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Stability, the search for



(Lewin is the unnamed CIA agent who takes in the mutants, he doesn't appear to have a canon name so he's Lewin. He looks like a Lewin)


(Notes on Mystique:


1- I consider that most of her insecurities about her body come from being afraid she will not find someone to love her as she is, at a time when most women still depended on finding a husband. In this world, this is not a problem.


2- Unlike canon!Mystique, this Mystique has spent a lot of her time looking after an emotionally traumatised Charles. More than that, she's a Dominant in a world where the Male-Female dynamic has been replaced by the Dominant-Submissive one. She is perfectly capable and willing to tell him where to get off.


3- I love Mystique, okay?)



Erik showers in the connecting bathroom, leaving the door open. It's absurd considering he can feel the man in his mind, but Erik just wants to be able to see Charles. To makes sure that this is no illusion, that he is real. He rests his head against the tiled wall, wondering madly if Shaw's telepath had done something to his head because this cannot be real. He cannot be this lucky. It's just impossible.


Charles stirs sleepily in his mind, warm and reassuring. In the bedroom, he rolls over, now facing Erik, looking at him through half open eyes before falling asleep again. He doesn't stir when Erik comes out of the bathroom and gets dressed, only murmuring something happy and incoherent when Erik touches his shoulder.


Erik hesitates. He wants to leave, if only to scout of the building and make sure, make completely and utterly sure that no one here will hurt them, but he doesn't want to wake Charles. He doesn't want to do anything to disturb this moment, with the golden morning light slicing through the curtains and across the bed and his - his lover, his Submissive, his- lying warm and supine and- this isn't a moment he belongs in, and Erik is certain if he touches anything, it'll break.


But leaving Charles here alone turns his stomach.


In the end it's the bed that solves his dilemma, skimming off the top layer of metal and fashioning it into a bracelet around Charles' wrist. He can feel it, control it, use it to defend and protect. If he concentrates he can feel the warmth of Charles' body through it, the beat of his pulse.


Just in case, he locks the door when he leaves. If Charles wakes up he'll unlock it, but as it is nothing short of a hacksaw will open it. Leaving Charles makes his back knot with tension and his hands jump, he clenches them into fists, running his mind back into the bedroom and over the bracelet, touching the sleeping presence in his mind. Safe. It takes an immense force of will to step away from the door.


The corridor the door opens to is bare and empty, but there are sounds coming from a half-open door at the end. Another glance up and down the passage, and he follows the sounds, his mind sinks into the rooms as he passes, but everything seems peaceful and empty. Bed, chair, table, bathroom. No knives or guns. Quiet. Safe.


The door opens to a sunny kitchen, and Erik recognises Charles' sister Raven at the table. She looks up and sees him and gives him a brilliant smile. It's a little disconcerting, Erik's not used to anyone being this happy to see him. He hesitates.


"Are you going to come in?"


No reason not to, and if she's the only one here there's nothing to be afraid of. There's even coffee. He walks in- still cautious, if only from the strangeness of the situation- and sits down opposite the woman. She's blond, smiling and beautiful, but Erik thinks that even if Charles hadn't shown him her true face, he would have known. There's something about her that looks like a mask.


She must have seen something in his expression, because she glances at the door, then her skin ripples, and the blue scaled woman from Charles' mind is sitting there instead, her teeth shocking white against her skin. "You want some tea? Coffee?"


"Coffee please." He manages, and she gets up, all boneless grace, to makes some.


"Is Charles still in bed?" Hearing Charles' name from her is strange, and the feeling of possessiveness it engenders is so strong it shocks Erik.


He rubs the side of his face. Control. It's shot to pieces and everything feels exposed and vulnerable. It shouldn't feel this good. "Yes, he is."


Raven smiles, and hands him a steaming mug of coffee before sitting in front of him. "Is he- okay?" A little hesitant, which calms the possessive rush. Mine. Mine not yours mine. He sips the coffee to calm down.


"Yes." He's not sure what else to say. Their connection is warm and content and there, and Erik could cry for just how good it feels. "He's very happy." His breath catches on the last, and he stares at the mug.


"I knew he must be." A pause, when Erik looks up, she's still smiling, although a little sadly now. "I kept telling him to look for you," it comes out in a rush, "That he could have- I don't know, he's a telepath-"


"He couldn't have found me." In his mind, Charles stirs, as though disturbed in his dreams by even the mention of this time before.


"Yeah." Another pause, as they both sip their drinks, the coffee's very good. Nothing but the best for government employees. "We didn't even know your name." It's a question as well as a statement.


"Erik. Erik Lehnsherr. Charles told me about you."


Raven nods, "And you've got-" She touches the side of her head, "It's there?"


If it isn't, then Charles has put together a facsimile so perfect Erik's can't tell the difference. Different to how Charles' telepathy felt, this reaches from deep within, out. Like having a warm fire inside your mind, a safe place no one can go but you and he.



And Shaw. Never forget. Nowhere is safe.


Erik shakes the thought off and nods. Charles stirs again, waking, Erik projects comfort and safety to him and feels a wave of it returned. He smiles, genuinely. Raven grins.


"And you? Do you have a-" He's not sure, Charles hadn't shared that information.


Raven's smile turns rather more wistful. "Sub. No, not yet. It was never the right time, and there was Charles..." She trails off, Erik can feel the gap in the conversation like a pit. "Maybe now, or soon." A silence, more comfortable. Raven brightens. "So, you're going to be looking after my brother from now on, and I should tell you a few things-"



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They're gossiping about him, and Charles can't bring himself to care. He grins into his pillow, thankful that the two people he loves more than anything are getting along. He can feel Erik's amusement, momentarily distracted. A caress in his mind, light as a feather, and Charles sits up, rubbing at his eyes.


Around his wrist is a plain black bracelet, iron, warmer than skin and trembling to the touch. Wanted to keep you safe, know you were here and unhurt. It's a little self conscious, with an undertone of foolish can feel him well enough and the bracelet splits in half, falling from Charles' wrist.


He holds the two pieces, glad that Erik is convinced of no immediate threat, but - it had felt good, a gentle grip like Erik was holding his wrist. Reassurance that he belonged, he was wanted.



You are. You are mine. Now come, we're waiting.


He doesn't have any fresh clothes, and his old ones are stiff with salt and dirt, and torn here and there. He hesitates, walking out naked is not an option with Raven there - unless Erik orders him to, and even then Charles would really, really rather not. She'd find it hilarious.



All the more reason. He can feel Erik's smile in his mind, all teeth. Here, Charles looks at Erik's opened bag of clothing. Get dressed.


He can hear Raven's voice from the kitchen when he approaches, "-and you really have to make sure he wears socks to bed, otherwise he'll get cold and wake up and be grouchy all morning-"


It's off that even this embarrassment doesn't spoil the good feeling. It's a completely unnecessary piece of information anyway, Erik's incredibly warm and Charles spent most of the night wrapped up against him.


Still, when he walks in, Charles can't shake the feeling that he must look ridiculous. The trousers fit, if a bit long in the leg, but the shirt's far too big and he can't find any shoes. Erik and Raven both look at him when he walks in, tousled from sleep and absurdly dressed and - he feels Raven's shocked amusement and realises - with an intricate network of bitemarks along his neck. Erik is smiling, and reaches up to touch his face. "Sit."


Sit where? There are only two chairs. Erik pushes gently down on Charles' shoulder. "Sit." More forcefully. Charles feels his knees buckle, and he obeys and sits down at Erik feet.


He can feel Raven trying not to giggle, but the embarrassment just melts under the force of how right this feels. He relaxes from his stiff posture and leans against Erik's leg, feeling those long fingers start burying themselves in his hair. One hand trails down the side of his face and Charles nuzzles the palm. This, everything, is nothing less than perfect. He's where he belongs at last.


"Have you still got that?" Erik's voice breaks through his thoughts. For a moment Charles is puzzled as to what he's talking about, then the fragments of the bracelet grow warm in his hand and drift up , pulling his arm with them. He lets go, and watches with no small fascination as the two pieces circle above Erik's hand.


"I liked it." Charles rests his head on Erik's leg.


The two pieces meld into one again, but Erik is looking at him. "Would you like it back?" His voice is so soft it's almost a whisper, husky and deep, with a note of something Charles hadn't heard there before, deep and managing to be both commanding and vulnerable. "Or would you prefer something - more fitting?" The fingers of his free hand rest on Charles' throat against his pulse, just below one of the more prominent bruises.


It's- there are words for this. Words every child knows and expects to speak or to hear at some point in their lives, but right now Charles can't remember any of them in the shock. Tears prick the corners of his eyes as it sinks in what is being offered, he closes his eyes and they slip free. Erik continues to gently stroke over his bare throat, vulnerable, naked, for all his life a badge for all to see that he was alone. And Erik was offering... and end to that. Something Charles had wanted his entire life, and for most of it believed it gone forever.


He tips his head back, letting Erik trace out the veins and arteries and tendons, over the ridges of his trachea to the hollow above his collarbones, struggling to find the right words for acceptance. They don't come. It's almost funny, he's spent so long trying not to think of them that he's finally forgotten them.


"Do you want this?" Erik's leaning down until he's almost whispering in Charles' ear. It makes him shiver and project yesyesyesyesyesyforeveryes. "Say it."


"Yes." It's more breathed than spoken. "Please yes. I will- I'm yours. Always. Forever. I'll love you and obey you and- be yours. Forever. I'll never leave or -go- or-" he swallows, "I'll always be here. I might not always be-" he tries to look down, but Erik doesn't let him, tipping his head up and rubbing circles in the soft skin under his jaw. "Ideal," he finishes lamely, "but I'll always try and be- deserving."


They're not the right words. But then again, looking at Erik and seeing the deep and reverent look in his eyes, in his mind, the love and affection and - everything - well, maybe they were the right words, and Charles closes his eyes as Erik brings the metal against his neck. He can feel it stretch and change where it touches his skin, spreading and following Erik's hand around to the back of his neck, where both ends meet and meld together until there's no join at all, just one smooth unbroken piece.


Erik takes his hands away and the weight settles, comforting, no edges, just round metal, still warm and vibrating from Erik's touch. Impossible to remove. Unless Erik decides otherwise, Charles will wear it until he dies. The mark of being owned and loved. Charles blinks, brings his hands up to touch the collar. Erik cups his face, leaning so far out of his chair he's almost joined Charles on the floor.


Charles is vaguely aware of Raven in the background, watching them, her thoughts are almost painfully sharp, joy and pride and a bit of embarrassment at having been present for such a private moment. Then she fades out as Erik pulls him in and their lips meet, light and almost chaste. You are perfect. Erik speaks in his mind for the first time, and even that 'voice' is rough with emotion.



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Erik is rather amused when Moira McTaggert finally shows up, being an even later riser than Charles. She stares at them all, eating breakfast at the table. Or at least, Erik and Raven are. Charles is still sitting on the floor eating toast from Erik's hands, taking his time with each mouthful and licking his fingers clean when he's finished before sighing and leaning against Erik's thigh again, one arm wrapped around his leg. Erik turns his head with the collar, and offers a second piece.


Apparently this is too much for McTaggert to deal with before coffee, and she turns her back on them all and goes to fix herself a cup. Amusement breaks through Charles' happily bubbling contentment and he swallows his mouthful before turning to the human agent determinedly spooning half the sugarbowl into her coffee mug. "Good morning Moira."


She gives him a look that clearly says he is speaking for himself here, and doesn't answer. Raven makes a suspiciously giggle-like sound, and finally even Erik can't keep from smiling. Maybe it's just that everything is so very good - is it always going to be like this? This good? - or that he isn't alone now, that he's no lone monster but one of a new breed and there's three of them now. Three to watch each other backs, bound together by familial ties and love so that betrayal can never be an option.


McTaggert leans against the counter, sips her coffee, and sighs. "Mr Lewin is coming around to bring us to his facility, apparently he has this hot-shot young scientist he wants you all to meet." She looks at Erik helplessly. Erik smiles back unrepentantly. "You're not making my job any easier, you know?" She waves the mug at them, Erik frowns, but Charles soothes any irritation. She's just not a morning person, leave her. More toast?


"Spoilt." He strokes Charles' neck, thumb running approvingly along the dark metal of the collar.


"Between the two of us, how can you be surprised?" Raven mutters, stealing another piece of bread. She's human again, Erik notes, he frowns again.



It would be a bit too much even for Moira, at this time of the morning.



We shouldn't have to hide who we are. His powers are no aberration, they're part of who he is. Erik is not used to hiding who he is, and he refuses to start now.


Mr Lewin doesn't react much when he picks them up- after they've found Charles some clothes that fit- instead staring at Erik with the interest of an insect enthusiast finding a new species. It makes Erik's skin crawl, with the addition of scientific fascination and without Lewin's friendly demeanour, Shaw had looked like him in much the same way. The same look is turned on Raven, and Charles. Raven looks out of the window rather than meet his gaze, and Charles smiles back, ever friendly.


The man talks non-stop with McTaggert on the way to the facility, occasionally bellowing a question over his shoulder at them. Erik doesn't pay much attention, more interested in cataloguing the metal of the car and preparing enough rage and fear- fear predominates- to tear it to pieces if things go wrong.


Charles nuzzles his mind gently, It's okay, he's not planning to hurt us.



Maybe not him, but others -


"It's his facility." Charles points out. Just try, for one day.


Lewin stares at them, almost driving off the road. "Were you just-"


"Yes." Erik says flatly.


The man doesn't get the hint. "Wow, I mean, me and the old lady can get a few, you know, feelings through, but you were talking! Properly talking! Wow, I can't wait for Hank to meet you."


They pull up then, and Mr Lewin all but bounces out of the car, leaving them to follow. The facility is red stone and glass, and even from here Erik can hear the girders hum, welcoming. It's reassuring.


"Welcome to my facility." Lewin is all but rubbing his hands together in eagerness. "My mission has been to investigate the application of paranormal powers in military defence. This guy, Shaw, Schmitt, whatever you want to call him, he's working with the Russians. We might need your help to stop him."


"No." Erik shakes his head, stopping dead. "No, that you're not having."


"Erik-" Charles starts.


"No." It's a statement of fact, as though if Erik is convinced enough, he can dictate the universe. "He is not going anywhere near Shaw."


"Hey hey okay. I'm not giving any orders." Lewin holds both hands up, appeasing. "We'd just appreciate your help, that's all. This man Shaw is everyone's enemy here."



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"You do not question me." Erik runs a hand over Charles' shoulder. "Not on this."


There's something in his tone that just makes Charles want to bow his head and give Erik this, but not now. It's hard to look him in the eye and shake his head. "We need them."


"Not on this." It's not the command but rather the raw edge to Erik's voice that makes Charles look away. "There is nothing worth risking you for."


Charles closes his eyes and exhales slowly, Erik's hand runs up his neck, over the collar and buries in his hair, turning his head to kiss him. "I protect you, but you have to obey me." He whispers against Charles' lips.


It's hard to argue, it's like swimming upstream, more tiring than it should be. Erik's lips are soft and warm, his tongue pushing past Charles' teeth, he tastes sweet, slick and hot. Charles closes his eyes, everything narrowing to the two of them, touch, taste, the sound of their roughened breathing, the wordless buzz of each other's minds.


"You have to obey me." Erik repeats.


"God, what is it with insecure Subs!" Raven's voice makes them both start. She storms around the corner, furious and shockingly blue. She sees the two of them, and Charles' horrified expression and glares. "If you start as well-" She warns, and Hank McCoy follows her around the corner, carrying a syringe and looking contrite.


"Look, I didn't mean like that-" He pauses, and notices Charles and Erik before flushing scarlet. Charles can't blame him, the first time they met, Charles, in his enthusiasm, revealed he was a mutant to everyone. Hank looks away and makes a visible attempt to gather his thoughts before pointedly ignoring the two of them and turning to Raven. "Look, what if you meet yours and they don't want anything to do with you?"


"Then, as a Dominant, I train them." Raven crosses her arms.


"Raven, anyone might see-" Charles starts.


"Be quiet." Erik taps the back of his head.


"Thank you." Raven nods.


"Then please, I'm not asking you to take it." Hank is still holding out the syringe. "But I'm not and if she doesn't want me like this-"


"Then she's a sorry excuse for a Dominant, isn't she?" Raven snaps.


"And if she is? What choice do I have? Or any of us?"


Raven shakes her head, scowling, then thrusts out her arm. "Then take the blood. But don't ask me to join in. I'm so sick of hiding! I'm not going to do it for the rest of my life."


Neither of them say anything, and Hank, takes the blood and leaves, shamefaced. Charles glances worriedly at the door, but every time tries to say anything, the collar tightens a little. No.


It seems like everything he says here is wrong. Maybe keeping his mouth shut is the best option. Raven looks at them, sighs, and ripples back to her human form. Charles relaxes a little. Erik's mind flickers disappointment. "If I looked like you, I wouldn't hide."



Oh, please don't encourage her.


"Be quiet."


Raven smiles, blue again. "Thanks, I guess. It's not that easy though."


"It ought to be."


Raven looks at Charles, "You can let him talk."


The collar loosens; Charles runs a finger along its rim. "I only want you safe, you know that."


"Yeah, but that's not your job, is it?"


He looks at Erik, hoping for an ally, but he just crosses his arms and looks at Charles. "You said it yourself; it's not safe for us."


"And there's no reason to make it any harder than it already is." Erik states.


Charles looks away. Both Raven and Erik are looking at him. He can feel the disapproval like a weight in his mind, that he's disappointed Erik, it presses him down.


He shakes his head, "I'm sorry." To Raven.


"Hey," She smiles and steps towards him, then hesitating for moment. Erik nods, and she closes the gap and puts an arm around his shoulders. "It's okay, little brother."


Charles snorts; he's three years older than her. But since- Since, he's always been her younger brother. Clearly, finding Erik won't change that.


Erik puts an arm around Charles from the other side, and Charles leans in, tucking his head under Erik's chin. Raven smiles, and pats his shoulder. "I'll see you two later."



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The sun has set when they go into the rooms that's been set aside for them; plain white walls, large pine bed, a desk and chair, wardrobe. And it occurs to Erik that it's been twenty-four hours since the submarine, and he still hasn't woken up yet. The thought makes Charles laugh, and drags a chuckle from Erik's throat. So short a time and already it feels natural to hold Charles in his arms.


Charles sends him a picture of a whole shape, then broken in two, and finally put back together so that no one can see the break ever existed.


They kiss, and perhaps one day it'll stop feeling like someone's poured champagne in Erik's head, but he doubts it. His fingers slip on Charles' buttons. Less layers. Or use zips.


Charles laughs again, and tugs at Erik's turtleneck until he breaks the embrace and pulls it off. I'll keep that in mind, he only bothers to undo two buttons of his shirt before pulling it over his head and tackling Erik, rolling both of them on the bed and fastening his mouth to the hollow under Erik's left collarbone.



Mine? It's a little tentative. Is that how this works?


It works however the hell they want it to work. Erik is fairly certain that the classes Charles didn't go to wouldn't have covered situations like theirs. Yours. Always. He always had been really.


Charles hums before breaking off and rolling onto his back and starts undoing his trousers. Erik knocks his hands away and does it himself. Charles looks up at his, grinning to show all his teeth, eyes shining. Erik smiles back and decides to start just under Charles' ribcage, pressing his lips to the soft skin there before starting to work his way down. Charles squirms and Erik remembers he hasn't shaved today, rubbing his stubbled cheek against Charles' stomach. Charles laughs again. It's light and bright and liquid, and turns into a groan when Erik sooths the skin with his tongue.


"Aren't I supposed to be doing this?" Followed by another groan when Erik nips at his navel to shut him up.



And who is dictating these supposed rules? I am not. Who else are you obeying?


"No one, just you." Charles' pleasure is like warm water, filling them both up. Every part of him is tender, all soft edges and vulnerability. Erik catches a flash of uncertainty over the slightly rounded tummy, the lack of muscles in comparison to Erik's own body. Shy appreciation.


"If you looked like me," Erik pauses to whisper against his skin. "I would have failed you completely." He'd made his body to hunt, and now to protect. Just a tool.


"Beautiful." Charles gasps out as Erik starts pulling down his trousers, licking, kissing and nuzzling the exposed skin.



Unnecessary, but thank you. Charles' cock is pressed up against his stomach, and his licks the underside gently until Charles' fingers are digging into the sheet and he's gasping something incoherent. Erik's own cock is hard and aching, he should have taken his trousers off, but ignores it. This is more important. Another lick, sucking at the base, before going back and swallow him completely.



If you want - anything- oh please- anything more that- you'd better stop- I really can't-


Erik hums in response, remembering how good it had felt yesterday, closing his eyes against the torrent of sensation pouring into his mind. Charles' hands jerk up to touch him, and he pins them back down. Don't move. This is for you.



And- if- ohpleasepleasepleaseplease- I need- what about you-



Shh. The thought's unnecessary, Charles' gone beyond broadcasting anything but blind want. He throws his head back and his back arches, his cock hits the back of Erik's throat and he gags, letting go and backing off. Charles keens at the loss.


"I said don't move." His throat hurts, he swallows.


Erik moves up the bed, takes hold of Charles' wrists and brings them to his neck. It's almost impossible to focus enough to move the metal- everything's so heat and lust and wonderful that it's impossible to find anything to be angry or fearful about, Erik has to bite his lip to gather enough focus to make the metal loop around Charles' wrists and pin them against the bedposts.



Better. He pushes Charles' hips back against the bed and carries on where he left off. It doesn't take long before Charles finally jerks forward and shouts something out loud and in their minds, along with a blast of such intense pleasure that Erik almost comes then and there, untouched.


He wipes his mouth from the unpleasantly bitter taste and collapses beside Charles. Pulling at his trousers to get them off, Charles still broadcasting the aftershocks so loudly it's only when Erik's hand brushes his iron-hard cock at he can be sure he hasn't come already.


"Let me." The next moment he's half sprawled over by a very happy, very warm and very sleepy Charles Xavier, one hand already cupping his erection. Erik closes his eyes, shutting out everything but the sensations and the waves of contentment pouring off Charles. It doesn't take long and he comes with a gasp in Charles' hand.


They don't move, Charles only shifting up a few inches to share a kiss before collapsing again, head on Erik's chest. Erik strokes his hair, looking up at him from suddenly very heavy eyelids. It's been a long day. A long, rough, absolutely wonderful day.



We're staying then? Even Charles' thoughts sound half-asleep.


Erik hums, and lets his eyes drift closed. They would stay, and do it all over again tomorrow.



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Charles has the suspicion this is going to become a reoccurring theme. Erik is glaring at Mr Lewin, who is looking as though he would like to crawl under the desk. Charles has never seen Erik look like that, and it could probably strip paint.


"You have an untested, untried installation, which you wish to use to find other mutants, even though they may not want to be found by you, and you want Charles to run it." It's said is a very steady voice but Charles can feel the anger vibrating just below the surface, anger than at a thought can be turned to flow through metal and attack.


Mr Lewin lifts both his hands, "It's completely safe, we've tested it."


"With humans, never with mutants, or a telepath."


"Erik, please." Charles looks up at him, a little pleading, "I want to do this."


Erik flicks this off like an annoying fly. "No." Forbidden. No.


Charles rubs his face, the urge to give in again warring with his very real desire to do this, to find more of their kind, more mutants. "I am an adult, I can do this."


Erik completely ignores him, still staring at Lewin. "The answer is no." He turns to leave.


Charles gets up, the action is almost automatic. "I'll talk to him." He offers to Lewin, and follows Erik out.


He has to almost jog to keep up with Erik's long strides. "Erik, this is important. I need to do this-"


"For what?" Erik stops and turns, Charles almost runs into him. "What do you owe them that you need risk your life for?"


"It's not for them!" He would have thought Erik understood, he had seen Charles' mind and saw it every day. He's beginning to understand why Raven got so annoyed at him sometimes. Seeing is no understanding. "It's- Erik, this was my life. For the longest time. This. Studying mutation, genetics. It was all I had, really. I can't just- let it go."


Erik is silent, Charles can feel the anger drain from him, and he closes the gap with a hand on the joint between Charles' shoulder and neck. "And that is worth risking your life for? Now?"


"I wouldn't be risking my life. Hank will be there and it's his machine, if something went wrong-"


"-If." Erik is still looking at him in that strange way, head slightly cocked, thoughtful. maybe slightly sad. "Charles, what would you do if I died?"


The answer tied a knot in Charles' throat and he can't speak, can't even breath. It's as though a great pit has opened inside him and if he moves he'll fall in, Charles shakes it off and pushes into Erik's mind to escape it. Arms come up around him and he's held against a strong chest and a heartbeat that has already become so familiar.


"That. That is what I feel every day. When you so cheerfully risk your life in trusting those who should not be trusted, of for spurious reasons like this."


"Not spurious." Charles shakes his head. he tries to project the feeling of what this could mean, of how good it could be. "It's important, what we could do with this-"


"Will you ever stop and simply do as I say?" The last is spoken both out loud and in Charles' mind, it makes his knees buckle. "You are mine, I love you and you insist on running these risks and fighting me when I try and protect you."


"I'm sorry." He closes his eyes. "Bad habits, I guess." Too long alone.


"Yes." A flash of almost amusement. A sigh. "And if I were to let you do this, if it does mean so much to you," Charles looks up, surprised, smiles. "On conditions. Firstly, I will be there," Charles is already nodding, "And here." He touches Charles' temple. "And if there is any pain, McCoy will be rebuilding from scratch."


"I'll make sure to warn him." Charles smiles. Thank you.



Not yet. "Secondly. If a new species is being discovered, should be by its own kind. We do this, none of their people. No suits."


"That shouldn't be a problem, Lewin is desperate to get that machine working, he'll agree."


Erik nods, "And finally, you stop questioning my orders. If we are in danger I have to know you will obey me and not argue that you know better. Even if you think you might. Question me later, when we're safe. But when we're here, in this place, with these people, you do as I say. You are mine. My Submissive. Stop fighting me." He touches two fingers to Charles' collar, they press in like it was ribbon.


Charles closes his eyes and lets Erik hold him, leaning against him, supported and safe. It will not be easy breaking twenty years of habit, of having to push forward no matter how unnatural it felt. To stop, relax, and trust, really finally trust, that he's with someone who knows him inside out, and who will keep him safe. "Yes. Thank you."


"Good." Erik kisses his hair.



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The installation, which McCoy calls Cerebro, is better finished than Erik had feared. By what he'd heard he'd expected it to still be an experimental mess, with wires everywhere and half-finished computers cobbled together from who-knows-what. Instead it's neat and clear, with up to date technology and the only loose wires on the headpiece. Erik eyes it untrustingly.



It will be fine. Charles smiles at him as McCoy is explaining everything. McCoy is making a clear effort not to look at Raven, the fourth member of their little group. She'd made it clear when she'd heard that Charles was not doing this without her there. Erik is not sure what good her presence could be, but he's grateful to her anyway. If something does go wrong she can restrain McCoy while Erik destroys the machines.



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Charles is leaning on the hand rail, looking up at the headpiece, then down at Raven. "Do you want me to look for her?" He asks softly. "If this has the range Hank says, there's a good chance I could find her. I already know what she feels like from- um, from your mind."


Raven shakes her head. "I knew you'd do that." She hesitates, frowning then closing her eyes, Charles can feel her mind reaching out, beyond the walls of Cerebro, to the other mind she cannot ever lose. Sometimes Charles thinks this is the truest kind of telepathy, of which his is just a pale reflection. She opens her eyes again, and shakes her head. "It's not- she doesn't want it."


Charles frowns, "Why not?" Hurt on Raven's behalf. Raven is smart and funny and sweet and caring, even if she does turn blue sometimes, and even then surely her Submissive wouldn't care.


She smiles at him, "Not that it's just- not the right time, I think. that's what it felt like. That she's here and happy and desperate to see me but just not- yet." She finishes lamely.


Her Submissive could certain teach Erik a few things about questioning orders. He smiles back anyway. "But soon?"


"I think so, yeah." Raven shrugs. "Thanks though."


The headpiece, when he puts it on, isn't too bad, just resting around his head rather than on it. It's odd, he can hear the electricity crackle even with it turned off. He can also feel Erik's dismay at this, and how close he is to calling it all off.



Don't spoil this for me.


I've been a lab rat, I know one when I see one
. There's that jagged edge of the past, and Charles turns his mind away from it. Erik leans on the handrail, and touches Charles' hand. In. Now.


The best way Charles could describe it would be as if he picked up Erik, and put him inside him somehow, somewhere inside his ribcage, against his heart. And the bond multiplies it until they're one inside the other like some kind of mobius strip Russian doll. Charles opens his eyes and Erik is smiling at him, eyes like endlessly reflecting mirrors.


"Okay then," Hank checks the helmet, then looks at Erik, "Are you sure we can't shave his head?"



No.


Erik just looks at him and Hank backs away quickly. Charles smiles, and takes a deep breath, calm. He's far more excited than scared. There's an apparently endless moment as Hank sets up the computers and Charles can hear the crackles in the wires getting louder.



It's okay, he thinks for Erik's benefit, Everything is good, everything is good-



Please say something else. That jagged edge again, the spike of how much Erik does not want to be doing this. This is insanity, almost any number of things could go wrong and he is not going to lose Charles to some sick experiment like-


The world opens up, and pours into Charles' head, and Erik is drowned out in noise. Everything is bright and dazzling and there's people everywhere. More people than Charles could have imagined. He'd known there were about 3 billion people on the planet, but numbers were one thing. The noise. It's more deafening than walking in New York with all his shields down, but more exhilarating too.


Somewhere in the middle distance he can feel Erik reeling, but the images keep coming so he must not have tried to stop it. He opens his eyes and it's like double imposed images, in one he's looking at Raven and Erik, both worried, Erik's hand to the side of his head, and in the other-


- There's people. Not simply humans but his people. They stand out as though everyone else were two dimensional, all but jumping out to be found. Children, almost all of them, younger than Raven or Hank. Somewhere he hears Hank say something, but it doesn't register and he's laughing, flying through one mind after the other until-


-until it stops. The world shrinks down and Charles staggers almost off the little platform until Erik steadies him. Charles throws his arms around Erik and hugs him. Thank you. His mental voice is several times louder than normal. He can't stop grinning, light-headed from the rush. Behind him he hears Hank tear something off, "Wow, you got a lot. Lewin's going to be happy. We'll just have to send a team to pick them up-"


"We'll do it." Erik interrupts. It's hard to read much behind his overwhelming relief that Charles is okay, but there's that iron hard indignant stubbornness that this is them, something humans should not be involved it. Erik is not going to drag anyone into this who isn't willing.


Hank isn't about to fight with Erik, Charles had warned him about the possibility of having the installation destroyed and he isn't about to push his luck. "Okay, um, is he okay?"


"He's fine." That's Raven. Charles purrs as Erik rubs his back. He's projecting happiness everywhere. "Just get him some tea and he'll calm down."


Charles rubs his head under Erik's chin. This is my new favourite place. He informs him.



That's good. Erik manhandles Charles down the stairs. We'll get some tea and be off, yes?


Yes
. Wonderful, all those people he found and now he's going to be able to really meet them.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-08-22 08:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gleeful-reader.livejournal.com
This is still absolutely beautiful and almost intoxicating. I can't believe how in character they are! I am full of ~feelings~ about these stories, and I just wanted you to know that.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-08-22 09:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mancrave.livejournal.com
I'm pretty new to this fandom, as in I've been exploring for about a week now, and so far Charles/Erik has been my pairing of choice. I think I came across this story on a community for the two of them and I got to say, it is amazing. I am so in love with the idea of this universe and I'm really enjoying how this story is developing seemingly along XMFC lines - I'll be really interested to see if/how you change the story to accommodate their bond (and I'm really hoping its a how kind of situation cause I don't think my heart could take it if this story ends anywhere close to how the film did, not with the extra bond they share as a D/s couple!) Hope you don't mind if I add you to my flist so I can follow better? Really looking forward to more *g*

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