Game of Thrones Series
Jun. 22nd, 2011 01:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
skull_bearerStarks:
Dear Ned: Please be less Sean Bean kthnx. I get why they wanted a big name star for this series, but Ned Stark is not Boromir and it's weird to see him as such.
B- Needs to try harder.
Dear Catelyn: Couldn't have been moar Catelyn if you tried. You're not my favourite character, but I don't hate you either and it's great to see you well cast.
A*
Dear Robb: Took a while, and it was sometimes hard to tell you apart from Jon and Theon when you were in the same room, but by the end you were great. You're more of a character than you were in the books, as in the books you weren't POV, and in the series everything is omniscient POV, so you were more important.
A
Dear Jon: Never liked you, your actor needs to learn to shut his mouth and stop gaping like a goby, but you were pretty much Jon Snow, for what that means.
A (still don't care).
Dear Sansa: I would have loved you and thought you perfect if it wasn't so obvious you were sixteen. Your behaviour was on par, but lines mean for a twelve year old sound wrong coming from you.
B
Dear Arya: Despite pronoucing your name weirdly, you were perfect, I loved you, and you rocked.
A+
Dear Bran: Yeah, pretty much that. Would have liked better crow dreams, but hey.
A
Dear Rickon: You had about two ounces of screentime, which is what you had in the books. Good showing, for what it's worth.
A
Lannisters
(No Dear) Tywin: You needed to be a bit better built, and a lot more cold and haughty, but otherwise you were you all the way. Looking forward to seeing Tyrion spike you with a crossbow. Loves and kisses Skull Bearer.
A+
Dear Jaime: I gave a muffled squee at your 'there's only me' line. I love you, you're great, and you're really making the most of the omniscient POV.
A*
Dear Cercei: I'm lazy and as you're twins, take the same as above.
A*
Dear Tyrion: I know with Peter Dinkage we were in good hands, and the showing was pure joy to watch. You are a wonder, and your Galdiator-rip off scene made us all burst out laughing. i knew I'd love you to bits, and I did.
A*
Dear Joffery: Everyone did a great job of making us hate your guts, despite giving you a bit more depths. Looking forward to that pigeon pie. You little bastard.
A*
Dear assorted other Lannisters: Yeah, pretty much you. I didn't even need to hear introductions to know that was Lancel, that was Kevan, and (were there any others?), whatever, the house of the lion had a great showing and you should be proud of yourselves, once you've gotten over your impending DOOM.
A* all around.
Baratheon:
Dear Robert: While my ideal Robert would be played by BRIAN BLESSED, you did they best you could with the part you had. I liked your 'enemy mine' scenes with Cercei, which made you slapping her all the more disgraceful. I could see her 'now I really want to kill you' look. It was awesome, and so were you.
A+
Dear Stannis: Stannis! Staaaa-nis! Wherefor art thou Stannis? Sir-not-appearing-in-this-show. We missed you.
Dear Renly: Apparenly subtext is for pussies in the Thrones Game. You were gayer than a pride parade made up of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Who are also sailors. You were gayer than a gay thing and the story just went 'meh, who cares', and made you into a pretty cool character. Rock on. This show needs moar gay cock.
A*
Targaryan:
Dear Dany: You are one of the characters who suffered the most from the omniscient POV. So much of your development is internal that you were very passive through most of this and got the short shrift. I missed you, I thought the casting wasn't quite right, your relationship with Drogo was stomped on, shot and purged with fire and salt, and your climactic moment at the end was cut. Fail all around, and the worst part was it wasn't your fault.
C-
Dear Drogo: *throttles the Khal Drogo character assassination brigade* APPARENTLY WRITING 3D BARBARIANS WAS TOO MUCH FOR YOU WAS IT? TAKE THAT! AND THAT! AND THAT! Dogfuckers.
D
Dear Viserys: The only Targaryan who had a decent showing was the bonkers one. And your crowning was one of the WORST SHOT THINGS EVER.
B (E for crowning scene, everyone laughed, it was so bad)
The Wall (and beyond):
Dear Mormont: Would have liked to see more of your crow, but you were rocking that black right over the Wall, well done sir.
A
Dear Aemon: Would hasve liked to see you frailer and more vulnerable. As was you looked kinda old and blind, but pretty healthy. You're supposed to be over a hundred or something. Acting wise you were great though.
B
Dear Thorne: The entire audience must have wanted to kick your evil little arse halfway to Mordor and who could blame them. You were given a bit more depth again, which was good, but we hate you all the same. Which is all one can ask.
A
Dear Sam: *waves Sam pom-poms* We all love you. We always will. Thank you for fulfilling all expectations like rocking.
A*
Dear Osha: Yeah, you were you. Well casted, well acted, you were very cool indeed. I'm glad you're actress finally got a good role because she is great.
A
Dear other assorted Night's Brothers: Your roles were a bit blended to cut down on Cast of Thousands, but you worked, so hey. Liked you all, you were fun. Looking forward to seeing you all get eaten by White Walkers next season.
A
Minor Houses:
Dear I-will-kick-you-to-pieces-Lord Frey: Again, you weren't decrepid enough. You're supposed to be chair bound and withered, you little dickstick. You were very lord Frey, although not yet obviously evil as you were in the books. Looking forward to having UnCatelyn rip out your guts for fishline in DWD.
B
Dear Lysa: They went with the 'scrawny and hysterial' rather than the 'heavy and shapeless' trend, which worked, and you were perfectly crazy. IC all the way.
A
Dear Robert: Yeah, like your mother, you were batshit enough to pass. Liked your 'I'm hungry'.
A
Dear Varys: I always liked you, and this show made me remember why. Hope you get out of this rat's nest in one piece (as far as it goes), and your banter with Peytr was brilliant. Looking forward to seeing where we go with you.
A+
Dear Peytr: You are an evil sod and now everyone knows why. Hope Sansa drowns you in Robert's porridge. No love.
A*
Dear Pycelle: Same as above, only more so. Looking so forward to the shaving scene.
A*
Dear Gregor: I blame the incredibly shitty cinematography for you. You are huge. They even found you a giant horse to ride, and they shot it so badly Tyrion looked bigger than you. Hope they cut off the director's manhood and feed it to the goats so you can be appropriately pants-wetting next season.
B
Dear Sandor: Yeah. Pretty much again. You were you, although your scar was obscured by your emo hair, so it was sometinmes hard to see who you were.
B
Dear Theon-the-soon-to-be-skinless: Again, apart from the problems I had telling you apart from Rob and Jon in the beginning, you were pretty good. looking forward to seeing Asha wipe the floor with you you little turd.
A
Cast of thousands (everyone else):
Dear Roz the whore: Not sure why you were included other than this series' odd fascination with mixing explanatory dioalogue with sex. Whatever, you was okay.
B
Dear Shae: You looked something like thirty and not quite right. Maybe it'll improve later but you left me cold.
C
Dear Bronn: I challenge you to find anyone who didn't like Bronn. Everyone loved you in the books, everyone loves you now. Rock on you evil sod.
A+
Dear Miraaz Mag Dur (yeah I got that wrong so curse me- AAAAHHHRGR!): Prefection, you were probably the best cast and best acted character. I loved you and watching you die was a delight.
A*
Dear assorted Dothraki: (looks under the table, behind the sofa, in the wardrobe) Where were the rest of you? Unstoppable hoard you were not.
D
Dear Vale of Aryn barbarians: Couldn't get enough of you. You were everything we wanted but your time was sadly cut. Loving you from afar (very afar).
A
Dear Barristan Selmy: *pom-poms come out again* Love you! Now find a real royal, there's a good chap.
A*
Dear Direwolves: You were dogs. Really obviously dogs. Would have prefered CGI wolves. Couldn't take you seriously.
C
Dear everyone else: If I haven't mentioned you you were so good that you blended in perfectly with my expectations. Love you all darlings!
A
Directing, filming, etc:
Dear plot: Could have really used twelve episodes rather than ten, everything felt a bit rushed and the scenes were cut a bit haphazardly, tragedy leading on to humor (and often porn).
B
Dear porn: Occasionally got a bit much sometimes, although enjoyed occasional sights of penis.
B-
Dear special effects: Would actually have liked more of you for wolves, Dothraki hoard, and other such. Hope the future series have a bigger budget.
B
Dear cinematography: You deserve Frey's fate, Tywin's damnation and Theon's torture. Die in a fire. You sucked and nearly broke the series at times. A ruinous mess.
X (too bad to rate)
Dear Ned: Please be less Sean Bean kthnx. I get why they wanted a big name star for this series, but Ned Stark is not Boromir and it's weird to see him as such.
B- Needs to try harder.
Dear Catelyn: Couldn't have been moar Catelyn if you tried. You're not my favourite character, but I don't hate you either and it's great to see you well cast.
A*
Dear Robb: Took a while, and it was sometimes hard to tell you apart from Jon and Theon when you were in the same room, but by the end you were great. You're more of a character than you were in the books, as in the books you weren't POV, and in the series everything is omniscient POV, so you were more important.
A
Dear Jon: Never liked you, your actor needs to learn to shut his mouth and stop gaping like a goby, but you were pretty much Jon Snow, for what that means.
A (still don't care).
Dear Sansa: I would have loved you and thought you perfect if it wasn't so obvious you were sixteen. Your behaviour was on par, but lines mean for a twelve year old sound wrong coming from you.
B
Dear Arya: Despite pronoucing your name weirdly, you were perfect, I loved you, and you rocked.
A+
Dear Bran: Yeah, pretty much that. Would have liked better crow dreams, but hey.
A
Dear Rickon: You had about two ounces of screentime, which is what you had in the books. Good showing, for what it's worth.
A
Lannisters
(No Dear) Tywin: You needed to be a bit better built, and a lot more cold and haughty, but otherwise you were you all the way. Looking forward to seeing Tyrion spike you with a crossbow. Loves and kisses Skull Bearer.
A+
Dear Jaime: I gave a muffled squee at your 'there's only me' line. I love you, you're great, and you're really making the most of the omniscient POV.
A*
Dear Cercei: I'm lazy and as you're twins, take the same as above.
A*
Dear Tyrion: I know with Peter Dinkage we were in good hands, and the showing was pure joy to watch. You are a wonder, and your Galdiator-rip off scene made us all burst out laughing. i knew I'd love you to bits, and I did.
A*
Dear Joffery: Everyone did a great job of making us hate your guts, despite giving you a bit more depths. Looking forward to that pigeon pie. You little bastard.
A*
Dear assorted other Lannisters: Yeah, pretty much you. I didn't even need to hear introductions to know that was Lancel, that was Kevan, and (were there any others?), whatever, the house of the lion had a great showing and you should be proud of yourselves, once you've gotten over your impending DOOM.
A* all around.
Baratheon:
Dear Robert: While my ideal Robert would be played by BRIAN BLESSED, you did they best you could with the part you had. I liked your 'enemy mine' scenes with Cercei, which made you slapping her all the more disgraceful. I could see her 'now I really want to kill you' look. It was awesome, and so were you.
A+
Dear Stannis: Stannis! Staaaa-nis! Wherefor art thou Stannis? Sir-not-appearing-in-this-show. We missed you.
Dear Renly: Apparenly subtext is for pussies in the Thrones Game. You were gayer than a pride parade made up of monkeys on nitrous oxide. Who are also sailors. You were gayer than a gay thing and the story just went 'meh, who cares', and made you into a pretty cool character. Rock on. This show needs moar gay cock.
A*
Targaryan:
Dear Dany: You are one of the characters who suffered the most from the omniscient POV. So much of your development is internal that you were very passive through most of this and got the short shrift. I missed you, I thought the casting wasn't quite right, your relationship with Drogo was stomped on, shot and purged with fire and salt, and your climactic moment at the end was cut. Fail all around, and the worst part was it wasn't your fault.
C-
Dear Drogo: *throttles the Khal Drogo character assassination brigade* APPARENTLY WRITING 3D BARBARIANS WAS TOO MUCH FOR YOU WAS IT? TAKE THAT! AND THAT! AND THAT! Dogfuckers.
D
Dear Viserys: The only Targaryan who had a decent showing was the bonkers one. And your crowning was one of the WORST SHOT THINGS EVER.
B (E for crowning scene, everyone laughed, it was so bad)
The Wall (and beyond):
Dear Mormont: Would have liked to see more of your crow, but you were rocking that black right over the Wall, well done sir.
A
Dear Aemon: Would hasve liked to see you frailer and more vulnerable. As was you looked kinda old and blind, but pretty healthy. You're supposed to be over a hundred or something. Acting wise you were great though.
B
Dear Thorne: The entire audience must have wanted to kick your evil little arse halfway to Mordor and who could blame them. You were given a bit more depth again, which was good, but we hate you all the same. Which is all one can ask.
A
Dear Sam: *waves Sam pom-poms* We all love you. We always will. Thank you for fulfilling all expectations like rocking.
A*
Dear Osha: Yeah, you were you. Well casted, well acted, you were very cool indeed. I'm glad you're actress finally got a good role because she is great.
A
Dear other assorted Night's Brothers: Your roles were a bit blended to cut down on Cast of Thousands, but you worked, so hey. Liked you all, you were fun. Looking forward to seeing you all get eaten by White Walkers next season.
A
Minor Houses:
Dear I-will-kick-you-to-pieces-Lord Frey: Again, you weren't decrepid enough. You're supposed to be chair bound and withered, you little dickstick. You were very lord Frey, although not yet obviously evil as you were in the books. Looking forward to having UnCatelyn rip out your guts for fishline in DWD.
B
Dear Lysa: They went with the 'scrawny and hysterial' rather than the 'heavy and shapeless' trend, which worked, and you were perfectly crazy. IC all the way.
A
Dear Robert: Yeah, like your mother, you were batshit enough to pass. Liked your 'I'm hungry'.
A
Dear Varys: I always liked you, and this show made me remember why. Hope you get out of this rat's nest in one piece (as far as it goes), and your banter with Peytr was brilliant. Looking forward to seeing where we go with you.
A+
Dear Peytr: You are an evil sod and now everyone knows why. Hope Sansa drowns you in Robert's porridge. No love.
A*
Dear Pycelle: Same as above, only more so. Looking so forward to the shaving scene.
A*
Dear Gregor: I blame the incredibly shitty cinematography for you. You are huge. They even found you a giant horse to ride, and they shot it so badly Tyrion looked bigger than you. Hope they cut off the director's manhood and feed it to the goats so you can be appropriately pants-wetting next season.
B
Dear Sandor: Yeah. Pretty much again. You were you, although your scar was obscured by your emo hair, so it was sometinmes hard to see who you were.
B
Dear Theon-the-soon-to-be-skinless: Again, apart from the problems I had telling you apart from Rob and Jon in the beginning, you were pretty good. looking forward to seeing Asha wipe the floor with you you little turd.
A
Cast of thousands (everyone else):
Dear Roz the whore: Not sure why you were included other than this series' odd fascination with mixing explanatory dioalogue with sex. Whatever, you was okay.
B
Dear Shae: You looked something like thirty and not quite right. Maybe it'll improve later but you left me cold.
C
Dear Bronn: I challenge you to find anyone who didn't like Bronn. Everyone loved you in the books, everyone loves you now. Rock on you evil sod.
A+
Dear Miraaz Mag Dur (yeah I got that wrong so curse me- AAAAHHHRGR!): Prefection, you were probably the best cast and best acted character. I loved you and watching you die was a delight.
A*
Dear assorted Dothraki: (looks under the table, behind the sofa, in the wardrobe) Where were the rest of you? Unstoppable hoard you were not.
D
Dear Vale of Aryn barbarians: Couldn't get enough of you. You were everything we wanted but your time was sadly cut. Loving you from afar (very afar).
A
Dear Barristan Selmy: *pom-poms come out again* Love you! Now find a real royal, there's a good chap.
A*
Dear Direwolves: You were dogs. Really obviously dogs. Would have prefered CGI wolves. Couldn't take you seriously.
C
Dear everyone else: If I haven't mentioned you you were so good that you blended in perfectly with my expectations. Love you all darlings!
A
Directing, filming, etc:
Dear plot: Could have really used twelve episodes rather than ten, everything felt a bit rushed and the scenes were cut a bit haphazardly, tragedy leading on to humor (and often porn).
B
Dear porn: Occasionally got a bit much sometimes, although enjoyed occasional sights of penis.
B-
Dear special effects: Would actually have liked more of you for wolves, Dothraki hoard, and other such. Hope the future series have a bigger budget.
B
Dear cinematography: You deserve Frey's fate, Tywin's damnation and Theon's torture. Die in a fire. You sucked and nearly broke the series at times. A ruinous mess.
X (too bad to rate)