction to dreams about nazis. The likeliest being to run screaming.

I think... I really think I'm an adult now. It's pretty damn awesome. Scary, but awesome. Like doing a stunt which you're getting to know well, only without a safety net. I was terrified, when I was small, that I would lose my imagination as I grew up. I spent last morning chatting to a guy who's been dead longer than I've been alive. I don't think it's likely.

Best attitude on the matter of growing up. ":-)

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

I have lived on my own before, and did survive. I have no doubts I would make it, and staying in London would make it easier. Home field advantage and all that.

Well, you can dye your hair, I can't. I'm not that bothered though. While I don't think I'd look as good as Erik, all my characters seem to have white hair ;)

I think I'm more or less getting used to him. The fact that he wasn't doing anything other than talking was helpful. but next time I'd like him to take his boots off to avoid getting mud and stuff over the bedclothes ;) Mengele's the only one who can shut Erik up, and for that I'll put up with him.

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Still, there are some characters I'm glad I do not have in my head.

[halokitty69.livejournal.com]

Adulthood is overrated :D Heh, I'm nearly 24 and I don't think I'm in any way an adult. More computer games and brightly coloured sweets now pls ^_^