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So yeah, I dreamed that Bodhi Rook got some kind of precognition Force Dream just before the events of Rogue One, which involved roughly outlining what was about to happen to him, plus the winning numbers of the current Interstellar lottery. 

Armed without about a million credits, Bodhi goes quickly over to the local spaceport and buys all the ship upgrades his can think of, against storms, new sensors, extra batteries- and for some reason a small internal shielding unit what he doesn’t get because that’s mostly used for people working in vacuum conditions or in asteroid belts to bounce off minor impacts but who cares, he’s just had a weird premonition he’s going to save the universe. If it wants an internal shielding unit, it can get an internal shielding unit.

Most of the plot then goes as canon (Bodhi is really pissed the dream didn’t warn him about Saw), except they don’t crash on Eadu, and for the last battle-

Well, the extra power cells means they can transmit the signal directly from the ship to the Rebel fleet, and we all know what the small internal shielding unit was for. 50% less casualties and everyone we love gets off world in time.

Jump forward to the events of the Force Awakens and we’re with Rey and Finn and Poe and Poe is going all crazy hero worship because they’re meeting some total rebel heroes and yes they’re all fine and Bodhi and Finn make out and why is there only one fic with the pairing ao3!
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Mary Sue is a term that get thrown around a lot whenever anyone thinks a (usually female) character is too talented, too awesome, and generally makes them feel insecure in their big boy pant. There have been a lot of post rightfully castigating this rubbish, but I’d like to turn attention to what I think is the real mark of a Mary Sue, whether they are male or female, and what makes the few real examples of this trope so insufferable.

They make everyone around them suddenly turn into cowards, idiots, or both.

Now, to expand on this- this does not apply for books or movies or whatever where the Mary Sue is established as the main character or as the same time as other character. The Mary Sue must go into an established world of character we know are likable, capable and, while flawed, are generally good. Their presence must exacerbate and Flanderise the worst traits of these character in order to make the Sue look good.

If you need the perfect example of a Mary Sue, then look no further than this minion of Naar:

If you are my age, your arsehole has just puckered shut and your hands are itching to punch that utter little shit into tiny Puppy Power Puddles. Debatably one of the most hated characters in animation- if not ever.

Why?

Because we knew the characters before he came along. We knew Shaggy and Scooby Doo as likable cowards who nevertheless did the right thing. When Scrappy came along though, they became more cowardly, more cringing, more pathetic so Scrappy could have their heroics. Other characters disappeared to make room for him. For whatever reason, wider appeal or just because they liked the characters, the makers of Scooby Doo wanted to make Scrappy the main character.

And wow did that backfire.

Mary Sues are a bait and switch. Us in the Lone Wolf crew got his pretty hard when the novelisations were handed over to some moron who openly hated the gamebooks and happily turned the main characters into drooling, cruel, abusive idiots in order to build up his own faves. They weren’t even bad faves, but by the end the entire fandom loathed them for being perfect little princesses while the people who were the whole reason we read the books were turned into toads.

(if you want to see a fight break out, just go into any Lone Wolf Forum and start a thread with the name Qinefer in the title)

In short, if Rey was a Mary Sue, then Han Solo would be shown to be a clueless, inept coward, unable to fix or fly his own ship and standing slack-jawed at Rey’s effortless skills. 

Mary Sues don’t share the spotlight, everyone has to stand in inferior awe of them, or be written out. It’s not so bad when they’re in fanfic and we have the Mighty Back Button, but yes, us Lone Wolf fans are pretty damn bitter our big outing in the world of fiction was shat upon so thoroughly.

November 2019

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