Mutant Memes Redux

[skull_bearer]

OkCupid Dating Test

How do you feel about sex without love?
<input ... >excellent
<input ... >good
<input ... >not so good
<input ... >unacceptable
Erik: I'm aware it's old-fashioned, but no.
Skull Bearer: You were born in 1927, being old-fashioned is a given.

In public, someone winks at you. That is...
<input ... >flattering
<input ... >cheesy
Erik: Worrying.
Charles: You don't know how to react.
Erik: I don't need you to tell me that.

Would you rather die yourself or have 10,000 random people in the world die?
<input ... >me
<input ... >10,000 of them
Erik: mutants or humans?
Charles: It's random, and that was racist.
Erik: *sigh* Alright, I die.

How many people have you kissed, not counting family & friends? Guess if necessary.
1
How many people have you slept with?
1
How many in just the last year?
1
How many times ever have you been in love?
1
Erik: *sheepish smile* Just this in universe, you understand.
Charles: I think it's the only one that matters. *kisses*
Skull Bearer: Awww.

Which to you describes the better relationship?
<input ... >conventional
<input ... >chaotic
Erik: When the world is insane, it's nice to have at least some stability.
Charles: If this is what you call stability...
Erik: The world is mad, even you know that.

Are you absolutely *sure* you know where the clitoris is?
<input ... >yes
<input ... >no
Erik: No, but I do know that this question really doesn't apply. Thank God.
Charles: You don't believe in God.
Erik: Exactly, and you don't either.

Does asking someone out make you nervous?
<input ... >yes
<input ... >no
Erik: Yes, which is humiliating to admit since I've known Charles for sixty years.

Regardless of what's right for you now, would you say you have a good idea of the kind of person you'd like to end up with?
<input ... >yes
<input ... >no
Erik: Yes.
Charles: Yes.
Skull Bearer: You really are a pair of masocists.

Do you believe in the idea of a "one true love"?
<input ... >yes
<input ... >no
Erik: *sheepish grin*
Charles: *sheepish grin*
Skull Bearer: You have to be the wierdest romantic couple I've ever met, and direly need of a psychiatrist brave enough to take you on, but you can be really sweet together *hugs*.

Result: The Slow Dancer. Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The men left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal man is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive. While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships.
ALWAYS AVOID: The False Messiah (DBLM)
CONSIDER: The Gentleman (DGLM) or The Slow Dancer (DGLD)
Skull Bearer: See what I mean?
Erik: This is surprisingly accurate.
Charles: You can be very sweet when you're not ranting.
Erik: *hugs* Your turn now.


How do you feel about sex without love?
<input ... >excellent
<input ... >good
<input ... >not so good
<input ... >unacceptable
Charles: I'm not so old-fashioned, but it's really not for me.
Erik: *smug grin*

You're in a serious, loving relationship, and your mate asks for a threesome. You are more...
<input ... >offended
<input ... >relieved
Charles: Thunderstruck. I could never have imagined that, and I'm supposed to be a telepath.
Erik: You are, I would never ask that.

Would you rather die yourself or have 10 random people in the world die?
<input ... >me
<input ... >10 of them
Erik: What about if it was me or 10 people?
Charles: You know the answer to that.
Erik: I know, tell me anyway.
Charles: I'd pick you if it was 10,000, happy now?
Skull Bearer: You really bring out the worst in each other.

How many people have you kissed, not counting family & friends? Guess if necessary.
2
How many people have you slept with?
1
How many in just the last year?
1
How many times ever have you been in love?
1
Erik: Who else have you kissed?
Charles: Don't worry, it was before I met you, a scottish girl I met while visiting England.
Erik: What happened to her?
Charles: I tried to impress her by going with my stepfather to rescue his sister from the Nazis.
Erik: ... Oh.
Charles: Not one of my best ideas.
Erik: ... no.

Are you still on good terms with most of your exes?
<input ... >yes
<input ... >no
Charles: As I've never seen her since, I have no idea.

Which to you describes the better relationship?
<input ... >conventional
<input ... >chaotic
Charles: I would hardly call our relationship conventional, but for the whole it's not really our fault.

Result: Exactly the same as Erik.
Skull Bearer: I won't lie and say that wasn't cute, but I'm amazed two people who are so similar can argue so much.


How gay or straight are you?

6.	Has anyone every accused you of being a homophobe? <input ... >Yes, often, gays make me uncomfortable <input ... >No, never, I'm secure in my sexual identity <input ... >Why would they? I'm as queer as can be! <input ... >Once or twice...

Erik: Always had other things to worry about, a bit of a waste of time.
Skull Bearer: Plus, you're... gay yourself.
Erik: That too.

11.	Out of these, which is your favorite? <input ... >Vaginal sex <input ... >Oral sex <input ... >Anal sex <input ... >Other

Erik: *blushes and hides*
Skull Bearer: It's rather strange that someone who has been through as much as he has can still be mortified by questions like this.

Result: 4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual. You're in the grey. You're probably someone who's pretty much bisexual, but tends to prefer the same sex. There's also the chance that you're bisexual, but tend to want to hide your swinger side due to the lower level of acceptance by hardcore gays. Its true, gay people can be just as unaccepting of bisexuals as straight people, sucks but, hey, you are who you are. Be proud! 
Erik: I never thought of it like that, but I suppose it's fair enough.


The Alingment Test

Morals...
<input ... >are sometimes necessary.
<input ... >are always necessary.
<input ... >are amost never necessary.
Erik: Are always necessary, but it matter what kind of morals they are.
Charles: I should be arguing here, and while ideally you should use the same morals all the time, real life is another story.

Being "kind" is...
<input ... >a weakness.
<input ... >a useful tool.
<input ... >what I love practicing.
Erik: Wasted on most people.

You stand to testify in against your (guilty) close friend. Your feelings/actions are...
<input ... >It doesn't matter; I will not testify, or I will testify inaccurately - they can't prove anything anyways.
<input ... >I will bend the truth, even under oath; but some punishment must be dealt to him/her.
<input ... >S/he has commited a crime, and therefore must pay his or her debt to society.
Erik: Say whatever is necessary to get them out.
Charles: If you were the one accused you'd tell the truth.
Erik: That's different, I don't see the point of being ashamed of my actions.
Skull Bearer: This is why I like him, he a walking contradiction even before you consider his powers.

Result: Chaotic Neutral "Pure Chaos" 
Skull Bearer: as I said, walking contradiction.
Erik: It makes sense to me.
Skull Bearer: I'm sure it does...

Charles:
Neutral Good "Benefactor" 
Skull Bearer: Fitting.
Charles:Thank you.
Erik: How do you put up with me?
Charles: Because the world is crazier than you are.

The Real Zombie Survival Test
Erik: Here we go again.
Skull Bearer: You really didn't like being eaten by zombies, did you?
Erik. No. I didn't. Is that surprising?

Last question for this section. In the situation that zombies were to attack your city, what armor would best suit your survival needs?
<input ... >Type 3 Kevlar Armor: Vest, Helmet, Knee and elbow pads
<input ... >Military Grade Type 1 Body Armor: Vest, Helmet, Knee and Elbow pads
<input ... >Full body Kevlar Suit: Covers everything from the neck down.
<input ... >Medieval full iron platemail complete with shield and helmet.
Erik: Technically, the full platemail would probably be the best for me. Armor and weapons at the same time, and weighing only as much as I want it to.
Skull Bearer: I'll put that as option three then.

You have to choose between: 1) A large muscular man who has already killed a decent number of undead for you. 2) Your extremely attractive girlfriend/boyfriend who everybody loves but s/he's not too useful in a firefight. 3) A street smart homeless thief who may not be the best with a weapon but can pick a lot of locks and open things otherwise unopenable. Who do you save?
<input ... >The big man that can fight. Killing zombies is a useful skill these days.
<input ... >My significant other. Granted she doesn't possess too many skills that are of use right now but who wants to live in a world without love?
<input ... >The thief. His ability to open doors, desks, vending machines, etc etc could prove to be all the difference.
<input ... >I don't need any of them. I'm a bad mothah fuckah without them, not wasting my ammo damnit.
Erik: Oh like you need to ask. *sighs* It's not as though we needed any of the others. *kisses Charles*
Charles: That was remarkably... endearing for such a blood-thirsty statement.

Have you ever received any kind of training in field command or operational procedure involving survival/combat?
<input ... >Um... you talk funny Mr. Ex-Airborne Will Olmen man...
<input ... >Perhaps not formal training but I have had practice at drill team and/or band leading.
<input ... >My unit was honored for winning the JROTC Excellence Marathon whilst under my command.
<input ... >My five man team once wiped out an entire regiment of 2,000 Taliban soldiers without a shot fired.
Erik: How relevant is surviving something that was specifically concieved as something you wouldn't survive?
Skull Bearer: More relevent than anything else here *checks option four*

Last question for this section. How do you feel with building a strategy for any kind of combat situation, real or otherwise.
<input ... >I've never even tried.
<input ... >I have played Strategy games and felt fairly comfortable in my decisions.
<input ... >I enjoy paintball and laser tag and have conceived battle-winning strategies in the past.
<input ... >My Special Forces unit was/is organized and disciplined enough under my command that we single handedly cleaned out a large portion of China before they ever knew we were there.
Erik: I've beaten a telepath at chess.
Skull Bearer: That... That says it all.

Last question. If the person you love more than anything in the world turned into an undead cannibal, could you kill them? And be honest with both yourself and the test here.
<input ... >Yes
<input ... >No
Erik: Yes, I would. I would then kill myself.
Charles: I'd appreciate the gesture a good deal more if I didn't know that you'd really do exactly that.

Result: The Survivor. You possess the basic skills and knowledge necessary to keep yourself alive. And you have a pretty good grasp on your self control, strong enough to keep you sane for at least a little while. But your real strength lies in leadership. People will trust you to make the right decisions and more often than not you will. Keep your group intact and find some people to support your weaker traits and you've got a good chance. Estimated Survival Time: 6 Months 
Erik: Since that's about as long as I managed to surive last time, that's pretty accurate.
Skull Bearer: Your turn Charles.

Have you ever received training in martial arts, self defence, or weapon usage of any kind? If the answer is no just skip this question.
Charles:... No?
Erik: Wrong answer.
Charles: I haven't.
Erik: Even worse.

Do you have any knowledge of human physiology and/or medical treatment and application?
<input ... >I once got a paper cut from a band-aid wrapper.
<input ... >I watch E.R., House, and Scrubs religously.
<input ... >I have received some training in first aid and CPR, enough to be moderately capable.
<input ... >I once performed a heart transplant with a broken CD and a pair of plyers.
Charles: I once set two dislocated bones with no medical tools. Or assistance. Or lighting.
Erik: Or anesthetic.

You have to choose between: 1) A large muscular man who has already killed a decent number of undead for you. 2) Your extremely attractive girlfriend/boyfriend who everybody loves but she's not too useful in a firefight. 3) A street smart homeless thief who may not be the best with a weapon but can pick a lot of locks and open things otherwise unopenable. Who do you save?
<input ... >The big man that can fight. Killing zombies is a useful skill these days.
<input ... >My significant other. Granted she doesn't possess too many skills that are of use right now but who wants to live in a world without love?
<input ... >The thief. His ability to open doors, desks, vending machines, etc etc could prove to be all the difference.
<input ... >I don't need any of them. I'm a bad mothah fuckah without them, not wasting my ammo damnit.
Charles: What happens when the three are one and the same?
Skull Bearer: Then you're a very lucky man.
Erik: There's a first.

Do you consider yourself in control?
<input ... >Are you suggesting I'm not?
<input ... >One time this fly was like... buzzing and stuff. And I was all like... shoo fly... and it was all like "fly away!!" ... yeah... taught that fly...
<input ... >My girflriend/boyfriend is tied up to the bed as I'm taking this test.
<input ... >I once said no to a mugger with such conviction he gave me his wallet and shot himself.
Charles: I could in all honesty pick option four. Except I wouldn't make him shoot himself.

Last question. If the person you love more than anything in the world turned into an undead cannibal, could you kill them? And be honest with both yourself and the test here.
<input ... >Yes
<input ... >No
Charles: No, I would keep him unconscious and tied up while I created a cure.
Erik: ...Thank you *is genuinely touched*.

Result: Moral Officer. While you may not be able to survive on your own for very long, your cool headedness and decent leadership talents may attract others who can make up for your shortcomings. Estimated Survival Time: 3 Days 
Erik: Perfectly accurate.
Charles: I agree.

Will your relationship last?
Charles: Good question.
Erik: We'll do this one together.

How does it make you feel to imagine life without your SO?
I would be in such pain without them that I would feel like I could not go on with life without them (although I wouldn't actually kill myself, I would think about it - what can I say? We're Romeo and Juliet in love...)
They greatly enrich my life, so I would feel that I had lost a part of me somehow, but I would eventually recover.
It would bother me, but it wouldn't change the overall feel of my life.
I wouldn't dwell on it.
Erik: Quite frankly, I don't particularly like thinking about it. Considering we're in each other's head far more than is healthy, it wouldn't be pleasant. A nervous breakdown would be the least of my problems.
Charles: For once, we're in total and complete agreement.

If you could change anything about your SO, would you? (BE HONEST!!!)
No way! My love is the most perfect person for me exactly as they are.
Who they are is such wonderfully complex formula that I wouldn't change a thing, even if they don't meet my preconceived conceptions.
There are one or two things that I really have a hard time dealing with, and it would be so much easier if those things could change.
There are a few things that would need to change before I could consider staying with them longer term.
Skull Bearer: This one's a given, I take it?
Charles: Unfortunately.

Do you feel like you can truly be yourself with your SO without any worry?
Of course, but we are so busy being love birds, we don't have time to worry about such things.
I truly feel like I can be myself, but I do hesitate sometimes.
I am mostly myself, but there are certain things I hold back right now, best foot forward, you know.
I would really rather not let them see all parts of who I am.
Charles: If I didn't, life would be much easier.
Erik: Easier, but it wouldn't be the same, would it?
Charles: *smiles*

How well do you feel you know your SO's flaws and faults?
I truly feel like they don't have any....
I have seen them at their very worst - I know them all, and I still want to be with them.
I know a lot of them, but I don't think I know them all.
We aren't comfortable enough with each other to be that connected.
Charles: I can quite honestly say option two.
Erik: Same.

Would you say that you and your SO have each other's backs, that you are a unified front against the rest of the world, that no matter what you can depend on them to be on your side?
We have each other's backs, and fronts, and bottoms, and tops, too!!
Yes, I can honestly say that my SO would stand by me through thick and thin.
I know they would as long as they agreed with me or felt I was in the right.
Well, as long as it isn't too inconvenient�.
Erik: Of all the questions we've done so far, I think I agree with this one the most.

How safe do you feel being brutally honest with your SO, particularly if you know it is something they don't want to hear?
We're honest with each other, but do you have to use the word brutal?
I may have to think about it a bit first, but I truly feel welcome to be brutally honest with them.
I can swing it sometimes, but other times I just can't.
It isn't worth the effort.
Charles: Once again, it would be easier it we weren't.
Erik: And again, it wouldn't be the same either.

You got a nearly perfect score in Love, which means that this relationship is built as solid as a rock. You have the core pilars to stand on - commitment, compromise, and communication - down pat. There isn't anything that can beat you two, as long as you keep working at it. You have likely been together for a while, or the time you have been together has been very intense. Your infatuation score was kind of low, so there may not be a whole lot of lightning and angels singing, but you are mature enough to know those things aren't necessary for an enduring relationship. Don't sweat the lack of magic - you don't need it. It only lasts a short while anyway. What you have is very hard to find - never let it go. 
Skull Bearer: How the blazes did you get THAT?
Erik: This is your version of us, remember?
Skull Bearer: Oh right, yeah.
Erik: Although to be fair, it's not such a far shot from TAS... Or movieverse in a rather tragic fashion.
Charles: I though movieverse didn't exist.
Erik: The way it was before it didn't exist.
Skull Bearer: Amen.

The Post-Apocalyptic Survival Test
Chalres: I'm starting to  see a worrying trend here.
Erik: At least it's not zombies.
Charles: As though nuclear weapons are any better.

Do you have any practical skills that will be useful in a world with no electrical power?
<input ... >Carpentry / Engineering / Metal working / Chef
<input ... >No but I'm a great leader.
<input ... >Not really
Erik: I generate electrical power. I can make metal do whatever I like. I can never get lost...
Skull Bearer: *wishes there was a better box to tick than option one*

A plague has hit your city. The roads are clogged with abandoned vehicals and the corpses of the recently dead. Do you have access to a bicycle?
<input ... >Yes, I own one.
<input ... >I could steal one
<input ... >No, I'll stay in the city to help
<input ... >No, I'll walk / run
Erik: I don't have one, but I can make one. Or a car for that matter, it wouldn't need fuel since I can power it myself. Or I could just fly...
Skull Bearer: Okay, I think we've established that should a disaster strike, you're the person we all need.

Result: You know what you want and how to get it. Live and let die, Kill or be killed: Words to live by according to you. It appears to work for you. You can survive just about anything the new world can throw at you. Killing anything that gets in your way. Congratulations.


The Assassination Skills Test
Erik: You are going to do that one too Charles.
Charles: *sigh*

When buying a present for a new friend you would...
<input ... >Ask them directly what they want
<input ... >Steal their police file to get an idea of their personality
<input ... >Ask mutual aquaintances subtle questions about them
<input ... >Get a box of chocolates and hope they like it
Erik: Ask Charles what they want.
Skull Bearer: That's option two, I think.

Result: The Soldier. You lack some of the caution needed to be an assasin, but that same bravado would put you in good stead working in the hectic atmosphere of a battle. You have the skills and mindset to go far. 
Erik: Very fitting. Your go Charles.
Charles: Is this really necessary?

Whats the least money (or equivelent) that would persuade you kill:
3.	An enemy of yours <input ... >Never <input ... >For free <input ... >Under $1000 <input ... >Over $1000

Charles: How hated an enemy are we talking about here?
Skull Bearer: Unrepentant ex-Nazi.
Charles: Did you know the human brain has an off switch?
Skull Bearer: You worry me sometimes.

You buy a new vehicle, for maintaining it you:
<input ... >Research the workings and buy repair equipment, even though it would be expensive initially.
<input ... >Take it to the manufacturer for its regular services.
<input ... >Drive it till it sounds like somethings wrong then get it fixed
<input ... >Get it serviced by someone whos used to similar vehicles, for the half the cost
Charles: Ask Erik to do it?
Skull Bearer: *checks option one*

Result: The Pacifist. You think a lot about the implications of your actions and don't like violence. Being an assassin probably never really appealed. 
Charles: Thank you.
Skull Bearer: An assassin with your talents would really be something, if they didn't have a conscience, that is.