Stolen from Penknife

[skull_bearer]

Name three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return (and if inspired), I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them.

Comments

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Don't you still have some Five Things Memes to do? ";-]

Anyway, you'll never write:

- Sturm/Tas porn.

- Something with a really annoyingly camp Dalamar.

- A canon-verse scene where Raistlin falls in love with Crysania, asks for her hand and promises to have a ton of children.

See, that's what you get for not doing the Fives. ":-P (Well, you wouldn't write these fics and I'm not sure I'd like to read them, but hey, it's in the challenge... Argh! Sturm porn! *runs off to spork eyes out*)

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

Okay, never mind the snippets, it's all I could do not to vomit at the screen after that. *shudders*

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

*cackles nastily* You were asking for it.

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

And you can still be glad the mpreg idea didn't occur to me before now... Ooops. *falls of chair cackling*

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

*headdesk* You were right, I was asking for it. This was so totally the wrong meme.

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

No, it's not your fault. It's only that I know too well what you'd really never write. ";-P

And because I really do have the most awful and disgusting sense of "humour" (not that anyone ever doubted that):

"Is it a boy or a girl?"
"It's a... Live One."

*runs for cover* "X-D

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

I am delibrately trying not to think of a context for this.

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

And what context is it that you are so carefully not thinking of? *snicker*

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

Something alng the lines of 'who is talking?'.

Just. No.

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

I knew. I just wanted to remind you, so you can carefully not think of it some more. *gloats*

[halokitty69.livejournal.com]

I think I may join you with the removing of eyes via spork. And then I will bleach my brain.

I wish I hadn't followed the cut while I was eating breakfast :S

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

I'm just grateful she didn't think of anything with Fistandantilus, because the possibilities are (unfortunately) endless.

[halokitty69.livejournal.com]

*shudders*...liches give me the creeps anyways, and that particular lich is waaaaaay worse than most. *pokes fistandantilus with a pointy stick, then runs away*

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

I usually like undead (unless they're vampires), but Fistandantilus is one of the most evil characters ever, and a nice example of why evil is not always 'cool'.

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Why don't you like vampires?

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

Vampires are waaaay too cliche (thank you Anne Rice, who's books I never liked).

I like most other kinds of undead too, even zombies (which are pretty cliche, but funny) Fistandantilus is the exception.

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

*lol* I actually started liking vampires only AFTER reading Anne Rice (and unsurprisingly I do like most of her books, at least the old ones). I thought the Nosferatu-type vampires were the cliché and I never liked those.

Strangely enough, I think Liches and Vampires do have certain things in common.

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Oh, I did, but you only asked for three and I figured the others were worse. ";-]

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

I don't doubt it *shudders*

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

Sorry, didn't mean to squick anybody... *whistles inconspicuously*

Sometimes I squick myself quite badly, too. If knowing that helps you in any way?
Seriously, I have no idea how images like those come from.