Something of a problem

[skull_bearer]

I've had a plot-bunny. Frankly, I blame my genre teacher for telling me in my holocaust non-fiction piece 'try and think who this story (the Holocaust) belongs to and bring it into the story. Which got me thinking, what if I didn't care? What if I just went out and demanded every survivor story with no care as to whether the person actually wanted to tell it or not, because they'll be dead soon and their story lost for good?
Believe me, that's a grind I live with daily, the idea that not too far from now, my fascination will officially become 'dead history'. It's not a landmark I'm looking forward to.
This blended with a 'necromancer historian' story which was going nowhere, and resulted in a story in which I am, to put it bluntly, the antagonist. It actually seems to be workable, with only two problems:
1 - it is very obviously me in there.
2 - If I write it and get it published, any career as a historian I might have started will be over before you can say 'oh fuck'.

On the other hand, it would finally allow me to write Mengele into something and get the fucker out of my head, and for that alone I'll try and find the time.

So, any advice on what to do if you've got the burning desire to write something that could ruin your life? I have no wish to be seen as a heartless person who raises the unwilling souls of Holocaust victims to interrogate them and hangs out with the disembodied ghost of debatably one of the most evil doctors in human history. It's not me, but it's so like me its scary.

Comments

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

Several years ago I was invited by a writer friend to contribute to an anthology of true erotic tales involving military men. I was one of only two women asked to contribute because most of the tales were by gay men who were either in the US Armed Forces or had been. At the time I was still married to the-man-formerly-known-as-husband, and he was serving in a very high enlisted rank. So I had the story published under a pseudonym with no problem.

If by any chance your tale involves eroticizing Nazis, don't worry about it; Israel itself is a huge market for Nazi porn. And you certainly wouldn't be the first Jewish woman to eroticize Nazis. I'm one, and I know of many others.

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

Not really eroticising, although this story does star Mengele his political opinions barely feature. The real bad guy is a historian who won't take no for an answer, even after you're dead.

I'm not Jewish in fact, although you're the 195700th person to make that mistake ;)

[deborahkla.livejournal.com]

I thought you told me you were Jewish. My mistake!